Five Levels of Drinking

[The Dad Fisherman]

Since FUBAR was the word this weekend I thougfht some of you guys might appreciate this......I know I've been through all the Levels (With the Exception of the Busboy)

LEVEL 1:
It's 11:00 on a weeknight, you've had a few beers. You get up to leave because you have work the next day and one of your friends buys another round. One of your UNEMPLOYED friends. Here at level one you think to yourself, "Oh come on, this is silly, why as long as I get seven hours of sleep... (snap fingers), I'm cool.".

LEVEL 2:
It's midnight. You've had a few more beers. You've just spent 20 minutes arguing against artificial turf. You get up to leave again, but at level two, a little devil appears on your shoulder. And now you're thinking, "Hey! I'm out with my friends! What am I working for anyway? These are the good times! Besides, as long as I get five hours sleep... (snaps fingers) I'm cool.".

LEVEL 3:
It's one in the morning. You've abandoned beer for tequila. You've just spent 20 minutes arguing FOR artificial turf. And now you're thinking, "Our waitress is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen!" At level three, you love the world. On the way to the bathroom you buy a drink for the stranger at the end of the bar just because you like his face. You get drinking fantasies. (like,"Hey fellas, if we bought our own bar, we could live together forever. We could do it. Tommy, you could cook.") But at level three, that devil is a little bit bigger....and he's buying. And you're thinking "Oh, come on, come on now. As long as I get three hours sleep...and a complete change of blood... (snaps fingers), I'm cool.".

LEVEL 4:
Two in the morning. And the devil is bartending. For last call, you ordered a bottle of rum and a Coke. You ARE artificial turf! This time on your way to the bathroom, you punch the stranger at the end of the bar. Just because you don't like his face! And now you're thinking, "Our busboy is the best looking man I've ever seen." You and your friends decide to leave, right after you get thrown out, and one of you knows an ...after hours bar. And here, at level four, you actually think to yourself, "Well....as long as I'm only going to get a few hours sleep anyway, I may as well....STAY UP ALL NIGHT!!!! Yeah! That'd be good for me. I don't mind going to that board meeting looking like Keith Richards. Yeah, I'll turn that around, make it work for me. And besides, as long as I get 31 hours sleep tomorrow ...................cool.

LEVEL 5:
Five in the morning. after unsuccessfully trying to get your money back at the tattoo parlor ("But I don't even know anybody named Ruby!!!"), you and your friends wind up across the state line in a bar with guys who have been in prison as recently as...that morning. It's the kind of place where even the devil is going, "Uh, I gotta turn in. I gotta be in Hell- at nine. I've got that brunch with Hitler, I can't miss that." At this point, you're all drinking some kind of thick blue liquor, like something from a Klingon wedding. A waitress with fresh stitches comes over, and you think to yourself, "Someday I'm gonna marry that girl!!" One of your friends stands up and screams, "WE'RE DRIVIN' TO FLORIDA!!!!!"- and passes out. You crawl outside for air , and then you hit the worst part of level five- the sun. You weren't expecting that were you? You never do. You walk out of a bar in daylight, and you see people on their way to work, or jogging. And they look at you-and they know. And they say..."Who's Ruby?" Let's be honest, if you're 19 and you stay up all night, it's like a victory like you've beat the night, but if you're over 30, then that sun is like God's flashlight. We all say the same prayer then, "I swear, I will never do this again (how long?) .........as long as I live!"

And some of us have that little addition, "and this time, I mean it!"


Sound familiar???

[Starfish]

Never personally been to level 5...but 3 and 4 are way too familiar!

[The Dad Fisherman]

In my Navy days Level 5 was almost a Goal...

[fishaholic18]

OMG TDF, That was great, I've been to 5 more than a few times.
Got the tat to prove it, thank God it's my wifes name.

[crash]

I got out of college 2 years ago, level five was a weekly occurance. Luckilly no tatoos, but lots of bumps and bruises.

[Goose]

Theres more 5 you just don't remember.

[tattoobob]

I have been to 5 so many times I don't drink any more
and I am covered in tattoos

[Starfish]

Originally Posted by Goose

Theres more 5 you just don't remember.

