My world has come to an end.

[fish raptor]

942604_624874054190572_1352286980_n.jpgI'm 58 years old. Up until I was 56 I was one of the happiest guys on gods green earth. The only thing I was missing was true love. In Dec of 2013 I met the girl that I had been waiting my whole life for, the girl of my dreams. She wasn't close to perfect, or very very close to perfect or very very very close to perfect, she was absolutely perfect, one in a billion. It was love at first sight for both of us and for the last two years we have been loving and laughing till we fell asleep in each others arms. She was my fishing buddy and a damn good one at that beating me more than one time. We had a new 22' Mako offshore, the best fishing gear money could by and we had each other on all our fishing excursions. Those fishing trips we the happiest I have ever been in my entire life, heading out early in the morning, waters calm with a nice boat, great gear and the girl of my dreams.

Because of family problems my girlfriend took her life on Nov 22, 2015. I was so bad I was close to the edge and am not sure If I will be able to go on. I have lost my will to fight. My beautiful Mako sits on the side of my house and I cannot imaging every using it again as the sadness of not having her by my side will make it unbearable.

I am putting a picture of her hear so you can see her beauty and envision all the beautiful traits a woman can have. She had a heart of gold and no flaws. I owed it to her to tell the world just how special she was and how I am suffering. I love you Lori.

[fish4striper]

Sorry for your loss, RIP to Lori
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device

[justplugit]

So sorry for your loss, fish raptor.
I know there are no words to express your grief, sorrow and feelings.
Know that my wife and I will be praying for Lori and for the strength and peace
for you and the families. God Bless you.
Dave

[ProfessorM]

Very sorry for your loss.

[afterhours]

deepest condolences to all who loved her, RIP Lori...

[Guppy]

That's terrible , sorry for your loss, be stronge

[Raven]

i have to tell you this because i feel
like your so saturated with grief that you'll
try to end your pain thinking to join her
in the afterlife.... it doesn't work like that

each incarnation... a life on earth
is for the purpose to learn vital lessons
supposedly to get closer and closer to GOD
or to achieve perfection, But when you take
your own life you take a step backwards in that
transition....(progression)
so don't make the same mistake.

Time in the afterlife is not really experienced
as there are no calendars, seasons, sunsets ,or clocks.

your next 40 years or so of Life will seem like
just a moment for Lori .... so it is written

you can cherish the memories and stay alone
and miserable or
someday when you've had sufficient
time to manage your pain of the loss...

you might once again stumble into
a second relationship that offers you some measure of
happiness... (hopefully you'll be so lucky)

the greatest thing is that a person always keeps analyzing
endlessly what they could have done to have kept it from happening
and that is basically non constructive... changes nothing.

She would have wanted you to take good care of yourself despite
her act of desperation based solely on emotion. Be logical.

...be thankful for the time you had.... be grateful for the love
you shared... but you still need to Love yourself enough
to take it one day at a time... and fill your life with JOY
where ever (when ever) you can possibly find it.

Nature helps in that regard because of the unfathomable beauty
it bestows upon us.... and when you see it...
think of it as Lori speaking to you in a soft spoken way thru nature to ease your pain.

[OLD GOAT]

My heart goes out to you and I'll say prayers for your gal.
You are not alone, I lost my little brother about thirty years ago.
He couldn't find a way out and wouldn't talk about it to anyone.
After getting sober I tried working with others and not all of them made it but those that did are a shinning light amongst men.
I ask you to keep talking with anyone you feel comfortable with and not withdraw from people.
You don't want to hear this know but it will become more bearable as time goes by.
Don't be afraid to stay in touch .
Remember ---just for today. you can do it.

[fish raptor]

Originally Posted by Raven

i have to tell you this because i feel
like your so saturated with grief that you'll
try to end your pain thinking to join her
in the afterlife.... it doesn't work like that

each incarnation... a life on earth
is for the purpose to learn vital lessons
supposedly to get closer and closer to GOD
or to achieve perfection, But when you take
your own life you take a step backwards in that
transition....(progression)
so don't make the same mistake.

Time in the afterlife is not really experienced
as there are no calendars, seasons, sunsets ,or clocks.

your next 40 years or so of Life will seem like
just a moment for Lori .... so it is written

you can cherish the memories and stay alone
and miserable or
someday when you've had sufficient
time to manage your pain of the loss...

you might once again stumble into
a second relationship that offers you some measure of
happiness... (hopefully you'll be so lucky)

the greatest thing is that a person always keeps analyzing
endlessly what they could have done to have kept it from happening
and that is basically non constructive... changes nothing.

She would have wanted you to take good care of yourself despite
her act of desperation based solely on emotion. Be logical.

...be thankful for the time you had.... be grateful for the love
you shared... but you still need to Love yourself enough
to take it one day at a time... and fill your life with JOY
where ever (when ever) you can possibly find it.

Nature helps in that regard because of the unfathomable beauty
it bestows upon us.... and when you see it...
think of it as Lori speaking to you in a soft spoken way thru nature to ease your pain.

The pain is numbing and general easy day to day tasks are brutal.

Thank you for you kinds words..... they help and do make a difference.

She made me a better man and showed me was true love really was all about.

