This morning on the interstate,
I looked over to my left and there was a woman
In a brand new Cadillac
Doing 65 mph
With her face up next to her
Rear view mirror
Putting on her eyeliner.
I looked away
For a couple seconds...
to continue shaving
And when I looked back she was
Halfway over in my lane,
Still working on that makeup.
As a man,
I don't scare easily.
But she scared me so much;
I had to put on my seat belt
and I dropped
My electric shaver
Which knocked
The donut
Out of my other hand.
In all The confusion of trying
To straighten out the car
Using my knees against
The steering wheel,
It knocked
My Cell Phone
Away from my ear
Which fell
Into the coffee
Between my legs!
Splashed,
And burned
Big Jim and the Twins,
Ruined the damn phone,
Soaked my trousers,
And disconnected an
Important call.
Damn women drivers!
