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RI Barbi
Mattel Toy Company has announced the release of models of limited editions Barbie Dolls made exclusively for the Rhode Island Market:
Barrington Barbie:
This spoiled Princess Barbie is sold exclusively at Talbot's. She comes with 45 credit cards, an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a white BMW, a fluffy white lapdog, and a perfect cookie cutter house. Options include tummy tuck, face lift and a workaholic Ken to support her high maintenance habits.
Cumberland Barbie:
This trendy homemaker Barbie is free with any new Kirkbrae Country Club Membership. Barbie comes equipped with a silver Lexus SUV. She gets lost easily outside of her $750,000 neighborhoods and has no full time occupation besides gazing at the lawn & amp; pool maintenance guys. Traffic jamming video cell phone sold separately.
East Side Barbie:
This annoying clueless NYC wannabe yuppie Barbie can be purchased on Thayer Street or through The Providence Phoenix Newspaper. Barbie comes with a souped up yellow Hummer 2, Starbucks Cup, and a library card.
North Providence Barbie:
This brassy, gum-chewing, jet black dyed puffy hair Barbie comes with a "2 sizes too small" leather miniskirt, unpedicured feet, sandals with 5 inch heels, 12 pieces of fake gold jewelry and a Chrysler 300 with a rosary looped around the rear view mirror. Can be purchased at any Italian store.
South Providence Barbie:
Available at Cumberland Farms between 9:00 am and noon the first day of the month only. This recently parolled Barbie comes
with 8 children, a slightly used 9 mm handgun, house arrest ankle bracelet, Ray Lewis knife, pager number of her caseworker and Cadillac with tinted windows & working methamphetamine lab. Options include specialized gang colors and the 8 fathers of the 8 children.
Burrillville Barbie:
Ain't got no stores in this area to buy it.....but, keep trying. This Barbie's father is also is her uncle and her uncle is also her cousin and her cousin is also her brother and her brother has a different father. She comes in Wrangler blue jeans, and a NASCAR T-Shirt. She can chug a six pack of Coors Light and spit tobacco. She drives a pickup truck with a Confederate Flag in the cap window. May also be labelled "Exeter Barbie."
Lincoln Barbie:
This Barbie is only sold door to door as an athletic fundraiser. Barbie comes with 3 different Sport Booster Club gear outfits.
Barbie can easily be turned into Soccer Mom, Football Mom or Hockey Mom. Lincoln Barbie shops daily and knows what everyone else in Lincoln is doing, how they do it, when they did it, where they did it, with whom they did it with and how much everything cost!
Central Falls Barbie:
This Barbie can be picked up on any street corner. Barbie comes with Barbie "Dream House" with no trash cans or closed windows.
House comes with constant blaring of Spanish music. This Barbie has 4 kids but doesn't know where any of them are, so you may have to purchase them separately. Also available with this model are Ken, Julio, Leon, and Manuel dolls, none of whom fathered any of the 4 kids.
East Greenwich Barbie:
This Barbie is only available at Providence Place Mall. This Barbie has a permanent cell phone attached to her ear and comes with a Ford Expedition or Chevy Suburban. EG Barbie spends most of her time driving her 3 kids and 2 dogs around. She does not stop at stop signs and believes that parking spaces are for someone else, but that handicapped parking spots were meant for her. EG Barbie also comes with workaholic Ken to pay for all her shopping.
Cranston Barbie:
This Barbie is the equally-clueless suburban version of East Side Barbie, and comes complete with an SUV that would be unaffordable without daddy's help, and a meaningles job obtained through daddy's connections. Cranston Barbie drives like EG Barbie but has a hand gesture option that makes cell-phone usage interesting. Is easily impressed by G.I. Joe, who she juggles with Career Ken
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