restraining orders - Striper Talk Striped Bass Fishing, Surfcasting, Boating

freebie · 06-25-2009, 10:01 PM

my little sister broke up with her boyfriend last nov, it got really ugly(he harassed her, my mom, my father and myself)and she filed for a restraining order against him, he in turn filed for one against her, since his brother is an officer in a local town they dropped hers but withheld his, tonight we were out celebrating her graduation from college and he showed up after being tipped off that we were at a certain restaurant and we had to leave or she would be in violation(he did this on purpose since they have a court date tomorrow), I had everything I could do to hold back but this s$#@ needs to stop, the list of s%$t he has done goes on and on, she still has all the nasty messages he left her, small town law sucks

JohnnyD · 06-25-2009, 10:17 PM

There are people much more informed than I am. However, I believe *he* is in violation of the restraining order.

If someone had a restraining order on me and I was sitting down to dinner, there's not a snowball's chance in hell I would get up and leave because they showed up after me.

Also, aren't restraining orders issued by a judge under state jurisdiction?

I hope all the best to your sister in dealing with a POS like that. It's for situations just like this, that I have stayed in sporadic contact with some of the sketchier people I grew up with.

Swimmer · 06-28-2009, 09:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyD

There are people much more informed than I am. However, I believe *he* is in violation of the restraining order.

If someone had a restraining order on me and I was sitting down to dinner, there's not a snowball's chance in hell I would get up and leave because they showed up after me.

Also, aren't restraining orders issued by a judge under state jurisdiction?

I hope all the best to your sister in dealing with a POS like that. It's for situations just like this, that I have stayed in sporadic contact with some of the sketchier people I grew up with.

RO's only work one way, against the defendent. He can't violate an order issued on his behalf. Defendents always call and say the plaintiff is violating the order because he called me, not so, defendent can call, stop by, if they want. The order only works one way.

Defendents should be weary though, I have seen plaintiffs pick up defendents under the guise of wanting to talk things over, and if the conversation doesn't go thier way they pull up to the P.D. in that area and report a violation.

Judges issue all orders, no one else, and some do get turned down at the time of request. This includes emergency order applications and some orders requested before a judge in probate court during usual court hours.

If they gave him an order and not her one then she didn't use the magic word, fear, in her verbal or written statement, when she applied for it.

I have seen guys who actually needed an order, legitimately from a woman. It cuts both ways. Some gals can't get really deranged.

Many times the judge who is called for an emergency order by duties officers in local p.d.'s is from out of the area, and very rarely does the judge know anyone at the p.d. that is calling him/her.

The other thing that is touchy here is who gets to leave the restaurant when two parties are there, and one has an order against the other. We had this pop up just after the 209's law came into effect. The first person in the restaurant/bar, (our situation happened to be a American Legion Hall), could stay. Even if the second person inside the establishment had an order against the other, a judge in Brockton District Court ruled that the defendent on the order could stay and the plaintiff had to leave. SECOND IN, FIRST OUT. Legal decisions have become much different in the last few years and that may have changed, AFTER ALL IF THE PLAINTIFF LEAVES THE RESTAURANT HE/SHE DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING MORE TO FEAR, RIGHT!

Freebie if she needs any help PM me. I have a contact with a Brockton agency that helps out domestic violence victims, and they know how to help victims in need. She may not go to Hingham District Court, but she will have the right person to contact there for your sister. It may not be that Hull officials did anything untoward at all. Judges really don't give a chit about who is calling them.

tynan19 · 06-25-2009, 10:19 PM

Not sure how they can just drop hers as it is based in the courts not at the station. Did she receive a notice to renew hers? Perhaps her restraining order had run out?

freebie · 06-25-2009, 10:26 PM

she was given a temp and they threw it out, she is trying to make it stick, she just wants to be left alone, she was fired from her job because of this kid and has no money for a lawyer, I am trying to help but have less money than her, he still contacts my dad from time to time, it's just ridiculous, I checked on him violating for showing up but apparently he is allowed to do that and she has to leave, that law is just plain stupid

Raven · 06-26-2009, 04:29 AM

strange how he knew where to go

freebie · 06-26-2009, 05:50 AM

they have alot of friends in common so I'm sure someone tipped him off, his goal for the last year has been to make her life miserable, the only reason he was given an order on her is because he has a family member that works in the courthouse it was issued in

Raven · 06-26-2009, 07:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by freebie

they have alot of friends in common so I'm sure someone tipped him off, his goal for the last year has been to make her life miserable, the only reason he was given an order on her is because he has a family member that works in the courthouse it was issued in

she needs to re-evaluate who her friends really are....

or feed the suspected double agent a lie or two
and send him in the opposite direction....

