Hey, for that kinda money the horse's ass oughta Fedex 'em to ya for free.
But if anyone actually goes for the price I am available as an escort.
I promise not to smoke, fart or chatter too much during the performance, although I do reserve the right to express myself during intermissions and the lull before the encore.
If anyone with the tickets is interested, particularly that girl in the stars and stripes bikini that catches bass, please PM me for my #.
I could be available on very short notice - but no real fatties, please. Rubinesque is okay, though -