Loosing my mind or

[Got Stripers]

what little is left of it. My 16 year old took my wife's van for a joy ride early this am, totaled it, operated on to relocate a hip and my nightmarish ride continues. I want a ride on the kiddie ride now, I'm not holding up well on this E ticket ride and want off.

Any insurance on the van, sure if I want to report it stolen and have him charged with a felony. After the crap he has put us through these past couple years, I'm so very tempted to do just that and make him pay the piper. But it's only worth $6,000 and it's likely going to make it worse.

Well I'm back to the hospital now to visit, my mood is like the weather and getting darker.

[The Iceman 6]

GS, sorry to hear it, thanfuly your child is all right, let him heal then you get to him. Guess w/a 15 month old daughter and another one on way this is the stuff I get to look forward to. Makes me wonder how my dad dealt w/3 boys and a girl, the things we put him through. As a parent, I do have a new found respect for my parents and my dad tells me payback is a bitch....


Ice

[Goose]

Hang in there Bob. Tough times don't last, tough people do.

[fishweewee]

Hang in there Bob!

-Ben

[UserRemoved1]

Hope things go better Bob, maybe this will open his eyes.

Know what i'd do? I make him WORK it off and tell him if he doesn't then file the charges. Either way I think if he's got any kind of head on his shoulders he'll smarten up.

Peace dude.

[STEVE IN MASS]

Aw, Bob, buddy, I am so sorry to hear that....

And I know you're pissed.....he has given you more nightmares than you ever deserve, and now this......

Just be thankful it wasn't even worse, and try to hang tough.

I really don't know what else to say..., other than I hope things turn around for you.....

[Mike P]

Sorry to hear it, Bob. Hope everything turns out OK.

Does Mass. have a less serious (non-felony) joyriding law, like NY does? Maybe you could file under that law, hold it over his head to make him work it off, and withdraw charges down the road if he shapes up. I know the last thing you need right now is more expense, but if you could find a lawyer who has a good working relationship with the local prosecutor, they might be able to arrange a "scared straight" kind of deal. You file a complaint, he spends a night in the local lock-up, gets a tongue lashing from the judge the next day, released to your custody under a strict curfew, and down the road the charges get filed without a finding. Maybe this was a wake-up call and all of that won't be necessary---hope so.

[JohnR]

GS - wish I knew what to tell you other than its good he survived and no one else got seriously hurt.

I like the advice by Mike P and #^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&. If the Scared Crappless doesn't work from this incident, you may want to grease his skids for getting his own place when he turns 18. Nothing will turn someone around quicker than getting thwacked for not paying rent...

Hope things get better for you. Check the insurance laws.

[Clammer]

BOB, sorry to hear it /youv,e had your share of crap from him, I,m glad hes ok / but wev,e talked & we know whats happing to your family//
Hang in there
PS I<m around////////////////////

[Got Stripers]

Thanks for the support, any good juvenal attourney's or insurance guys in the crowd. Son I believe is protecting, although this is yet to be confirmed, the actual driver and although he won't give up the name, he claims there were others in the van. What I find sad is that these so called "friends" bolted to save their butts and left him to drag himself out of the van and deal with the police. Or he's pulling my leg, while too doped and dazed to make sense. He's lucky to be alive after seeing the van this morning, I'll be getting a picture to blow up for his room. If I make it to the summer with my sanity in tack I'll consider myself lucky.

[milo]

Sorry to hear that Bob,but he must be held accountable for his actions,not pressing charges but making him work and pay for the car..good luck bud and stay positive

[LINESIDES]

Hi Bob,
Try this! More parents go through this, than most people think. Including myself. They just don’t talk about it. I think you will find that a lot of kids go through this at this age. I have had to pull my twins out of jail several times in the past at this age. It isn’t easy. They are in there thirties now, and they are the greatest responsible kids now. But it was a bumpy at sixteen. I used those opportunity to try and bridge the gap. They are easier to penetrate, more susceptible, and listen better when they are in this position.
”In the wrong.”
Believe me he clearly knows what he has done, and he is more than likely to fear his parents wrath, than any thing at this point. The alternative is wonderful “you still have him!” Some folks don’t get them back from this ride. You have been clearly blessed. We have three sets of parents out my way, that my youngest son went to school with, that didn’t return from their rides. All of their ages were about the same.
Speak softly Bob!
Later, l.t.