Maybe level 5 is when I black out and don't remember anything...

[fishaholic18]

Originally Posted by Starfish

Maybe level 5 is when I black out and don't remember anything...

You better stay away from Clammer when that happens.

[Starfish]

Originally Posted by fishaholic18

You better stay away from Clammer when that happens.

Thats when I'm glad to have my husband with me...otherwise I could end up in another state or even in prison or with a prisoner...or worse...with Clammer!...jk

[bart]

does this sound like level 5?

you start the night or should i say late afternoon at a bar in allston because your girl is back home still and you have a couple hrs to kill. so you start with a couple jack and cokes, couple cape codders, few dollar beers. around 730 you get the call so you head to the nearest packy so you won't lose your buzz, buy a 20 pack and a 6 pack of pounders and head to the girl's house with your best bud mike. seeing how everyone in boston is on college kid time, you now have 2.5 hrs to kill before anyone is ready to go out which translates into pumping tunes and pounding brews. 10 rolls around and you're feeling pretty good, so you're girl convices you to take two shots of rum before heading out. and just for the heck of it you kill the last of their jug of carlo rossi. You jump in a cab(beer in hand of course, 10 minute ride into the city) and make your way to the foggy goggle(lamest bar in boston by far) and start a tab. first things first, you need a shot of jager and then the beers start flowing. From this point on things get a little foggy, hence the name of the bar. you end up in a fight with your girl because of jealousy issues aka her flirting and end up being thrown out of the bar for causing a scene. then things get interesting, tiles get punched off bathroom walls, bouncers almost get their faces kicked in (thats right) and you end the night(5 am) rolling around on the floor of your girl's roommate's bedroom, still double-fisting beers disheveled and emotional, with irrepairable damage done to your relationship. and to top it off you forgot your credit card at the foggy goggle and the nice people there decided to add an extra 20 on for good measure. you wake the next morning with that all too familiar feeling of drunken disgracefulness and think are there any beers left in that 20 pack? (not a chance)

[cheferson]

[Backbeach Jake]

You go to brush something from your sleeve , and it's the floor.

[seabass]

My head hurts just reading level 5, please pass the Alka-Seltzer.

[fishaholic18]

Years ago I think I passed level 5, don't remember much, woke up to a rooster crowing, I was laying accross a set of RR tracks in the pouring rain. My buddy was right next to me. Scary sh$t.

["uffah!!"]

Which does this cover, 1 or @ ?

[RickBomba]

Somebody says a certain somebody's got the express elevator from one to five...
MILO!!!
Later,
Rick

[Swimmer]

I remember some level 5's when I was single. Going all night with the same 5 guys. Playing golf or going fishing the next morning and then starting right in again on no sleep during my days off. I am glad I met Beverly. If I had 20 % of the money I blew on booze and br&$*s I never would have needed a mortgage.

[ThrowingTimber]

Bart, a good friend of mine works at the goggle. Were you there on a friday night? About 5'10" long dark straight hair, light eyes Colombian girl


You ever wake up in the woods face down in a pile of leaves one arm hugging a keg thats on its side? Luckily your phone is still in your pocket so you make a call dude come get me... where are you?? Dude I couldnt even begin to tell you... whered we go last night??? walked throught the woods til I found a mail box, and checked the address on a letter... Dude how'd you end up there no clue man come get me.. ok.


My buddy john puked on a cieling for his 21st. He's a pretty tall kid.

[Joe]

You decide to take a rowboat out to Dutch Island in the fog, against the tide, at 3:00 in the morning and end up getting clipped by a car carrier.

[ThrowingTimber]

Daytona spring break nickle drafts, its 2pm. You cant walk.

[ThrowingTimber]

The classic, my buddy boner passes out when he was about to take a leak. Pants at his ankles, wedding tackle in hand forhead on the top of the toilet seat, head tilted to the side drooling.... Yes we have pictures... we woke him up with smelling salts... that was funny

[Duke41]

you think that's what happened Joe?

[The Iceman 6]

If you dont remember, it didn't happen...