Thread: MSBA Seminar
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Old 03-08-2010, 04:54 PM   #17
RoyL
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: To close to water for my insanity
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This is probably why I lost my voice....I must have told the udder cream story a 100 times....lol. or when I was yelling for my life.

See, I had to go use the men's room before I headed home yesterday. Well, when I came out every one was gone. Not a person left in the venue. I then worked my way out the back vendor door on my bike to my car, It was the only car in the parking lot besides a dark colored van which I thought nothing of. As I made my way to my vehicle the van took off and two guys in masks jumped out and thru a pillow case over my head. I tried fighting back and yelling for help but there was no use. They quickly bounded my hands and legs with duct tape and shoved a rag that smelt like eels in my mouth. I couldn't tell you where they took me, but I know it felt like we road around for ever. The van then came to a stop and another rag this one which smelt like pogie oil was used to knock me out. When I came to I found my self tied to a beach chair in what looked like an old shack which had hundreds of old plugs hanging from its rafters. I could hear my captors talking, but couldn't make out what they were saying till I heard a door creek open and another guy walk in. One guy asked the other ..." You got the video"...the other guy replied "Ya, but I don't remember him saying anything" Then I herd a deeper voice say..." If this guy gave any of our spots up, Im going to shove a 4oz pencil up his &^%$%^ god help him, one pole number and he's toast. At this point I didn't know what to expect...am I going to die?......is this video of my seminar? and when they see I gave nothing up will they let me go? to be honest with all of you, I was afraid for my life........They then went outside to talk over there plans. This when I realized if I was going to make it out alive and walking normal from these crazy canal rats I would have to make a move now. Apparently these guys weren't S-b members and when tied me up didn't realize that my smooth and soft nipples from using udder cream for all these years would allow me to slip thru the rope they used to tie me to the chair. I was then able to reach my pocket size udder cream and squeeze some on the duct tape allowing me to slip my hands and legs free. I then took off the blind fold and made my way thru the back of the shed and out a plank that was loose in the wall. There I saw my bike....so I made my way to it and headed down a long dirt road. By now my captors had realized I was gone and were on my tail. Taking the last bit of the udder cream I squirted it on the road sending there van over a cliff and into the canal. Luckly I was able to flag a car down when I made it to a main road which then called 911 for me and I was then taken to a local hospital. Thank god I was able to make it out alive with only a few bruises and scratches...The police said I was lucky to have such soft nipples and able to slip free....They never found my kidnapers and they said I now will have to watch my back.

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