[RickBomba]

Keep yer chin up Bob,
My brother and I put my parents through a lot at this age (luckily for me, more him than me). Fifteen years later, we're all closer than we ever were.
Mike has two masters degrees and is an adjustment counselor for troubled kids (go figure). Me, I do ok too.
After my experience this week, I'm sure you'll agree with me that your health is the most important thing you can have.
Talk to you soon,
Rick

[Slipknot]

Very Sorry to read this Bob. Thank God he isn't seriously hurt or worse. I hope he realizes that also and can come to grips with his poor choices and turn a new leaf. Do your best to make the right decisions at this time for whatever path you take. You know what I think about it all.
Hopefully your youngest will not go the same route as his older brother.
It sure isn't easy being a parent and days like this, you will need all your courage. Godspeed!

[jettyjockey18]

sorry to hear about your son...

i'm reluctant to post this, but i'd have him arrested...from what you've described in previous posts, your son seems to be on a one-way patch to self-destruction, despite your best efforts...i feel for your, but what if your son hadn't totalled the van on a tree but on some family's minivan?? i can hear it now...i'm sorry, we were just goofing off, i didn't mean to kill your 5 year old son/daughter...the excuses ring hollow after a while...

i wish there was an easy solution to the problem, but if there was i'm sure you would have found it by now...good luck...

[Homerun04]

That which doesn't kill us only makes us stronger..........

Keep a running total of all the bills you pay for him. Present the bill to him on his 18th birthday. He can pay up or leave, or reform his ways.....the choice is his.......good luck......

[Drew]

I wish I had some ray of sunshine to offer you, but the best I can muster is my heratfelt best wishes. I've gotta fly out to California on Tuesday and then do the family Easter vacation from hell in Pittsburgh as soon as I get back, but I'll try to make some calls if you need a referral to a local attorney. Give me a shout Monday morning if I can help in any way. Hang in there, bud.

[Strippedgear]

Hi Bob,

I am so sorry for your TEEN PROBLEMS. Thankfully he is still alive to someday express his regrets to you and your spouse.

We raised 4 sons and a daughter. My oldest son also smashed and totaled my wife's restored 65 Mustang but he walked away unhurt. Right then and there we made up our minds that our kids would no longer drive our vehicles after they got their license. If they wanted to drive they were to get a job and purchase their own car and insurance In this way we would not be liable for any damage to people or property caused by their carelessness. This decision saved us because 3 out of my 4 sons crashed their cars causing both property and personal damge to others as well as to themselves. Fortunately none of these were fatal.

Hang in there, there is light at the end of the tunnel and hopefully your son will be there too.

Best wishes.
Strippedgear,aka, Bob

[TheSpecialist]

Bob sorry to hear what happened. I hope things work out for the better. I won't offer any advice, just offer my help if you need it.

[Canalratt1]

Hang in there Bob, hopefully he'll learn his lesson soon.

[fishsmith]

Bob you may want to point him towrd the military, you can even sign a waiver to get him in younger. 24 x 7 discipline and you can come out with a life long skill. Being in a war right now certainly makes this less attractive, but the Navy in my opinoin is the safest place to be during war.
Whatever happens keep trying to talk to the kid.
My boys are 2 and 4 and it seems the saying "small kids = small problems" rings true again.

Good Luck and go fishing.

[chris L]

Bob
Sorry to hear about your son , glad hes alive and no one else injured . I could write a book on trouble teens will get into and the reasons for . I totaled my Moms car at 17 then the following month I enrolled in the Army . There are lots of options and only you and your wife can decide that . Dont have him arrested it will only make things worse for your son and your relationship . Make him pay and pay dearly . Good luck !

[Gloucester2]

Bob - I'm not a lawyer - but to the extent that the police are LETTING you make the decision - sends a clear message that they think you should deal with this within your household . . . from what you posted I'm amazed they did this - sounds like they cut him a HUGE break. Take advantage of it. A felony on his record - even as a juvinile - will follow him forever. Ever looked at a job application, student aid application, military apllication, etc, etc - they all ask the question and it ain't out of curiosity . . .

Sounds like there is a real history here - only words of wisdom are someone else's . . . "This too, shall pass"

Best of luck.

PS Caught a 28 lb slob cod yesterday on the green split tail rubba I picked up at MSBA Show. I'll post a picture tonight.

[Saltheart]

Sorry to hear about the hard time you are having GS. I would think getting hurt like that will taech him some kind of lesson. We can only hope it prevents something worse from happening in the future.

[Fisherwoman]

Hey GS, sorry to hear the news, but glad he is going to be OK, and I hope he realizes how lucky he is. This was definatley his wake up call. I hope he takes note of it. Well hang in there bud, if you need anything give us a call anytime!!!

[Mr. Sandman]

Oh my God! What a story. Hang in there...He will be 18 soon.