Attention all Men

[bloocrab]

You need to print this out and tape it up in various rooms in the house, also on the refridgerator. I signed it Martha Stewart, maybe the wives' will listen

The Male Rules...by Martha Stewart -


The Male Rules" We always hear "the rules" from the
female side. Now here are the rules from the male
side.... these are all numbered "1"


1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and
neither do we.

1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live
with it.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the
changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never
going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl.
If it's up, put it down We need it up, you need it
down, and you don't hear us complaining
about you leaving it down.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this
one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not
work! Obvious hints do not work! Just
say it!

1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What
makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which
pair, out of thirty, would look good
with your dress?

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to
almost every question. That's what we do. Sympathy
is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Check your oil! Please.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't
ask us. We refuse to answer.

1. If we said something that can be interpreted two
ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we
meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us
how you want it done. Not both. If you already know
best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1 The relationship is never going to be like it was
the first two months we were going out. Get over it.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows
default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit,
not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no
idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our
lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how
little we care about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we
will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question, you don't want an answer
to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything
you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you
are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint,
sports, monster trucks, or more sports.

1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to
take the quiz together. No it doesn't matter which
quiz.

1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for
you.

Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to
sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we
really don't mind that, it's like camping.