OLD GOAT · 06-26-2009, 06:38 AM

Sounds like this would make a nice newspaper article. You must have a lot of sh#tbums in high places in your system. I Would suggest a newspaper letter to the editor article

JohnnyD · 06-28-2009, 11:37 AM

Swimmer,

Thanks for clearing that up. Some of what you said, I knew, but didn't know there was Case Law in place that went both ways in terms of if the Plaintiff shows up somewhere the defendant has to leaves. I tried to do some googling but the MA websites didn't show much clarity.

The reason I thought there was a violation if the plaintiff was following the defendant around was because a co-worker of mine broke up with his girlfriend and she somehow got a restraining order placed on him. Then she proceeded to follow him wherever he went to try to get him nailed in violation. He was able to prove that she was following him around and the judge tossed out her restraining order.

Working as an EMT when I was younger, I've seen many situations where restraining orders can help in protecting people and are a necessary tool, but I've heard of a lot of cases where a person got the RO merely out of spite. Then, they think they have this halo of power around them and are able to use that to completely screw over the other person.

I read about a situation where a guy couldn't pick up his daughter from school any more because the woman with a RO on him (and with no relation to the daughter and no kids), would stand outside the school.

Swimmer · 06-28-2009, 09:54 PM

There is an easy solution to the school pickup problem. The school can tresspass her, because she had no legal reason for being there.

I have seen some pretty pissed off woman try many things in retaliation to the former boyfriend/husband. I arested one woman who burnt the shirt right off the guys back with lighter fluid. He thought she threw water on him until he went up like a candle. We have to wade threw the liars quite often, but for the most part the 209a's are worth thier weight in gold to the victim.

freebie · 06-29-2009, 08:22 AM

that's what he was doing to her swimmer, all she wants is to be left alone, could care less about making his life miserable, she didn't even want it to come to this but he would not let up and this is over 6 months later, at least now she can sleep at night without him harrassing her, on a side note, do they take your guns away if someone has a restraining order on you? he has all kinds of assault rifles(legally of course) and pistols

Mike P · 06-29-2009, 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by freebie

that's what he was doing to her swimmer, all she wants is to be left alone, could care less about making his life miserable, she didn't even want it to come to this but he would not let up and this is over 6 months later, at least now she can sleep at night without him harrassing her, on a side note, do they take your guns away if someone has a restraining order on you? he has all kinds of assault rifles(legally of course) and pistols

Surrendering any firearms is a standard condition of a 209A order.

Swimmer · 06-30-2009, 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by freebie

that's what he was doing to her swimmer, all she wants is to be left alone, could care less about making his life miserable, she didn't even want it to come to this but he would not let up and this is over 6 months later, at least now she can sleep at night without him harrassing her, on a side note, do they take your guns away if someone has a restraining order on you? he has all kinds of assault rifles(legally of course) and pistols

He has to surrender the firearms or he has violated the 209a and is subject to arrest. He cannot give them to anyone to hold, anyone at all. They have to be turned over to the p.d. where he lives and if he doesn't and they dont take them call the district attorneys office, or the attorney generals office if you feels thier is any hankie pankie going on. It is very easy for any p.d. to run a query on c.j.i.s. and find out exactly how many legal guns he has.

Fly Rod · 07-02-2009, 05:48 PM

Freebie

You want to get that case into another court, away from where the old boyfriends relative is.

Joe · 06-29-2009, 12:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Swimmer

I arested one woman who burnt the shirt right off the guys back with lighter fluid. He thought she threw water on him until he went up like a candle.

Note to self: If contemplating pissing off wife to the extreme, wear layered fire-resistant clothing and carry small extinguisher at all times.

freebie · 06-29-2009, 01:23 PM

my sister just called me and said he is appealing the order because he didn't know he had to be in court that day, this is bullsh$$, how do you not know you need to be in court, and what judge would believe such bs, now she has court on the 7th and needs to get a lawyer, time for her to go to the news I think, someone is definitely abusing their power here