Another candidate for Idiot of the Year. - Striper Talk Striped Bass Fishing, Surfcasting, Boating

freeballin · 03-08-2006, 09:21 PM

This sounds so familiar. I love doing the same thing to these kids with the gold $1.00 coins.

The $2 Bill. Everyone should start carrying them!

I am STILL laughing!! Many of today's youth are terribly challenged without a computer to tell them what to do!! The story is funny. Lack of education is not funny!!

On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat.
In my billfold are a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about anyone getting irritated at me for trying to break a $50 bill.

Me: "Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go."

Server: "That'll be $1.04. Eat in?"

Me: "No, it's to go." At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny.

Server: "Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back."
He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot. The following conversation occurs between the two of them: Server: "Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?" Manager: "No. A what?"
Server: "A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me."
Manager: "Ask for something else There's no such thing as a $2 bill."
Server: "Yeah, thought so"

He comes back to me and says, "We don't take these. Do you have anything else?"

Me: "Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?"

Server: "I don't know."

Me: "See here where it says legal tender?"

Server: "Yeah."

Me: "So, why won't you take it?"

Server: "Well, hang on a sec."

He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I'm a shoplifter, and says to him, "He says I have to take it."

Manager: "Doesn't he have anything else?"

Server: "Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change "

Manager: "I'm not opening the safe with him in here."

Server: "What should I do?"

Manager: "Tell him to come back later when he has real money."

Server: "I can't tell him that! You tell him."

Manager: "Just tell him."

Server: "No way! This is weird. I'm going in back."

The manager approaches me and says, "I'm sorry, but we don't take big bills this time of night."

Me: "It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar bill."

Manager: "We don't take those, either."

Me: "Why not?"

Manager: "I think you know why."

Me: "No really, tell me why."

Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."

Me: "Excuse me?"

Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."

Me: "What on earth for?"

Manager: "Please, sir."

Me: "Uh, go ahead, call them."

Manager: "Would you please just leave?"

Me: "No."

Manager: "Fine -- have it your way then."

Me: "Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?"

At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in.

Guard: "Yeah, Mike, what's up?"

Manager (whispering): "This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money."

Guard: "No kidding! What?"

Manager: "Get this . a two dollar bill."

Guard (incredulous): "Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?"

Manager: "I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty."

Guard: "Oh, so the fifty's fake!"

Manager: "No, the two dollar bill is."

Guard: "Why would he fake a two dollar bill?"

Manager: "I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?"

Guard: "Yeah."

Security Guard walks over to me and......

Guard: "Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use"

Me: "Uh, no."

Guard: "Lemme see 'em."

Me: "Why?"

Guard: "Do you want me to get the cops in here?"

At this point I am ready to say, "Sure, please!" but I want to eat, so I say "I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill.

I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I'm taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and says, Hey, Mike, what's wrong with this bill?"

Manager: "It's fake."

Guard: "It doesn't look fake to me."

Manager: "But it's a two dollar bill."

Guard: "Yeah?"

Manager: "Well, there's no such thing, is there?"

The security guard and I both look at him like he's an idiot, and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue.

So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.

Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of people, I could probably end up in jail. You get free food there, too!

Slingah · 03-08-2006, 09:32 PM

thank you for that.....what an idiot

pete santini · 03-08-2006, 09:45 PM

answer me this question when the guy turned sideways could you see daylight through his ears.

basswipe · 03-08-2006, 09:46 PM

It works with .50cent coins too.

Mike P · 03-08-2006, 09:46 PM

Probably had no clue who the guy on the front of the bill was, either

"Wait a second, Jefferson, wasn't he the Confederate president? This must be Confederate money".

That assumes he would know what the Confederacy was, tho

eastendlu · 03-08-2006, 09:50 PM

Dam i could probably sell that guy a bridge in brooklyn.

BigFish · 03-08-2006, 10:11 PM

Problem is there are too many damn stupid people just like those idiots!!!!!!!!!!

Uncle Matt · 03-08-2006, 11:13 PM

I responded to a local Walmart to take a report. One of their cashiers, accepted seven counterfeit $100 bills at the register for goods bought. I looked at the money and nearly laughed. The bills were a cross between Monopoly money and real money. The bills were practivcally see through. And no, she was not involved. She was a college student who only worked there part time.

Goes to prove you never know.

afterhours · 03-09-2006, 07:21 AM

the moron majority growing at an alarming rate.

Pete_G · 03-09-2006, 08:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Uncle Matt

Goes to prove you never know.

There were fake 50's and 100's drifting around Aquidneck Island recently too. I know of several businesses that weren't even accepting them for about a week. It does happen.

Raven · 03-09-2006, 09:25 AM

about this gas station attendant...

that accepted a 22 dollar bill from a guy that bought exactly $22.00
dollars worth of gas... and then said: thankyou !

apparently it was a two dollar bill with two 2's glued on to it.....

but hey! that was a great story....

makes me wanna go ask my bank if they have any two dollar bills now.

