Kids and fishing

[numbskull]

For what it is worth, I have three boys.....now grown or mostly so. None are serious fishermen. Two go on occasion and enjoy it, but none live for it. The guy across the street is a superb boat fisherman (Tuna, Cod, Bass, Fluke). He has 3 children, one would rather fish than breathe, and approaches it with energy, enthusiasm, and skill that leaves me astonished....the other two have no interest.

I see lots of posts by new or young dads who obviously dream their children will become their fishing partners. For some it will happen, but for most their kids will move on to their own interests. I'm not sure you can teach your kid to love fishing.....though my own experience suggests you can teach them to dislike it. I tend to think real fishermen are born, not made. I also tend to think that exposing kids to fishing by taking them with you and putting them on big fish using advanced techniques they don't really understand (which is what I tried to do with my kids) may not be the best way to try and build a fisherman.

Better, I think in retrospect, to keep it simple, easy, and fun. Make it more about spending time with them, than trying to get them a special fish that will "hook" them on the sport. Such a fish does not exist and, anyways, watching you catch large while they struggle is frustrating for both (I've released many 20-30lb bass in the company of my kids I wished had never hit my plug). If they find they love it and pester you to tag along on difficult stuff.....great for you and them. If they find it is fun, but so are lots of other things, OK too.

Parenting is the most complex thing we do in our lives and it seems to me that it involves a delicate balance between leading and following your children. Anything you can do to spend time with them is what they need.........even if it doesn't involve a fish. Good Luck.

[nightfighter]

Originally Posted by numbskull

Parenting is the most complex thing we do in our lives and it seems to me that it involves a delicate balance between leading and following your children. Anything you can do to spend time with them is what they need.........even if it doesn't involve a fish. Good Luck.

Amen.

Good post George. My sixteen y.o. daughter goes out on boats with friends... social, social, social... she's never even been on my boat. But all the boys know that her dad might as easily be on the water as he might not, so they know who I am, and what the boat looks like. Her twin brother likes to fish, but not as much as he likes his sleep, after a late night playing that GD XBox.... He also tends to fall asleep on the boat or not feel well at anchor.
Time is a tough thing to get at their age, never mind their splitting time between two homes. All we can do is expose them to all that we can, and support what they take joy in.

[Joe]

Good thoughts - I have a ten-year-old son, thanks. Like most blood sports, fishing is out-of-step with modernity. Though the younger guys who wetsuit have a more up-to-date interpretation to the sport.

The biggest relief so far for me is that my son appears to be a regular boy: less interested in work and school, and more interested in goofing off and girls.

I used to find that most "very good" fishermen came from fishing families. It's not that way so much anymore, but it's still true among fishermen over fifty.

[Back Beach]

Good topic. My 5 year old son seems to dig fishing so far. The first couple times out I explained what we were going to do. He seemed interested and very willing.

With regard to anything we do together now, he will typically prompt the activity whether its fishing, golf, batting practice, or archery. I actually bought him a bow for his 5th birthday and he loves the thing. Usually when I pick him up at school or get home from work on weekend mornings he's got the itinerary in hand already... I simply go along with it and don't set any expectations. It seems to be going well so far as he's taking to a lot of the stuff I liked at the same age with little persuasion from me.
On a related note, he's tried on my wetsuit a few times and wants his own now...

[BigFish]

I have 2 boys now almost 16 and 17. I took them fishing very young and they were always enthusiastic about it early on.....my oldest son especially. As they grew older the oldest enjoyed it and my youngest did not except when we vacationed on the Cape and then I was happy to see him willingly grab his rod and run down to the harbor on his own but that was it...and he enjoys it when we are away! I have never really pushed them or forced them to go....the oldest wanted to and usually the youngest had to come along whether he wanted to or not! I do not get the feeling either of them will have the passion for it like I do but you never know! I fished growing up because I enjoyed it.....my Dad was not passionate about fishing....so how did I get so passionate about it I wonder??? As Numby said.....fishermen are born not made! We are going away next week and I know my boys always look forward to the fishing when we are there!!!

