so how do you fathers do it?

[BrianS]

Juggling work, family, and personal life (not just fishing)

I am 6 weeks away from my first child.. and I barely have time to breathe.... and I am positive its not gonna stop.. Ive been working on the house, the yard, planning my wifes shower (dont ask - family and best friend 1200 miles away)

I went to infant care class last night and while I knew what having a child entailed, it just firmly entrenched the fact that life, as I know it, is done.

Luckily I have already learned to function on 3 hours sleep

Do I really have 18 years till it gets easier? or maybe 22 years before my son signs his first NFL contract? (and if he takes after Daddy's size he will!)

This isnt a grump
This isnt a rant
I think this is just me going - HOLY CRAP!!!

[chris L]

kids take care of themselves . In 18 years you will be wondering the same thing "how the hell was i able to do it ?"

was I supposed to help with the kids ? I thought my job was over 9 months before ?

Im just along for the ride . Im the bag guy .

[BrianS]

Originally Posted by chris L

kids take care of themselves . In 18 years you will be wondering the same thing "how the hell was i able to do it ?"

was I supposed to help with the kids ? I thought my job was over 9 months before ?

Im just along for the ride . Im the bag guy .

You must have a good wife... heheh...

Mine... well.. that wont be the case with me...

Ive tried to convince my wife to lay down some litter in a small cage - it didnt go over well.

[Karl F]

Hang in there, and remember, you only get what you give.

I won't tell you it gets easier at any age. Each age has it's own challenges, and hopefully, rewards. Keep your eyes wide open all the time, a lot going on in todays world.

Also, your needs, (all kinds), are about to go waaay to the bottom of the list, if they remain on the list at all. Good news is, ya get used to that pretty easy.

[Aqua-man]

"firmly entrenched the fact that life, as I know it, is done."

Don't think that way, the fun part is just about to start. Just remember to make time to take time.
Tom

[chris L]

if it is a girl build the out house asap .

[BrianS]

definitely a boy!

he will be carrying my eel bucket in a few years..

[partsjay]

I can relate...had twins 16 months ago, and thought the same way you do...and for a while, it will be overwhelming.....everything changes...the scariest part is when you realise that you are all he/she has..that was the moment for me....but, you just find a way to step up..even when you think you already have...or can't step up anymore....you will. If I can help, or if you have anymore questions...drop me a pm.

Congrats on your new addition....it's the best feeling in the world!!
Jay

[The Dad Fisherman]

Fatherhood is a blast....its not that life is done, its just different.

The 1st couple of months are probably the roughest. You just brought home the little one and the only thing the baby does is Eat, Crap, And Cry, nothing else, and all at the most in-opportune times. It seems that you got no return on your investment.

But then it happens, you get that 1st real smile, not the "I just recycled some Enfamil in my Diaper" Lip Curl but a real Smile. You can see it in their eyes....there you go, there's the return on investment. Its like the most powerful drug you ever had, you will stop at nothing to get a fix of your childs smile...then when they start laughing, Forget about it, You'll be late for work just to get 5 minutes of that in the Morning.

After that for the next 3-4 years you are like the Messiah. Every time you come home you'll hear the running down the hallway and the Screams of "Daddy, Daddy" almost like you just returned from war instead of a day at the office. They'll sit with you while you do everything. That kid will follow you anywhere.....they'd stand next to you while your sitting on the Pot if you'd let them.

Then comes School, Sports, Scouts, Dance and all the other things that will eat up your time, and money....but its well worth it. And you'll do it because your still looking for that "Fix", Your kids smile and happiness. You'll be more excited about the little ones 1st goal than they will be. I'll tell you I see guys complaining about sitting through there Daughters Dance recitals, Me, I love it. She is Smiling Ear to Ear and she is happier than a Surfcaster on a 50.

Its not that You're "Done" your just different. You'll remember things that you had forgotten about when you see your kids doing them. You can come home from the worst day in your life at work and the kids will do something completely off the wall that will have you ROTFLMAO. They can go from Einsten to Curley in a matter of Minutes. They'll Embarass You and Make you Proud all in the same day. If you have a Boy You'll want to see him grow into a fine young Man and if you have a Girl you won't want to see her get any older than 5 (That is the Best age for Girls IMHO). Just enjoy the ride.