The Dad Fisherman · 03-09-2006, 09:40 AM

I'm going to start carrying a bunch now and see what happens

MakoMike · 03-09-2006, 11:22 AM

Too funny! Too bad I don't eat at fast food places, I'd be heading to the bank for a load of $2 bills.

Swimmer · 03-09-2006, 11:42 AM

Would have been a great Abbot & Costello routine.

Slammer223 · 03-09-2006, 04:14 PM

How about when you buy $14.11 worth of stuff,give him a twenty,he rings it up,sees how much change to give you,but then you hand him a dime and a penny you just found in your pocket.The look on the imbecile's face is PRICELESS.Like you just asked him to translate The Dead Sea Scrolls.

Diamond Tackle · 03-09-2006, 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Slammer223

How about when you buy $14.11 worth of stuff,give him a twenty,he rings it up,sees how much change to give you,but then you hand him a dime and a penny you just found in your pocket.The look on the imbecile's face is PRICELESS.Like you just asked him to translate The Dead Sea Scrolls.

This happens to me ALL the time in NJ, one guy (a surfer dude) at a Card store had to call HIS MANAGER over, as if I had just tried to scam him or something. I almost burst out laughing at him. What are they teaching these kids in school ??

Freeballin, thats a Classic. Im gonna dig out my $2 bills and try that one myslelf just for some laughs.

Backbeach Jake · 03-09-2006, 05:31 PM

ANd to think that I used to spend those at the track window. I coulda had some real entertainment! What an ass-hat.

Skitterpop · 03-09-2006, 06:13 PM

sok · 03-09-2006, 09:50 PM

I know a place that ONLY gives change in two dollar bills.
A fine establishment off exit 10 Maine Turnpike.
Riverside Street. They used to have a coffee shop.
Used to be exit 10.
Did my good deed by helping some nice girls pay for college too.

Some of the people I see working behind cash registers anywhere?
I'm amazed they can even remember how to find their way back to work every day.

tattoobob · 03-09-2006, 10:07 PM

Thats a great story and to think those guys are going to mate and have little Morons of there own. thats why they are working fast food and not a real job.

Pete_G · 03-09-2006, 10:41 PM

The issue with cashiers and change is simply an age thing. Unless we ban calculators and computers or seriously overhaul the education system it's not going to change. At 28 years old I'm right at the edge of it. I rarely have a reason to do math in my head or on paper. I can't remember when I didn't have my own computer. Calculators are everywhere there's a cellphone or a Blackberry. I'm not going to do math manually if I don't have to, it's just a waste of time imo. MS Money balances my checkbook. Convert metric to standard? www.onlineconversion.com Pay with cash? I just use my checkcard. Cash money might be obsolete sooner rather then later as online banking and e-commerce continue to develop.

Kids just grow up with so much electronics these days math skills just aren't used that often. Of course these same math weak but computer saavy kids make can make serious money with the math they can make computers do so it all balances out. Of course, some of the fast food rejects can't do either. They're in BIG trouble...

Surfcastinglife · 03-09-2006, 11:48 PM

that's a really good one

made my night. time to start carrying $2 bills

Skitterpop · 03-10-2006, 12:12 AM

I`m an old bastage now but the clubs I used to visit on a rare ocassion would give change in two dollar bills always when they could... this way you weren`t popping ones into house G strings unless you brought a pile with you.

uhhmmmm g strings

Hooper · 03-10-2006, 12:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Indanite

I`m an old bastage now but the clubs I used to visit on a rare ocassion would give change in two dollar bills always when they could... this way you weren`t popping ones into house G strings unless you brought a pile with you.

uhhmmmm g strings

I used to go out of my way to get a handful of $2 bills before going to a strip bar because in the dim lighting while propped up on the edge of the dance floor the dancers think they're $20's and get all over ya!

eastendlu · 03-10-2006, 08:11 AM

Man if it was that dark in there them must of been some ugly chicks dancing.

Hooper · 03-10-2006, 09:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eastendlu

Man if it was that dark in there them must of been some ugly chicks dancing.

You've got that right!

Mike P · 03-10-2006, 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pete_G

The issue with cashiers and change is simply an age thing. Unless we ban calculators and computers or seriously overhaul the education system it's not going to change.

Bingo. The register tells them how much change to give. When you throw in the 11 cents after they're rung up that you gave 'em a 20, then they have to think for themselves

The Iceman 6 · 03-10-2006, 01:45 PM

Great story, what an idiot...

boot man · 03-11-2006, 10:13 AM

How much fun can you have with Susan B Anthony dollars?

Slammer223 · 03-11-2006, 11:06 PM

The clowns would think the Susan B Anthony dollars are quarters!