[UserRemoved1]

great post George and spot on

[Headhunter]

I don't know if my boys will be avid fishermen or not, they are into it now and want more. They know their way aroung the equipment from the boat and the surf. My daughter likes fluking even more so after se hooked up a 30 + lb bass,lol, surprised the heck out of her. One day on the boat my middle one he was 8 I think looks up at me and says "Dad I have a big fish on", as I looked down he was bent against the gunnel with the rod doubled over and under the boat, I said u want me to take it? "Yes he says, I got it around the bow for him and it was running as I said you want it back, he says thats ok you take it,lol. It was so great to look down and see him under controll with like a 35lb fish on loking up. They all know its ok to let the rod go if nesc part of the deal if they want to fish, but they never do. They all know their way around it well, as to how much they will do it remains to be seen.

[Sea Dangles]

I was not "born" a fisherman and only got addicted at an older age. My oldest boy has already informed me that he will not grow up to be a fisherman like me. I think it was in spite to tell the truth. I have always reinforced our trips in a positive way regardless of the results. But most of the time I try to take him when I have a good idea we can catch. This is the end of May and the start of June usually , when the fish are ripe for topwater action. I just want him to be happy no matter what he does and try to support his decisions even if they are not my cup of tea.The memories I have of us fishing together are limited but are certainly imbedded in my mind for eternity. If he knew how much I enjoyed them he would probably fish more. However, football,baseball,basketball,lacrosse,and now girls seem to be stealing the spotlight.
My greatest memory was a Father's Day around 5 or 6 years ago down in front of the Coast Guard station at Race Point.It was mid-morning and we were hooking up doubles on a hi lo rig every cast with sand eels,fish up to 25 lbs. After about an hour he informs me he wants to go back to the campground in Truro.I tell him we are not leaving until the fish do or we run out of bait. He tells me he will walk back and I call his bluff......
When he was a speck the size of a pinhead on the horizon I pack up and give him a ride 6 miles back. I was a little angry and disappointed he hadn't shown the passion for fishing I was hoping for but when we got back to the camper he was bragging to his mom and sister about the morning we had. I smiled and still do at this memory of the greatest Father's Day I could ever imagine.

Keep things in perspective was my lesson that day.

[numbskull]

Originally Posted by Sea Dangles

My oldest boy has already informed me that he will not grow up to be a fisherman like me. I think it was in spite to tell the truth.

Probably not spite, Chris...........more likely teenage impulse. They all have to separate from their parents and they do it by resisting or crossing you. They do it by breaking rules and creating conflict to prove to themselves they are in control (even when they're not). Since they have lived with you all these years they know exactly what buttons to push to provoke conflict.

It is really hard with the first teenager, until you understand what is going on. For those going through this the first time, there is a book called "Get Out of My Life: But can you drive me and Cheryl to the mall first?" by Thomas Wolff that I found extremely helpful in keeping me from killing my first son (very easy, funny, but valuable read). The trick is to get through those years without destroying the relationship with your kids (which is not what they really want...even though it seems like it) or driving them into destructive behavior.

Pretty good chance in 5-6 years your son will look forward to fishing with you. Even if not, if the both are you are comfortable about it you will have done a good job as a parent.

[The Dad Fisherman]

If there's one place where Patience is a Virtue...its taking little ones fishing.

And theres 2 kind os fishing...fishing and fishing with kids.....and hopefully some day they collide.

[Adam_777]

My family hates anything to do with fishing and cringe when I bring it up.I had my son on some sunny's last year and on the beach a few times.He's only 7 and not into it.I fished as a kid with my friends for fun.Kids nowadays play xbox all day.I hope when he grows he'll want to fish but probably not.Great post and true.

