Screw the boyfriend.....he is an ass and no good for your daughter! The heck with how your daughter feels about how you handled it.....the guy destroys your home and you are supposed to do nothing??!!! Lucky you didn't lay a beating on his ass for that!!! Never mind going after your daughter like that!!!! I would go a step further and apply for a restraining order......nip this in the bud or it will get worse! This is one way to make sure they stay apart....at least on your property and if he also has to stay "X" amount of feet away from your daughter thats a bonus too!!! I think it was perfect he got arrested in front of the entire family.......but of course they think it was your daughters fault.........sounds like a family of "Ass-Hats"!! You did right!!
If he has sent messages and threatening ones at that........get the restraining order now!!!