You'll see its a lot easier than you think.

[whiplash]

With two teen age boys -- I drink a lot!

[likwid]

Just remember, it'll be like driving to Montreal to pick up my dog every day for the next 18 years, just without the strippers, or Chamberlain, or a dog.

[Backbeach Jake]

"Juggling work, family, and personal life (not just fishing)"


Try rearranging the order of those..

[chris L]

oh a boy ? when you change his diapers face him away from you or you will be tinkled on .

In all honesty
the girls were the best thing that ever happened to me . I have been nothing but the happiest I have ever been . I was 34 and married 10 years when I had my first so I was ready for the change in life .

I dont fish as often as I used too but thats Ok , they fish with me often and that makes my lost time a nonissue . you will step up and be a great Dad with ease . change is good , kids are good , diapers not good but its short lived . My girls are now 12 and 8 and are the best ladies .
they are mad that Im going to cutty to fish with out them but its no place I want to take them yet

[JoeP]

Originally Posted by The Dad Fisherman

Fatherhood is a blast....its not that life is done, its just different.

The 1st couple of months are probably the roughest. You just brought home the little one and the only thing the baby does is Eat, Crap, And Cry, nothing else, and all at the most in-opportune times. It seems that you got no return on your investment.

But then it happens, you get that 1st real smile, not the "I just recycled some Enfamil in my Diaper" Lip Curl but a real Smile. You can see it in their eyes....there you go, there's the return on investment. Its like the most powerful drug you ever had, you will stop at nothing to get a fix of your childs smile...then when they start laughing, Forget about it, You'll be late for work just to get 5 minutes of that in the Morning.

After that for the next 3-4 years you are like the Messiah. Every time you come home you'll hear the running down the hallway and the Screams of "Daddy, Daddy" almost like you just returned from war instead of a day at the office. They'll sit with you while you do everything. That kid will follow you anywhere.....they'd stand next to you while your sitting on the Pot if you'd let them.

Then comes School, Sports, Scouts, Dance and all the other things that will eat up your time, and money....but its well worth it. And you'll do it because your still looking for that "Fix", Your kids smile and happiness. You'll be more excited about the little ones 1st goal than they will be. I'll tell you I see guys complaining about sitting through there Daughters Dance recitals, Me, I love it. She is Smiling Ear to Ear and she is happier than a Surfcaster on a 50.

Its not that You're "Done" your just different. You'll remember things that you had forgotten about when you see your kids doing them. You can come home from the worst day in your life at work and the kids will do something completely off the wall that will have you ROTFLMAO. They can go from Einsten to Curley in a matter of Minutes. They'll Embarass You and Make you Proud all in the same day. If you have a Boy You'll want to see him grow into a fine young Man and if you have a Girl you won't want to see her get any older than 5 (That is the Best age for Girls IMHO). Just enjoy the ride.

You'll see its a lot easier than you think.

Exactly TDF. Great post.

I have 3 boys all below the age of 7 and while its a lot of work (especially when all 3 of the boys are extremely active like mine) it is the best thing that will ever happen to you. I can't put to words the joy they bring (with a little aggravation time to time). Just enjoy it and your worries should take care of themselves with a little care and hard work. Also helps to have a wife who is a saint like mine - dealing with my kids all day.

Last - forget about fishing alot. I get out when I can, while it isn't nearly enough, and while I can't really pick & choose my tides, etc. anymore, there is no other choice.

[Homerun04]

Get ready for the highest highs of your life, and the lowest lows of your life....every emotion is magnified 1,000X when you have children......you aint even seen worries yet my friend.....and forget about your needs anymore.....nature will kick in and soon all thoughts will be of his needs.......rattle vs. new popping plug = no contest.....the old plug will have to do.

Good luck.

[ktugboat42]

I've got 2 girls, 12 and 13 and i keep wondering how did they get that old that quick. Time flies when you're having fun and kids are just plain fun.

[hooked]

It's easy, just accept that your life is no longer about you. These guys hit it on the head, tough couple months followed by experiences that you would never trade.

But, organizing a baby shower? You need to get a better agent!

Since my oldest turns 12 soon, my question would be "so how do you fathers of teenage daughters do it?"

