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UserRemoved1 · 09-23-2011, 04:32 PM

In case it gets deleted

You are bidding on a TomTom Go 700

This was my wife's, may her knicker draw be infested with the fleas of a thousand Camels...

The Go 700 was once the top of the range Sat Nav from TomTom, with an internal Hard Disk Drive instead of the traditional SD Card, and had full Bluetooth and Wireless capabilities.

I bought this for the back-stabbing harlot, some four or five years ago, before she met Nigel with the Little Penis, and it cost me over £400...
As bless her cheating little heart, she gets lost driving out of the street...perhaps without this she would never have found the way to Nigels door, nor perhaps his stain riddled bed...

Her infidelity was discovered when I took her car for an MOT, and while waiting, I was tinkering with the Sat Nav and noticed that all her recent journeys had all been to Nigel's...
So, like any normal human, I reprogrammed Nigel's address to one in a town far far away...

My wife bless her treacherous ways, didn't realise there was anything amiss until she was driving East along the M4.
She then tried to act all innocent and lying through her cherry red venemous snake lips, asked if I could sort out her beloved TomTom as something was terribly wrong with it: when she used it to drive to her sisters it took her along the M4.
I presume her sister means Nigel with the erectile problems...
With the anger of the betrayed I said I would, but my frustration and anger caused me to accidently delete all the files from the internal drive instead...

Words were spoken, accusations were made... The air hung heavy and was coloured blue with profanity...
I find it difficult to believe her claims that this is all my fault...
I wasn't the one getting lost while travelling to Pencil #^&#^&#^&#^& Nigel's house...

After much arguing she has decided her future lies in the squallor of Nigel's cockroach infested hovell...
Good luck to them both... may the ten plagues of Egypt visit their stained adulterous bed...

I now have her TomTom Go 700 but have no idea how to reinstall the software, and really I don't want the reminder of the cheating, lying, heartless, creature of the night.
All the other accessories are still in her car, so I hope they are happy living at Nigels together.

Therefore this auction is just for the TomTom Go 700 itself...

I'm sure someone somewhere can make this work...

As an after thought...
There is no returns for this...I really don't want it back...

The auction Starts at a low but fair £20 and all proceeds will go to taking me out on a bloody good night with copious amounts of alcahol, wine, women, and song...and if the price is right...maybe a curry to boot...

So please bid with confidence that all proceeds are for a very worthy cause...

Good Luck

Oh and Postage is for UK only So anywhere else contact me for a price to anywhere else...

Question & Answer Answered On
Q: Best listing ever - hope you sell it, gets loads of money and have a totally brill night out

23-Sep-11
A: I wouldn't call it the best listing ever - but it's certainly brought some happiness to a few people...
Q: Much easier to get a dog

