Old people,fishing and patience.

[Mr. Sandman]

Grandma and "Pop-Pop" (my in-laws) are visiting with us for 10 days. They are escaping the 97 deg heat of the sunshine state and residing with us on MV to visit their daughter and see the grandkids. They like to catch fish and eat fish and get a kick out of eating the fish they just caught the same day. They are good people with strong values but stuck in their ways and don't understand current thinking on many subjects. I no longer try to educate them. I just move on with my own life.

They have been coming up almost every summer for a week or so. I don't mind them but they like most people their age have their way of doing things that may differ from the way I do things. At this point in my life I just step aside and and try to keep my big mouth shut. Sometimes I slip up but I try.

My wife wants me to take them fishing a few times while they are here. (I just wanted to move on to the boat until they left) Every year I have taken them out generally to do some bottom fishing in the sound on a calm day. They've caught the mix bag of fluke, seabass, scup etc each time and we generally cook them up for them that evening. It is a full day. A lot of work for me but it makes them happy and most important it makes my wife happy...which in turn makes my life better. (esp when I want to have a buddy(s) come and stay with me to fish like maniacs for few weeks during the fall.

As my in-laws have aged, they have become less stable each visit and I have had to tone down the intensity of our trips. A few years ago when he was in his late 70's I ran my father in law out to the hooter on a calm morning and we got into albies, bones, bluefish and the trip was capped off with a 40# sbft on a bonito rod which to this day he is still talking about it.

A trip like that is impossible now. He/she could easily fall and break something. Just getting them onboard is an issue. I put some heavy deck chairs down for them and moved the boat away from my regular slip (which requires climbing down a ladder to board) to a town dock that had a level access point. After getting them on board we made out way out to the sound on a flat calm day. We fished till 4 and I think they each used the head 2X. Getting them down the steps and explaining the use of the facilities each time, is always a challenge. We caught a lot of short fish which we thru back. Grandma told me that I seemed to be tossing her fish back while keeping other peoples fish. I assured her that it was not personal that we threw these back because they were too small. She continued to press me about throwing back her fish and what is the point of fishing if you throw them back? I went through the explanation of why we put back fish and she continued....no one will know. Just put it in the cooler. I said firmly...I will know and put back the barely 16" fluke to swim another day. It was a long day for the captain.

My planned canyon trip was cancelled because of the changes in predicted weather but I said I could take them out in the morning to catch some bluefish if they wanted. Pop-Pop loves bluefish, I think it brings back a lot of memories for him catching bluefish back in the day. So I told him when I was getting my coffee that if we leave now we can be back before lunch. He got grandma ready and we tossed a few light trolling rods in the car (and I brought along the go-pro camera for laughs later) and we went thru the boarding drill again. I dropped them off at the landing and I headed over to the boat and loaded the chairs and gear and brought the boat over to them. Just then my wife called and said she would like to go too and could I wait 30 min....sure wth. we can wait. An hour later she shows up and we leave the harbor for horseshoe shoals in search of the yellow eye'd devils. We get out there and it is choppy...blowing 15 or so and we start catching bluefish and seabass on the troll. I am tossing them all back. Grandma is confused. She asks...are these too small? No, actually there is no size limit on bluefish, these are about 6-7# or so. Why are you throwing them back??? I have no need for a lot of bluefish. Do what to take them? I ask... "Why do you catch fish if you just throw them back, I do not understand this".... I walk though the explanations again...
It is a bit rocking for them. Why is the boat rocking? It wasn't rocking when we left the marina? I press on. Again, the head gets used a few times and the wind is freshening still. It gets up to about 20 and the tide changes. Now we have a wind against the tide and whitecaps are everywhere. I tell my wife...pack it up we are heading back and the ride will be slower and a bit bumpy going back but it will not be that bad but they could get a little wet if they say back there and they should come in the pilot house and have a seat.
Just then the VHF radio which has a cockpit speaker kicks in...USCG reports a boat overturns and 2 people are in the water. Grandma begins to get animated and worried. Well, it is many miles from where we are and I can not help effectively, it is just a heads up announcement...but the questions keep on coming and were overwhelming. I turn the radio off. I can not help they are too far away and I have my own set of issues I am dealing with.

