Asking for a little help please..

[Katie]

I am writing a list on why i should be allowed to drive.. I chose to do this, because i have tried to talk to my mom a few times, but been rather ignored.. I'm not really allowed to do anything, like have friends over or go hang out with friends.. I'm a very responsible, i get decent grades in school and i'm very mature.. And i have been told by both family, teachers and higher ranked staff at school that i am.

thing is.. i ran out of ideas after 8 of them.. so umm heres what i have so far..

If your feeling lazy that day, I could go run your errands for you
If your not feeling well
So you don't have to bring me everywhere
If Amy has another sleepover
Incase I get a job
When I go to college
It's a good oppurtunity for me to get out
So I can have a life of my own
So I can have some responsibility
I get decent grades
I'm very mature
I am very responsible


Any other ideas? Anything would be great, Thanks! Opinions are also welcome if you want..

[Goose]

I beleive you are walking distance from the ocean, are you shore you need a ride?

[Katie]

lmao, i'm thinking of the other things for once tony..

[Swimmer]

Katie ask you mother why it is she feels your not ready and using that information work towards the goal of getting your license.

[Jenn]

Katie, keep in mind too the cost of putting a new, young driver on the road is quite costly as well. Insurance, gas, drivers ed, etc. There could be many reasons why she doesnt want you to drive that you may not realize. You need to sit down with her....and dad....and have a heart to heart. Remember to listen as well as speak. Maybe you can come to some sort of agreement?


P.S. How is the guitar coming along??

[Slipknot]

A good reason would be so that you won't be getting rides with other kids driving, since you would be the one driving and I bet your mom would rather have you driving than a friend. Although I am not sure of how the law is written on who can be in the car when an under 18 driver is driving.
good luck, I am sure she has her reasons, try not to be too much of a rebel.

[Skip N]

Sooner or later you need to get your drivers license! You can;t function in this country without one in most cases. Whether you do it now or two years from now you need to get it. Why your mom won't allow you to drive is rather odd...does she expect you to walk and ride your bike until your 30?? She needs to realize that your of age and responsible. You'll never be a responsable driver unless you drive and gain experience

[Katie]

Money I can earn at a good speed.. And Skip, she has said to me that i'll be riding my bike until i'm 40, without cracking a smile, so i think she was serious about it... i've driven a car a little bit not not much, i backed it up and moved it and i did it on first try perfectly.. the law here is that you can't have anyone thats not family in the car for 6 months.. after 6 months you can drive anyone around, and you cant drive past 1am in the morning, which is fine with me.. and i was thinking now would be a good time for me to start because in less then 2 years pretty much i'll be starting college and i'm 100% sure i'll have a job, and i think she would or anyone would get pretty annoyed..


and Jenn, the guitar is going pretty good.. 3 days after i had it, i broke a string, i know it didnt take me long, but after i restrung it, i taught myself a part of the law and order theme.. i was so happy i played it for like 2 hours straight..

[striprman]

If you want to drive, you somehow have to pay, just a fact of life.

[justplugit]

Communication is the key. Sounds like You and your Mom have done well in your becoming a responsible person. Sit down , keep the emotion out, and LISTEN to her reasons. After you Fully understand her, tell her why you would like to start driving. In the end you should both have a better understanding of each others reasons. Just my 2 cents.

[Katie]

I have tried to talk to her multiple times, but whenever i bring it up, most times i'll be ignored.. but heres the list so far..

1. If your feeling lazy that day, I could go run your errands for you
2. If your not feeling well
3. So you don't have to bring me everywhere
4. If Amy has another sleepover
5. Incase I get a job
6. When I go to college
7. It's a good opportunity for me to get out
8. So I can have a life of my own
9. So I can have some responsibility
10. I get decent grades
11. I'm very mature
12. I am very responsible
13. I'd have more self confidence
14. For when dad and I go out and he's tired..
15. When dad's not around in the summer and you need a second vehicle with other stuff for the business, I can help
16. To get rid of me for the day if needed! [every parents wish, 20% of the time]
17. So I won't be catching rides with other kids, if i ever went to another competition
18. I'll never be a responsible driver unless I drive and gain experience

[tattoobob]

Just get a job and after 6 months she will be begging you to drive on your own. just having to drop you off and picking you up, it gets old real fast

[Slingah]

Originally Posted by Katie

Opinions are also welcome if you want..

I think 16 is too young for driving...not sure of your age Katie...but a job is probally needed first and drivers ed...cars, gas and insurance are outragous

[The Dad Fisherman]

These are my recommendations for a little help

1. If your feeling lazy that day, I could go run your errands for you (Don't use the word "Lazy" if my kids started the argument off w/ calling me lazy that would probably be the end of the discussion)
2. If your not feeling well
3. So you don't have to bring me everywhere
4. If Amy has another sleepover (Lose This one, Parents don't want to here that you want your license so you can sleep somewhere else that night)
5. In case I get a job (Get the Job and show them that you are ready to take on the financial resposibilty of driving a vehicle)
6. When I go to college (Lose this, moot point, when you go to college you'll be old enough to sign for your license yourself)
7. It's a good opportunity for me to get out (and do what???, list some reasons you need to do this)
8. So I can have a life of my own (Lose this, this can sound like an attitude thing, I can almost picture MY daughter with her hands on her hips saying it to me)
9. So I can have some responsibility (I'd reword this to "I've shown I can be a responsible and mature person and then list out some actual instances that you have done so. I would make sure to mention how you handled that kid at school, because that was a great example of maturity and responsibility)
10. I get decent grades (thats a Keepah!!)
11. I'm very mature (lose this as you are addressing it in 9)
12. I am very responsible (Again, lose this as you are addressing it in 9)
13. I'd have more self confidence
14. For when dad and I go out and he's tired..
15. When dad's not around in the summer and you need a second vehicle with other stuff for the business, I can help
16. To get rid of me for the day if needed! [every parents wish, 20% of the time] (lose this, just not a valid argument)
17. So I won't be catching rides with other kids, if i ever went to another competition
18. I'll never be a responsible driver unless I drive and gain experience.