and cheaper plus frontline can handle the fleas pmsl 23-Sep-11
A: I had a dog look how that turned out... I think your advice needs some work... don't give up the day job...
Q: chap i just have to say that you have my sympathy as i know what its like. great write up, i hope you gets loads for it and you get totally wasted. big up me :0) 23-Sep-11
A: Buddy... glad you like the write up...adultery is a bitch... or should that be adultery is because she's a bitch ? hmmmm...
Q: Hi Dave, Sorry, I don't really need a SAT NAV but I just wanted to say good luck with the auction, and I hope you enjoy the night out, booze and (with any luck which seems to have eluded you so far with your choice of beloved) a delicious and nutritious curry. All the best 23-Sep-11
A: Are you sure that you're sure that you don't need a SatNav... They're useful when they work...Mine don't but there's others that do...Is there such a thing as a nutritious curry ? tasty and delicious yes...but nutritious not too sure about that...
Q: Hi Dave, i would like to wish u the very very best 4 the future. Gd luk mate xxx 23-Sep-11
A: I would like to wish me a lottery win... Euro millions tonight would do nicely... hey ho we all have dreams... or as I've had in recent years nightmares and dayhorses....
Q: Dave you are a legend! x x x 23-Sep-11
A: No, not quite a legend yet, but this listing seems to helping...
Q: hi dave i just had to tap out a few words, first of all to say how much i laughed when reading your post, and also maybe a few words of commiseration, but it does sound like you are well rid. im sorry thsat i dont need a sat-nav at the moment, i do still like the old fashioned map reading myself, but i wish you the best of luck, hope it sells for loads of cash and you have a damn good night out. you sound like a diamond geezer with a great sense of humour. xx 23-Sep-11
A: As long as you're only tapping out words, then we're cool...anything else and you're on your own... and really it's best not to boast about personal habits your secret is safe with me but there might be one or two people watching...
Q: i love you dave 23-Sep-11
A: Thank you... I love you too...
Q: Hi Dave, just read this listing via our own website posted by a member, and i`ve got to say after having a crap week at work this has cheered me up no end....good luck with the listing...(it should win an award) and good luck for the future...Andy 23-Sep-11
A: Hi Andy, You've been having a crap all week at work... glad this has cheered you up, but #^&#^&#^&#^& man, you really need to go see the doctor crapping all week long that really aint normal...
Q: Oh what a refreshing change sense of humour is 110%, love it if Carlsberg made men id love one just like you, good luck with finding a decent woman and somehow I think things with Hefer and Nigel small cock will last as long as his erection, which judging by recent comments not very long..........muchas love xx 23-Sep-11
A: Sense of humour... yes... you should hear me on a good day...I might even make 11.1% ! A Carlsberg now that sounds good, I need a drink after all these replys... You are quite correct, Nigel smallcock isn't very long and for god sake don't blink else he'd have cum and gone......... lovas muchas possible...
Q: a Satellite just fell out of the sky and landed on my shed. will this cause the gps function to fail or make my eye bleed? or both 23-Sep-11
A: Sorry to hear about the Satelite landing on your shed...it shouldn't be a problem with the GPS functions of a SatNav but the radiation might give you a nasty itch, especially if you've touched it and then failed to wash your hands...But it shouldn't make you eyes bleed, maybe water a little... but if you see either Nigel or the Devils Spawn then you will have to wash your eyes out with bleach just to save the onset of blindness..
Q: this is that funny that it is doing the rounds on facebook lol i was tempted to bid myself just so you could get pissed and i dont even drive 23-Sep-11
A: Yes I understand that it is creating quite a stir on facebook... It's all beyond me at the moment
Q: I would bid just cos i think your a top fella

23-Sep-11
A: It's a free world, who am I to say what you should do... so bid if you wish, or simply enjoy the listing and it's many many comments...
Q: Mate, this is genius! I hope you get the money your looking for and have a cracking night out! Her loss...Shes obviously got a Dirt and Grub fetish by the looks! All the best! this has made me day! 23-Sep-11
A: A Dirt and Grub fetish, you obviosly know her... and well by the sounds of it...
Q: Hi I have a question - You seem to know a lot about the size of Nigels equipment, yet nowhere in your listing do you mention how you came by such information. Is this pure speculation or can you offer any sort of factual evidence? Many thanks - Not Nigel 23-Sep-11
A: Hi Not Nigel... Are you sure you're not Nigel, that wasn't very convincing! and frankly why state that at all...no one else has... I suspect you are Nigel... so in answer to your question, you remember when you put the Hussey's hand down your trousers and she said no thanks I don't smoke...Thats how we all know...
Q: Just seen this,brilliant 23-Sep-11
A: I've seen it too...what are we looking at...and why is it brilliant...
Q: Hi would you possibly consider a swop for a Weather Satellite ? Its slightly damaged , one owner , VERY VERY High mileage , delivery possible somwere in the western hemisphere about 23.00 CET ?? This is of course a swop for your Sat Nav , NOT your soon to be EX wife .... Regards NASA , Houston Texas , USA ..... 23-Sep-11
A: Hmmmm, that is tempting... I could use a weather satelite, it just depends whether or not the damage is excessive, I do believe that everything comes to he who waits so I'll see what happens in the next few hours, if I don't suddenly have a weather station in my garden I'll get back to you...Are you sure that NASA doesn't want to take the Harlot of a Thousand Penetrations in part ex for say a Space Shuttle... I'll accept a small cash adjustment on your part, just to balance things up fairly...

