Q: Good luck with this mate you deserve a good night out after all this xx 23-Sep-11
A: I'm gonna need to buy a new bloody keyboard after all the typing thats been done recently...at least my typing is for a reason, unlike the brazen hussey of a thousand warts, she will have to resort to Gusset Typing as I'm sure Nigel will give her no satisfaction
Q: I've linked this to twitter in the hope of getting more bids. Loads of my friends are linking it on Facebook as well. Hope you get enough for a cracking night out! Sounds like you deserve it. Ever considered writing for a career? You write beautifully. 23-Sep-11
A: Hi thanks for the feedback, I'm completely shocked by the response that this listing is having... It does seem that at the moment I'm quite popular on facebook... I'm considering signing up and starting my own page... obviously with updates and much more interesting things than the sale of a SatNav...
Q: if it wasnt for owning a sat nav already! i would bid to fund your well deserved night out! your a true inspiration! i hope Nigels little button mushroom gets warts and falls off! best of luck for your future ! 23-Sep-11
A: Yes Mushroom Boy does have some problems to overcome... perhaps if he reads this listing he too will find inspiration on how to triumph over adversity...then again I doubt if he will ever show his face in public again...
Q: Hello Dave I don't need a Satnav but wanted to say absolute class 23-Sep-11
A: Thanks... are you sure you don't need a SatNav... they're very good when used properly...
Q: Love the advert mate fair play lol 23-Sep-11
A: Thanks glad you enjoyed it... it seems that people all around the world are finding it a happy releaase...well everyone except Nigel, he fails to have any sort of release as he has erectile problems...
Q: Just want to say, the description for the tom-tom is quality! 23-Sep-11
A: Thank you, alas there is no quality in Nigels trousers, nor with the who hussey fled through the night to his bed of thorns - well one little prick is hardly a bed of thorns but you get the drift...
Q: Hi there Dave!I just wanted to say that I think you're brill and cheers for the hilarious and entertaining comments. You'd make a great columnist you know, but then maybe you already are
Good luck to you and have a great party soon!!! Rgds, Monique 23-Sep-11
A: Hi Monique... I'm shocked by how many people are enjoying this listing, I'm not a columnist, but from all the positive feed back I am seriously re-evaluating where to go next...
Q: hi there im vicky and wanted to know are you on facebook and if so would you like to chat as i too have been sufference to a similar tale we could plan a very messy night out in tribute to our good luck in riddings of the short (lol) comings (ooo eeer) that we have ridded ourselves of.... message me on here i am rabbitsfoo1 x 23-Sep-11
A: Hi Vicky, I'm not personally on facebook... but by the amount of comments and people linking this listing to their pages I'm all over it like the rash on the thighs of the Scarlet Hussey... I'll consider signing up after this... If you're serious contact me again...
Q: hi dave i just want to say brilliant i salute u sir! 23-Sep-11
A: Why thank you very much, I shake your hand with respect...don't worry it has been completely disinfected and I have assurances that there are no contagious diseases...NHS warning No Doctors were consulted during the writing of this reply
Q: Can I ask Dave,why did you not go round and beat seven bales out of Nigel? 23-Sep-11
A: I can't confess to such actions, nor can I condone them, especially here on eBay where there seems to such interest, after all I don't want to get arrested. Besides there is a part of me that thinks I have actually got the better deal...I got a SatNav that doesn't work: he got a soul-s#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&g creature from a venomous pit of vipers, who will eat him out of house and home, bleed him dry and still demand more...then she will simply repeat her cycle of finding some other poor helpless whimp, and Nigel will find himself alone and back to relieving himself between fore-finger and thumb... I say good luck to them both...
Q: SL4 PP3R............when i typed that into my satnav its directing me to Harlot 46 Minna (should that be Minger) Street in San Francisco. Is that where this famous Nigel of the Underprivileged resides? or is myk my TomTom on the blink, in which case it looks like I will be entering this bidding frenzy!!! 23-Sep-11
A: I wouldn't be surprised if Nigel with the little penis and erictile problems leaves the country long before this listing ends... he has been named, shamed, and villified here on eBay for evermore... o San Fransisco is as good a place as any to hide away in shame... So in answer to your question I don't think your SatNav is on the blink... but if the screen is flashing, which can be reminiscent of a blink then perhaps it needs looking at...