Make sure you spend the absolute most time on listing out examples of how you've shown your maturity and how resposible you've been in the past, the more examples the better your chances. Also make sure you let them know that you want them to be part of the process and you want them to help you so you learn how to do it right.


If it makes you feel any better, My parents wouldn't sign for my license when I was a kid and I was pissed, had to wait until I was 18 to sign for it myself. But now in Hindsight.....They were right.

[Katie]

thanks very much, deffinitly will rewrite those.. and i do get the points of the attitude part, i might not have one, but i may sound like it when they read it..



-6:02pm- i rewrote everything, and tdf, you were right on, its a lot better and you hit the points right on the nose..! now i just have to figure out a good time for me to show it to her..

[Raven]

with all of tdf's comments
but mostly tattoo Bobs
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
plan B
I'd forget the whole
declaration
of responsibility...
(i'm an angel)
gig...blah blah...k
exit stage left..... lol


it's much better to do .....than say....
and let your actions speak
louder than all those
words (even if they are true)
1.
go get the job (first = best reason)
so that you pay for everything...too

car insurance, and car ,gas,,ect.
2. then take a driving safety
course and earn a certificate
of completion so your proven responsible
behind the wheel by a professional
instructer so there's absolutely no doubt.
---------------------------------------------------------------
and then i want you to learn/remember
two things about driving.

1.) brakes perform a negative function
and you should use a lack of acceleration
to act "as your brake" to drive safely/economically.

the reason why is....you'll get in the bad habbit
of bombing around at light speed to save time
(as you PERFECT your driving skills.....)
because
you have such good brakes
...until the day
they fail........
and in that scenario ...you crash...period.

and secondly... 2.) what ever speed
your car is going down the road ok...
40,50, 60, 70 , 80 mph

your body
is also traveling at that speed
never forget that.....ever.

so if you get flung out a broken window
after the car is rolling over and over
or flipping end over end

your gonna keep on traveling
down the road... regardless of
who is/was origionally
behind the wheel.

so please....katie
dont learn this
->the hard way.

[spence]

The Raven speaks the truth.

I'd keep the debate simple, focus on 2 or 3 key themes that are nearly impossible to counter.

Give her a list and it's easy to choose the weakest item and nuke it!

-spence

[Katie]

I start work today.. and I did sit down with my mom, and she did listen.. And my dad is willing to take me for my permit, but my mom wants it to be at the right time, and i can understand that. I have turned around remarkably with helping with anything i can do. So i think this doing really good, and communication is the biggest part of this..

[Flaptail]

Mothers are never ready for thier kids to get a license. My wife is absolutely awful when it comes to that. She couldn't take my daughter out to drive when she had her learners permit or even ride in the car when I went with my daughter for a lesson from ol' Pop.
She has a wicked phobia even though my dughter drives better than her and now has a car of her own which I bought her last month.

Katie, sign up at school for your road lessons after you get your learners permit, Mother or not. She has to be forced into it and accept it. She sounds pretty strict, that is probably because she loves you very much but, like my wife, can be overly protective. Someday you might be a parent. It's hard letting go, even for Dads but we seem to be more understanding of that fact and more stoic when it comes time to actually cut the strings.

Go for it!

[Jimbo]

Katie, as the father of an honest, smart, hardworking 16 year old daughter with a permit I can tell you it was a huge deal for me. All I could think about was her getting into an accident. In NJ you can take a test at the DMV (not sure what it's called), and if you pass, you need to get an accredited driver training instructor who you drive with for a certain number of hours and after that you get a permit. You have the permit for an entire year before you can take the driving test to get a Cinderella License which let's you drive alone until 18 I think, but with it has number of restrictions about who you can drive, when, where, etc. In addition she's taking the classroom Driver's Ed at school. Hasn't driven my truck yet, but I've been in the car when she's driven her mother's and I have to say she does OK and I'm more at ease over it now. It's a big hurdle to get over for some parents.
Your mother might be more open to the idea if she knew you were planning on taking advantage of a driver training/safety program. Also, find out at what age you will actually be allowed behind the wheel by yourself. Maybe see if she'd agree to you two writing up a contract of some sort so she knows you won't be even thinking of drinking while driving, or racing, or ever behaving recklessly behind the wheel. Sometimes if you hit them with unquestioinable logic they can't help but say yes. I think in my case one of the biggest things is that my daughter will be doing a whole lot of supervised driving long before she gets out on the road by herself.

[Saltheart]

I want to see your mother's list of why nots!! She may have a better case than you??

[Katie]

I just got back from work.. i got a job application for another job, cause i'm not going to be able to keep up with the landscaping with my knee.. but today wasnt bad at all..
i do get why this would be a huge deal for the parents, no doubt.. and saltheart, i'd like to see it too, but shes gonna bring up the expenses mostly.. but i won't ask that cause then i'll get skinned alive almost..

[Katie]

I'm going for my permit friday! hehe thanks so much for the help guys!