A Day at the Zoo.....

[freeballin]

It was a beautiful, warm spring morning. A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo. She was wearing a loose-fitting, pink dress - sleeveless with straps. He was wearing his usual jeans and T-shirt.

As they walked through the ape exhibit, they passed in front of a large, silverback gorilla. Noticing the wife, the gorilla went crazy.

He jumped on the bars, and holding on with one hand (and 2 feet), he grunted and pounded his chest with his free hand.

He was obviously excited at the pretty lady in the pink dress.

The husband, noticing the excitement, thought this was funny. He suggested that his wife tease the poor fellow some more by puckering her lips and wiggling her bottom. She played along and the gorilla got even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead.

Then the husband suggested that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin. She did, and the gorilla was about to tear the bars down.

"Now show your thighs and sort of fan your dress at him," he said.

This drove the gorilla absolutely crazy, and he started doing flips.

Then the husband grabbed his wife, ripped open the door to the cage, flung her in with the gorilla and slammed the cage door shut.

"Now, tell him you have a headache."

[Raven]

i love revenge jokes...

heres a true story or two.......though

i was at the sandiego zoo and cruising around seeing everything....

and we came to the chimpanzee exhibit....everyone was just sorta standing there staring with the apes just staring back.... rather boring really...
except for this one Miserable Mommy who was very upset at her kids
scolding them so severely and blatantly that well.... she was a real jerk..
she was ruining the whole thing for everyone ......even the chimps....
apparently
because very adeptly one big male slid his hand behind himself and
crapped into his hand.....ever so secretly.....but i was watching him...
suddenly he lets it fly with the coolest overhand pitch i ever saw....
the woman is still going off berating her son and daughter endlessly...
and that was his target...he hit her right in the side of the face....
BULLSEYE...and everyone broke out laughing and cheering to the apes
complete delight as the mean ole mommy started to cry... everyone
moved on.... having seen enough..... giggling away....
.................................................. .................................................. ......
on a personal note....i went to a local zoo and just couldn't wait to see the bengal tigers after watching a TV special on them ...i was like totally up for it.....so i went to the tiger exhibit first thing....and there's this tiger laying there against the chainlink fence...his/her back to me.... so i'm standing real close....and then it gets up and as its walking away from me...this absolutely HUGE stream of tiger PISS comes hurling my way ...a complete surprise and in Seconds i am literally soaked in tiger piss...and SOOO utterly
pissed off...that i'm lookin for the nearest rock to bean that s.o.b. right in the head....... awwwwf it was disgusting ..i kid you not.... and minutes later: i was headed home to shower......so... death to all tigers.... makem into rugs ...that will be just fine with me....