I hope to one day take that boat out and somehow smile, even if its a small smile and gently converse and picture her along side of me.

[tysdad115]

Sorry for your loss.
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device

[Nebe]

So so sorry. Life can be so cruel.
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device

[ivanputski]

Honor her by doing the things you both loved.
Please be strong, and know that as much as you loved her, you have people in your life that love you as well.
Take it one day at a time.
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device

[chris L]

I'm sorry to hear of your loss . My thoughts go out to you . Hang in there it gets easier to be happy as time goes by .

[Jenn]

So sorry for your loss. I can only imagine the pain you feel is so overwhelming right now that you cant imagine being happy again but as they say time heals. Sometimes it just takes more time than others

[5/0]

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss,she would want you to be strong.
Be strong for her find and it within and carry on.

You will be in my prayers, I wish you well.
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[bobber]

jeez brother I'm sorry to hear of your tragic turn..... (I'm sure we all are)


hang in there. spend time with the other folks you are close to. and online friends can be very meaningful. when Spring comes back around, try to think that Lori would want you to be happy (and probably catching a fish somewhere)

[bloocrab]

This is a great first step.
By reaching out to other people who share at least one thing in common with you, ....you can be sure they'll be pulling and praying for you. Being a part of this small community has that wonderful perk as these guys and gals don't hold back on offering support.
As men, we sometimes shut every one out because of our machismo. Most men do not want sympathy, they'll never ask...and toughen up when it comes their way.
When we get shaken up, we need to slowly exhale and ease out our pain. Very few men can keep it bottled up their entire life...and those men are normally those miserable, never happy types...others that try, explode at one point or another...lashing out at loved ones, or taking it out on themselves in one way or another.
Be strong, find Faith in your Creator. Pray that He understood her hurt, forgave and welcomed your angel with open arms. Look friends and family in the face when they talk to you....tell them "no", you're not ok. You need them, you need their company, their support. Share some of your memories of Lori with them...explain how much of your life she was and how much of a void was left behind. The ones that truly care and love you will help by trying to fill those voids until the time is ready, IT'S IMPORTANT TO ACCEPT THAT HELP. Simply having someone to talk to, regardless of the conversation will help heal the hurt.
Oddly enough, as most have said...Time is an incredible healer. Although you'll never forget her, it will be easier to move forward as weeks turn into months and so on.
It's very important to not spend much time alone during this period. Winter can be tough, never mind the holidays..., join a gym...hit the weights to release tension. Ride the treadmill and force yourself to start a conversation with someone.
It's important to not sit idle by yourself. You will only drive yourself deeper into depression.

I will pray that you find strength in the life that you still have ahead of you. Remember the example you need to set for those watching you (your friends, your family...your younger generations). Show them strength, show them resilience....you can survive this.
God - Speed to you -

[Clammer]

SO sorry for you loss of the one you loved & also your partner .

I have no words of wisdom,, everyones beliefs are different so there are no right & wrong answers .

I pray that your have a support system . be if family & friends ................ don,t shy away from them .enbrace them .

The only thing I can tell you from experience & for a fact .is that is it wasnt for nature ............mostly the sea my life wouldn,t be there way it is now ><>< ,my life is far from perfect & at times it sucks.

But its a heck of alot better that it could have been ...&& personally we all have our own beliefs on the . there after .......... to me ......LIFE is not a dress rehersal >><

I feel for you & will be thinking of you >>>>>>>>>Mike

[angler229]

Sorry for your loss.

[piemma]

Sorry for your loss.

[buckman]

So sorry for your tragic loss .
Raven's words are true. She sounds like an amazing person and you were extremely lucky to have her in your life. Carry on her legacy and make her proud . She would want you happy and enjoying life . When you're ready to get back on the water, p.m. me, you are welcome on our boat .
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[PaulS]

I'm sure that the memories of the time you had together will be of comfort.

[thefishingfreak]

Sorry for your loss.
Just try to take things one day at a time and if that is difficult try taking it one hour at a time.

Time heals all wounds, but in order for that to happen time must pass first.
This is a good place to vent we are always here to listen

[DZ]

Fish raptor,
My sincere condolences. Time will heal but please seek professional counseling if you have any more thoughts of not being able to cope.

[fishbones]

Condolences on your loss.
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device

[JohnR]

Hey bud. I am sooo sorry to see this and so truly sorry for your loss. As painful as it has been to you, make it through one day at a time, to the next, and don't do anything that will bring the same pain to others. Please see or call someone when or if it gets too hard - I'll give you my number if you want to call someone.

Godspeed, in time the pain will continue to lessen

[numbskull]

This sort of thing can destroy you as well. That is not what she would have wanted and letting it happen is a dishonor to her. See a professional psychologist and/or grief counselor who has the education and experience to help you through this. Do it for her sake as well as your own and the sake of those who love you.

[spinncognito]

So sorry for your loss. Many wise words in the posts above this one. Heed them, stay strong.

[massbassman]

So sorry for your loss. T's & P's sent to you and your families.
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[Slipknot]

Very sorry for your loss, God bless you and may he give you the strength you need going forward with any help you may need. That is more than most can handle.