[Jimbo]

I'm knee deep in trying to comprehend the 16 year old female being that occupies space in my house. She can be as sweet as sugar one minute, then a head spinning Regan the next. She wants the freedom, privacy and independence being an adult brings, but seems above lifting a finger around the house, even her own dirty dishes, and often expects that we have an endless supply cash and nothing better to do than taxi her friends around. Lately she seems to have no problem mercilously berating her mother especially in public, and it's put me at my wits end. I'm on the verge of donning my camo and boonie and pulling a g.d. Gunny Highway on her lazy, impolite a$$, but her mother won't let me. Fortunately, I've still got 3 good years with my 10 year old before teenagerdom hits.
Good luck to you, Hooked, et. al. parents of [and especially girls] teenagers.

[Homerun04]

Amen Jimbo.....I have two girls....14 and 8.....sweet and sour both of them.....I used to think I was loosing my mind, now I know it is the female curse....my brother-in-law says it best (and he has 2 girls age 18 and 16), "All women are evil".......

[UserRemoved1]

Everything TDF said and more. 2 boys one 11 and one going on 3

Now if'n you think your life is over now then go work for yourself with two companies and soon a third.


Here's a good fix..


DADDY DADDY I did poopoo in the potty as he runs around the house showing everyone he can

[BEETLE]

me - 2 kids - son - 21 an up and coming electrician....
daughter - 19 - still going thru what Jimbo said

I don't see either one leaving until they're in their 30's...

I'll be gone one way or the other before they are it seems..

I feel like i'm runnin a friekin country club at times ....

I just hope my daughter don't get knocked up....

Dude face it it's OVER....

[taJon]

I'm actually fearing the position you're in. I feel like there is alot to do before I have to have kids......

Guess we'll see. Hopefully there'll be a boat sooner rather than later.

Good luck, it'll be fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine

[Strider]

IMO.....just take it one day at a time and do the best you can. Look for balance, don't get fired up on the small stuff, there is way too much of that to put you off coarse. I have a son 13 and daughter 10, it's work in process, but it's worth putting the time in.

[Stewie]

You're going to be surprised how much smiling all the time can hurt your face. You won't believe how slippery the road is or how fast everyone is driving when your child is in the car with you. Hang on, you are in for the most exhilerating ride of your life. At times it will be tough on you, when your baby moves out, you will cry. Treat them just like people. You'll do fine

[tynan19]

I don't know? Still trying to figure it out.

[Pete F.]

One day at a time, We have 5 from eight to eighteen.
We used to say we don't raise them, we herd them.
Actually the second is easier than the first, you have figured out that they are more indestructible than you thought(though in their minds they get more invincible and way smarter than you as teenagers) and you are no longer the sole source of entertainment.

[boot man]

With 3 kids (5 yr boy, 2 yr boy, 1 yr girl), you save money on fuel. The joy of a 12 in schoolie at the end of a 2 year old's line is worth more than a 40 lb'er caught by me. We stay on this side of the bay, only in daylight, for 2-3 hours, don't catch much but have a ball anyway.

Cant wait for the boys to be a little older so we can fish together at night.

[reelecstasy]

7 yr old twins, and I love it

[The Iceman 6]

TDF called it pretty much on the $$$, first few months rough, have 2 daughters ages 4 & 3 - wouldn't change it for the world. Funny to watch their mannerismns as they are yours....

Ice

[RIJIMMY]

I agree 100% with Dad Fishmerman, I have both kids in the "Messiah" stage right now, 2yrs and 4. Sometimes the cuteness is overwhelming, my son (2) who is potty training, follows me into the toilet and says "Good job Daddy!" when I take a leak. I remember stressing like you but I think nature has away of dealing with it, the first few months were MISERABLE for me. No sleep, constant work, schedule all messed up. Then you get into a groove and it gets better, and by that point you barely remember what your life was like before the baby arrived. So its all uphill from there. AS most said, its a balance. You get to enjoy so many things that you take for granted as an adult all over again. Everything is new, wait until thr first time you turn off thr lights in a room and shine a flashlight, it blew my kids mind. The crawled around trying to catch the light beam. You'll be fine, everyone goes through it, it will test your patience. Pick up a book that just came out - Wisdom of Our Fathers by Tim Russert, you'll realize how important your new job as father is and the rest of the stuff is just details