I turned down sea for a min to let them move about safely and I got them both in the pilothouse before we did a 180 and we beat our way back directly into a 3-4' sloppy nantucket sound(it really wasn't that bad (we are in a 32' boat)... but for them it was huge) they made lots of sounds as we came off a wave now and again (wooooooh!). I slowed down to 13 just not pound at all . we arrived back without issue. I dropped them off and docked the boat and met up with them at the house. It seemed like a huge trip and I was beat. I have been on canyon trips that did not take this much out of me.
That evening we watched the cockpit video from the gopro on the big screen and grandma said she felt seasick watching the video in the living room. At that point, I retired to bed and began a re-read the book in my nightstand 97 miles south.
My wife walks in and says...wow that was quite a day huh?
Yeah...quite a day.

The derby is in a couple weeks, it will be my turn to fish soon.

[PRBuzz]

Bet you can't wait until next year!
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device

[Swimmer]

The man will reward you Jim. The derby makes everything better.
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device

[Sea Dangles]

Good man!
You will have no regrets whatsoever.
Not many years of adventure left but you provided just that.

[Guppy]

Your a good man MrSandman

Got me thinking about my father and regrettably not taking him on a few of the occasions when he asked. If anyone loved to fish, it was this guy,,,, was still up for it in his late 80s,,, this might even have been early 90s

tin boat, east bar,,, with a some help of course
Gramps fish 008.jpg

[justplugit]

Originally Posted by Sea Dangles

Good man!
You will have no regrets whatsoever.
Not many years of adventure left but you provided just that.

Yes , Good Man and very good job under trying conditions..

[Roger]

Nice story: visitors don't usually appreciate how much effort it is to host a trip on the water.

FWIW, when relatives don't understand fishing "catch and release", I compare it to bowling. The conversation usually goes like this:

[mom]: I don't understand why you fish for fish that you don't plan to keep and eat. It seems like a waste of time.

[me]: Hey mom, have you ever gone bowling?

[mom]: Sure I have, I was pretty good too. One time...(long story about one of her better strings)

[me]: Did they let you keep the pins?

[mom]: (just looks at me and doesn't bring up C&R again)

[numbskull]

Sounds better than a day fishing with Sauerkraut

[onecastmike2003]

your making me cry lol

[bucko]

Today I visited a couple of my 90+ year old aunts in a Nursing home. Aging is not an easy process. I'm sure your wife appreciates your efforts.

[piemma]

Originally Posted by Roger

Nice story: visitors don't usually appreciate how much effort it is to host a trip on the water.

FWIW, when relatives don't understand fishing "catch and release", I compare it to bowling. The conversation usually goes like this:

[mom]: I don't understand why you fish for fish that you don't plan to keep and eat. It seems like a waste of time.

[me]: Hey mom, have you ever gone bowling?

[mom]: Sure I have, I was pretty good too. One time...(long story about one of her better strings)

[me]: Did they let you keep the pins?

[mom]: (just looks at me and doesn't bring up C&R again)

Funny Chit!!!!!!

[Dick Durand]

I read your account twice empathizing with all parties. The story was touching and humorous, poignant in the sense that it captures the human condition. Also, I'm beginning to feel on the brink of old age myself.

[MakoMike]

You are a good man, to do that for your elders.

[Mr. Sandman]

He is 89 years old and he still wants to go fishing...hey you kinda have to take the guy. How many more trips has he got in him?
It is difficult dealing with the mobility and balance issues when it gets a little lumpy but I just did my best to work around the obstacles as they came and I am just glad no one got hurt and everyone caught fish and had a memorable time.