09-23-2011, 04:32 PM	#2
UserRemoved1 Permanently Disconnected iTrader: (-9) Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 12,647	In case it gets deleted You are bidding on a TomTom Go 700 This was my wife's, may her knicker draw be infested with the fleas of a thousand Camels... The Go 700 was once the top of the range Sat Nav from TomTom, with an internal Hard Disk Drive instead of the traditional SD Card, and had full Bluetooth and Wireless capabilities. I bought this for the back-stabbing harlot, some four or five years ago, before she met Nigel with the Little Penis, and it cost me over £400... As bless her cheating little heart, she gets lost driving out of the street...perhaps without this she would never have found the way to Nigels door, nor perhaps his stain riddled bed... Her infidelity was discovered when I took her car for an MOT, and while waiting, I was tinkering with the Sat Nav and noticed that all her recent journeys had all been to Nigel's... So, like any normal human, I reprogrammed Nigel's address to one in a town far far away... My wife bless her treacherous ways, didn't realise there was anything amiss until she was driving East along the M4. She then tried to act all innocent and lying through her cherry red venemous snake lips, asked if I could sort out her beloved TomTom as something was terribly wrong with it: when she used it to drive to her sisters it took her along the M4. I presume her sister means Nigel with the erectile problems... With the anger of the betrayed I said I would, but my frustration and anger caused me to accidently delete all the files from the internal drive instead... Words were spoken, accusations were made... The air hung heavy and was coloured blue with profanity... I find it difficult to believe her claims that this is all my fault... I wasn't the one getting lost while travelling to Pencil #^&#^&#^&#^& Nigel's house... After much arguing she has decided her future lies in the squallor of Nigel's cockroach infested hovell... Good luck to them both... may the ten plagues of Egypt visit their stained adulterous bed... I now have her TomTom Go 700 but have no idea how to reinstall the software, and really I don't want the reminder of the cheating, lying, heartless, creature of the night. All the other accessories are still in her car, so I hope they are happy living at Nigels together. Therefore this auction is just for the TomTom Go 700 itself... I'm sure someone somewhere can make this work... As an after thought... There is no returns for this...I really don't want it back... The auction Starts at a low but fair £20 and all proceeds will go to taking me out on a bloody good night with copious amounts of alcahol, wine, women, and song...and if the price is right...maybe a curry to boot... So please bid with confidence that all proceeds are for a very worthy cause... Good Luck Oh and Postage is for UK only So anywhere else contact me for a price to anywhere else... Question & Answer Answered On Q: Best listing ever - hope you sell it, gets loads of money and have a totally brill night out 23-Sep-11 A: I wouldn't call it the best listing ever - but it's certainly brought some happiness to a few people... Q: Much easier to get a dog and cheaper plus frontline can handle the fleas pmsl 23-Sep-11 A: I had a dog look how that turned out... I think your advice needs some work... don't give up the day job... Q: chap i just have to say that you have my sympathy as i know what its like. great write up, i hope you gets loads for it and you get totally wasted. big up me :0) 23-Sep-11 A: Buddy... glad you like the write up...adultery is a bitch... or should that be adultery is because she's a bitch ? hmmmm... Q: Hi Dave, Sorry, I don't really need a SAT NAV but I just wanted to say good luck with the auction, and I hope you enjoy the night out, booze and (with any luck which seems to have eluded you so far with your choice of beloved) a delicious and nutritious curry. All the best 23-Sep-11 A: Are you sure that you're sure that you don't need a SatNav... They're useful when they work...Mine don't but there's others that do...Is there such a thing as a nutritious curry ? tasty and delicious yes...but nutritious not too sure about that... Q: Hi Dave, i would like to wish u the very very best 4 the future. Gd luk mate xxx 23-Sep-11 A: I would like to wish me a lottery win... Euro millions tonight would do nicely... hey ho we all have dreams... or as I've had in recent years nightmares and dayhorses.... Q: Dave you are a legend! x x x 23-Sep-11 A: No, not quite a legend yet, but this listing seems to helping... Q: hi dave i just had to tap out a few