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WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Senator Susan Collins has put John Bolton’s new book in her Amazon cart but is undecided about placing an order for it, Collins confirmed on Thursday.
Speaking to reporters at the Senate, Collins called the decision to pull the trigger on the Bolton book “one of the most wrenching of my career.”
“My computer’s cursor has hovered over the ‘Place your order’ button for hours without clicking on it,” she said. “This is not a decision I take lightly.”
The Republican senator from Maine indicated that, even if she ultimately decides to buy Bolton’s book, she is leaving open the possibility of returning the book to Amazon.
“All options are on the table,” she said.
In her most revealing statement, Collins admitted that she has more than three hundred other items in her Amazon cart that she has yet to commit to buying.
Those items include sunglasses, a hand mixer, several pairs of capri pants, and a beekeeping kit.
Collins said that, although she is interested in pursuing beekeeping as a hobby, she is troubled and concerned about the behavior of bees.
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