My biggest fear is that someone has a serious medical emergency (heart attack or stroke) on board. There is only so much you can do while in a boat.

Maybe if I make it to 89 (highly doubtful) someone will take me fishing...

[Guppy]

[QUOTE=Mr. Sandman;1011911

Maybe if I make it to 89 (highly doubtful) someone will take me fishing...[/QUOTE]

I'll offer if you don't mind a 99yr capt.

[macojoe]

Ya did good!!
My dad is crippled from the neck down from a swimming pool accident some 25 years ago. After about 10 surgeries he can walk with two canes He Loves to fish and eat just as your in laws!! Comes from VT. every year and wants to go on the boat, And that is a job for me just as you say! But I have always had a much smaller boat then you. Last year when I still had my boat dad now 75 wanted to go out so off we went to the vineyard to fluke,and like you it was flat on the way out but the way back was another story!He was sitting in a chair about mid ship, when my buddy taped me on the back and pointed, I look back and the chair was all the way to the rear of the boat and Dad with his feet pointed to the sky!
He was fine and laughing while I was scared to death!! All I have heard this year is how he wished I never sold the boat, he wants to go fishing! I said it was hard for me when I was healthy, But to do now forget it! I have only been out twice this year on my friends whaler ad it was great, but never could I deal with him now!! We won't even get into what happens when he has to use the head! So I feel your pain!!! Your a good man! I am sure deep down you will remember them days years from now and smile as will I after my dad is gone!!

[FishermanTim]

I don't know about the rest of you, but my dad took me fishing as a kid, and helped instill a love for the sport, so in his waning years I took him fishing and had as fun as before.

Here's my fishing story:
I used to live in Arlington, and was just a freshwater guy then.
I would ride my moutain bike to various ponds and rivers in the area. (FYI. the area was anyplace from Chelmsford to Weston and to Boston)
I would ride out to Stony Brook in Weston for trout fishing.

When I had access to a car I would take dad fishing and I took him to this spot, driving the same route I road my bike. We caught a few brookies, rainbows and browns (all stocked) and returned home.

My parents moved from Jamaica Plain to Hyde Park and had a house warming party. I walked by the kitchen window and overheard my dad talking to a few of the elder uncles and heard him say "My son Tim took me fishing the other day, and MAN, he goes WAY OUT THERE!"

I knew I had done well when I could impress my dad without ever trying.

We spent quite a few other outings camping and fishing in Nickerson State Park, but those a re stories for another day.....

[Jimbo]

Old people and patience, as well as elder care, wills, estate planning and dealing with a budding real estate nightmare concerning some property I am seriously considering trying to retire to in West Dennis, these things consume my entire being lately. My father was diagnosed with Myeloma and has begun treatments, but he's supposed to adjust his lifestyle. He lives alone in Yarmouth with a crazy dog, very old fashioned, very set in his ways and views and opinions on things, a tad stubborn, too. Used to be an avid player in the Cape senior softball league and he didn't mind giving that up, but insists on going up on ladders and using his chainsaw even after his Dr. told him no more physical stuff. That's where patience comes in bigtime. I mostly just listen because it's not worth upsetting him by arguing with him (and he is a great story teller, too). We've always been very close and he's been there for me more than once, but to my surprise a few weeks back he dragged me to a lawyer to draw up a will and he put me in charge of doing everything upon his demise. Honored, yes, scared out of my wits and overwhelmed, definitely. I haven't even told my own brothers because I just don't know how they're going to react. Time to man up I guess and do whatever it takes. It's tough when you're 300 miles away and can't just drop everything and drive up, it may come to a leave of absence, even early retirement if it comes to that. Yea, it's someone whow was in a situation like this who invented the phrase, "It's a bitch growing". old.

[beamie]

Good for you Sandman.......Nothing Capt Morgan can't fix when you get in.

[The Iceman 6]

Good work Sandman. Great story.