words, first of all to say how much i laughed when reading your post, and also maybe a few words of commiseration, but it does sound like you are well rid. im sorry thsat i dont need a sat-nav at the moment, i do still like the old fashioned map reading myself, but i wish you the best of luck, hope it sells for loads of cash and you have a damn good night out. you sound like a diamond geezer with a great sense of humour. xx 23-Sep-11 A: As long as you're only tapping out words, then we're cool...anything else and you're on your own... and really it's best not to boast about personal habits your secret is safe with me but there might be one or two people watching... Q: i love you dave 23-Sep-11 A: Thank you... I love you too... Q: Hi Dave, just read this listing via our own website posted by a member, and i`ve got to say after having a crap week at work this has cheered me up no end....good luck with the listing...(it should win an award) and good luck for the future...Andy 23-Sep-11 A: Hi Andy, You've been having a crap all week at work... glad this has cheered you up, but #^&#^&#^&#^& man, you really need to go see the doctor crapping all week long that really aint normal... Q: Oh what a refreshing change sense of humour is 110%, love it if Carlsberg made men id love one just like you, good luck with finding a decent woman and somehow I think things with Hefer and Nigel small cock will last as long as his erection, which judging by recent comments not very long..........muchas love xx 23-Sep-11 A: Sense of humour... yes... you should hear me on a good day...I might even make 11.1% ! A Carlsberg now that sounds good, I need a drink after all these replys... You are quite correct, Nigel smallcock isn't very long and for god sake don't blink else he'd have cum and gone......... lovas muchas possible... Q: a Satellite just fell out of the sky and landed on my shed. will this cause the gps function to fail or make my eye bleed? or both 23-Sep-11 A: Sorry to hear about the Satelite landing on your shed...it shouldn't be a problem with the GPS functions of a SatNav but the radiation might give you a nasty itch, especially if you've touched it and then failed to wash your hands...But it shouldn't make you eyes bleed, maybe water a little... but if you see either Nigel or the Devils Spawn then you will have to wash your eyes out with bleach just to save the onset of blindness.. Q: this is that funny that it is doing the rounds on facebook lol i was tempted to bid myself just so you could get pissed and i dont even drive 23-Sep-11 A: Yes I understand that it is creating quite a stir on facebook... It's all beyond me at the moment Q: I would bid just cos i think your a top fella 23-Sep-11 A: It's a free world, who am I to say what you should do... so bid if you wish, or simply enjoy the listing and it's many many comments... Q: Mate, this is genius! I hope you get the money your looking for and have a cracking night out! Her loss...Shes obviously got a Dirt and Grub fetish by the looks! All the best! this has made me day! 23-Sep-11 A: A Dirt and Grub fetish, you obviosly know her... and well by the sounds of it... Q: Hi I have a question - You seem to know a lot about the size of Nigels equipment, yet nowhere in your listing do you mention how you came by such information. Is this pure speculation or can you offer any sort of factual evidence? Many thanks - Not Nigel 23-Sep-11 A: Hi Not Nigel... Are you sure you're not Nigel, that wasn't very convincing! and frankly why state that at all...no one else has... I suspect you are Nigel... so in answer to your question, you remember when you put the Hussey's hand down your trousers and she said no thanks I don't smoke...Thats how we all know... Q: Just seen this,brilliant 23-Sep-11 A: I've seen it too...what are we looking at...and why is it brilliant... Q: Hi would you possibly consider a swop for a Weather Satellite ? Its slightly damaged , one owner , VERY VERY High mileage , delivery possible somwere in the western hemisphere about 23.00 CET ?? This is of course a swop for your Sat Nav , NOT your soon to be EX wife .... Regards NASA , Houston Texas , USA ..... 23-Sep-11 A: Hmmmm, that is tempting... I could use a weather satelite, it just depends whether or not the damage is excessive, I do believe that everything comes to he who waits so I'll see what happens in the next few hours, if I don't suddenly have a weather station in my garden I'll get back to you...Are you sure that NASA doesn't want to take the Harlot of a Thousand Penetrations in part ex for say a Space Shuttle... I'll accept a small cash adjustment on your part, just to balance things up fairly...