Q: I have read your listing courtesy of my husband and have got to say I find your posting hilarious! I don't need a satnav as I am a rare breed of woman who can read a map but was tempted to bid because your listing is brill. All the very best Mary 23-Sep-11
A: Hi Mary, thank you... Your husband is a lucky lucky man, women who can read maps are a rare breed, and should be treated accordingly...in some far off countries, women with such skills are stoned to death for practicing witch craft... The SatNav wouldn't be much use to a skilled cartographer such as yourself, it doesn't even have any maps on it... perhaps you might like to use it as a paper-weight to hold your own maps on the dashboard...Or perhaps use it as a club to batter anyone who passes snide comments about your ability to read a map...
Q: do you have the upload lead to connect the tomtom to the computer so it can be re-loaded with software or has the unmentionable taken all the leads 23-Sep-11
A: She who shall be nameless here for evermore has everything else... I'm sure someone cleverer than I can be load it with software or maps or even the postcode to Nigel with the missing manhood... but I neither know how to do this, where to get the afore mentioned items, nor do I care to be reminded of the ghastly grim and acid maiden for fear of dreams no mortal man should ever be forced to endure...
Q: hi,just wanting to say congratulations on getting rid of your hoe and i hope you party hard lol no idea why she would downsize,it's insanity...my friend tracey loves you too =) 23-Sep-11
A: Hello to fans of this listing down-under... In fact hello to all readers world-wide... Thanks for the words of encouragement and support. I intend to party and hopefully get hard: rather than just party hard... I have no idea why she would down-size either: it beggers belief... perhaps she thought it'd be easier on gas... she did suffer badly from Gusset Gas, but apparently that's something to do with not everyone being endowed with a baby's arm holding an apple, and because women are designed to accomodate something smaller the resulting damage allows for severe front-bottom flatulance...
Q: picture of wife? 23-Sep-11
A: Removed from the listing by eBay... apparently it was too horrific and was too upsetting to small children, teenagers, adults, and generally all forms of life, animal, vegetable or mineral on planet earth... A group of pan dimensional beings from the dimension Zeta-b4-Douglas-M found it to be quite pleasant, offering to trade her for a Grrubbihoe, which in Pounds Sterling equates to a quick hand shuffle down the local Red Light District...
Q: You are a top fella dave!!! 23-Sep-11
A: I'm also really good from beneath or behind aswell...
Q: What a shame that Nigels addres is not still in the Sat Nav, I was looking for a gift for my wife..... 23-Sep-11
A: Am I to assume you are having marital problems? I can understand why... buying your wife a SatNav as a gift will not make her happy, nor will it get you any action in the bedroom department... Start again with something simple... start with flowers and chocolates, and then work up to lingerie and perfumes... best get to know her size and preference first though... Seriously mate, forget the Gadgets and Gizmo's they're Boy's Toys... Good Luck you're gonna need it...
Q: Hiya Dave, This is a really popular listing I see with over 13000 views so far!!!! I've two suggestions for you....Firstly is to put a link from here to facebook suggesting a party (at a date that would of course be for you to arrange)that is being held at Nigels, and secondly asking each viewer to donate £1 to your wine women and curry night out. Unfortunately I wouldnt be able to attend the party, but if you raise enough in the way of donations would be able to help you with the alcohol women and curry. By the way, you say you bought this item for your wife..how on earth did she attach it to her witches broom? 23-Sep-11
A: Thanks for your suggestion, It seems there have been many people who have linked this listing to their facebook pages already... But I do like the idea of the party... I will certainly give that some thought...TomTom sell mounting brackets for broomsticks, it's called Duct Tape [pronounced duck tape] and is now commonly accepted by most covens as a replacement for the traditional witches 'familiar'... It seems there have been complaints from the Cat Protection League about kittens falling from broomsticks, or simply being traumatised by flight...