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If she is going to stick with the vacation-canceling bs, tell her (not ask) that you want a written note stating that any unused vacation days WILL be carried over to next year.
If she says no o that, tell her that "sorry, but the vacation days are not negotiable as you paid for a vacation rental with a "no refund" policy.
Unfortunately you will come cross some POS that think they're top dog when they're really just another runt in the litter.
My company requires that we submit vacation requests as soon as possible to try to avoid conflicts.
If she is ignoring the first come first serve rules that mot companies adopted, you may have a case for HR to look into.
Hopefully you were still able to enjoy some vacation!
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