3 Wishes - Striper Talk Striped Bass Fishing, Surfcasting, Boating

freeballin · 09-14-2005, 08:26 PM

The Three Wishes

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit a ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention the condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!" The woman said, "That's okay."

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to." The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, KAZAM -- she's the most beautiful woman in the world.

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you. " The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, KAZAM -- she's the richest woman in the world.

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Attention male readers: Please read on.

The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.

Moral of the story: Women think they're really smart. Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.

afterhours · 09-14-2005, 08:28 PM

lol

BigFish · 09-14-2005, 09:01 PM

Bass Babe · 09-15-2005, 12:44 AM

Shame on the original joke and shame on the new spin. Killing husbands and stupid women jokes...ick on both counts.

I suppose I was my high school valedictorian and graduated summa cum laude from college because men were allowing me to think I was smart? Really, alot of female-bashing jokes out there are pretty darn funny, like "What do you do when the dishwasher stops working? Smack her and tell her to get back to work," and I am by no means a feminist, but that rubbed me entirely the wrong way. And even if some women are dumb broads, they're the dumb broads that wash your clothes and pop out your kids and get you turkey pot pies, so I wouldn't complain.

NaCl H2O · 09-16-2005, 10:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bass Babe

Shame on the original joke and shame on the new spin. Killing husbands and stupid women jokes...ick on both counts.

I suppose I was my high school valedictorian and graduated summa cum laude from college because men were allowing me to think I was smart? Really, alot of female-bashing jokes out there are pretty darn funny, like "What do you do when the dishwasher stops working? Smack her and tell her to get back to work," and I am by no means a feminist, but that rubbed me entirely the wrong way. And even if some women are dumb broads, they're the dumb broads that wash your clothes and pop out your kids and get you turkey pot pies, so I wouldn't complain.

So you're NOT a blonde? *wink*

Jimbo · 09-16-2005, 02:59 PM

BassBabe it would appear to me from your response above that you do not like short stories where there is not a happy ending for the female protagonist. I'd like to think this is fiction, but I suppose it could also be titled, "Whatever Happened To Rappin' Mikey". Hope you enjoy it.

A couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.
So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."
Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.
"I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face. I'm going to have a beer."
The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.
The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop.... but at the bar, you know... they have frozen glasses... "
He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious...I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise...OK?"
"You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and pork strips.
"But my sweet honey...at the bar....you know, there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."
"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? "LISTEN UP KNUCKLEHEAD! SIT DOWN AND
SHUT THE HECK UP, DRINK YOUR DAMN BEER IN YOUR DAMN FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR FRICKING HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED A$$ ISN'T GOING TO A FRICKING BAR! THAT STUFF'S OVER FOR YOU... GOT IT, A-HOLE?" And, they lived happily ever after. Isn't that a sweet story?

Bass Babe · 09-16-2005, 03:19 PM

Jimbo --

Sucks to be Rappin Mikey, I guess. Someone put me out of my misery if I ever call someone Poochy Poo and forbid him from going somewhere (unless it's a titty bar without me or a third-world country where he plans on drinking the water or something). I don't have an issue with the chick in the first story getting screwed. I just don't feel like I, along with many other women, are dumb and meanspirited. Overreaction? Yes, perhaps. But I stick by my opinion. It just skeeved me out that someone would find that funny and/or true enough to post here, where there tends to be quite a bit of tolerance and friendliness. I was surprised.

The Dad Fisherman · 09-16-2005, 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bass Babe

there tends to be quite a bit of tolerance and friendliness.

Wow, you weren't on this board before the election, were you.

The Iceman 6 · 09-16-2005, 03:31 PM

"That just about covers the flybys" You guys got the number of that truck driving school?

Nebe · 09-16-2005, 05:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Dad Fisherman

Wow, you weren't on this board before the election, were you.

damn straight..

see signature below

fishaholic18 · 09-16-2005, 05:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nebe

damn straight..

see signature below

But he's SORRY Eben.

Nebe · 09-16-2005, 05:41 PM

i'll give him that, and i must say i am impressed that he has stepped up to the plate with his plans for a noble reconstuction. maybe this will give him a domestic focus and stop nation building.

i'm willing to give him a chance on this one..Katrina was horrible and effected millions including some family members of this board, lets hope he pulls through and does the right things for the right people.

afterhours · 09-16-2005, 07:13 PM

ok- who's using ebens' computer?

Nebe · 09-16-2005, 07:20 PM

Hey look i dont hate the guy. O.k. maybe a little, but if he does have half a brain he will use this disaster to rescue his legacy, or at least do enough to leave one positive page in a chapter of ineptitude.

NaCl H2O · 09-16-2005, 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nebe

Hey look i dont hate the guy. O.k. maybe a little, but if he does have half a brain he will use this disaster to rescue his legacy, or at least do enough to leave one positive page in a chapter of ineptitude.

LMAO....