[RIJIMMY]

I have a 7yr old daughter and a 5 year old boy. I really dont care if they become avid fisherman. My Dad was a fanatic and I followed, sometimes I think its just to relive the childhood memories I had. But what I do know is that my kids understand what litter is and why its wrong, they can identify most NE saltwater gamefish, they can cast a spinning rod, they regularly handle my live eels, they know what a bunker is, they understand the food chain, they know not to put their hands near a bluefish, my 5 yr old knows the record sb is 78lbs, they walked the rocks/beaches of Jamestown, Narragansett, Pt Judith, Charlestown, Marthas Vineyard and Matunuck, they've used dead bunker to catch crabs, in nature - they've seen live, they've seen death . So no matter what they do as the grow up, I know these memories will stay with them and for the rest of their lives when are by the sea or in an aquarium or catching a bass at 2am or watching the Discovery Channel, I know they'll think of me and the times we had together. I fished a TON with my Dad and today I barely remember what we caught, it was just time together.

[Brian L]

Great thread, George.

I've got a 1 and 8yr old daughters. The 8 yr. old really likes to fish, especially on the boat in the ocean. I've encouraged them towards whatever interests them about fishing and learned (like you have, Numby) that introducing them to an advanced fishing concept too soon can dissuade them from wanting to keep fishing.

When I get home from a trip, the little one (Molly) is always fascinated by all the gear and wants to investigate everything. I'll let her pick up anything without a hook on it and try to figure it out. It's amazing how quickly they pick it up if you allow them to without interference. Only time I jump in is if she'd hurt herself or break something! Got a pic here of Molly on my lap learning how a Stradic works. I'd just gotten home from a trip and had her on my lap watching me re-spool the line. A few minutes later she was spinning the reel handle by herself!

I try to encourage their curiosity as much as possible and minimize any limitations to it. Worked pretty well with the 8 yr. old, hoping to do an even better job with the little one. Best advice I ever got about leading/influencing was that the only way to do it is by example, not by force. I'm trying..

[The Dad Fisherman]

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years." -- Mark Twain (?)

[HESH2]

been fishing over 60 years took my 3 sons out when they were young and all have the same passion i have for the sport.they were all involved in other sports growing up and were into fishing young and still at it.yes they are all better fishermen than dad.

[tynan19]

I work second shift so I have most days with my 3-6 year old boys. I was looking at my kayak the other day and realized I havent used it yet and then I realized why. Most of my freshwater fishing has been done with both my boys. So I now use the canoe or 14 Tin. I, like Mike (Backbeach), let the boys dictate what they want to do during the day. I try and get them outside and doing something that involves exercise and learning. Most days my 6 year old Tynan wants to do some type of fishing. Be it drifting worms in a stream or lake fishing in the canoe or tin boat. We also go on hikes and a lot of bike rides. We also practice sports that the two of them can do such as baseball, soccer, and hockey. My boys also snowmobile with us in the winter. I have never forced them to do anything except maybe learn to bike and swim. I have always tried to make these times we spend together fun. I know my kids have learned some valuable lessons on conservation and respect for the environment. When the day comes that they do not want to fish I will go back to using my kayak knowing I did the best I could at helping to broaden their scope of the world.

[ProfessorM]

I try to get my 9 year old daughter into fishing but her patience disappears quickly. I think most young people don't see the true joys of fishing, at least to me, and that is the pleasure to be out on a beach or boat and to be far away from the thoughts and realities of the rigors, or mundaneness, of everyday life and work. Until they experience the joys of the 9 to 5 life style ahead of them will they learn to really enjoy the pleasures of fishing. Once they enjoy the thrill of getting away from the rat race then they will enjoy more the nuances of the hunt and the techniques involved in being proficient at this great pastime. On the other hand some kids take to it like a duck to water but I think they are the minority. All you can do is invite them and hope they see the light, can't force feed anything to a kid. P.

[MarshCappa]

My step daughter used to fish with me a lot, mostly fresh water up until she turned 10(she's now 12). Now she couldn't be bothered. When my son was born 4 1/2 years ago I admittedly was psyched to have a future fishing partner. For the most part he loves it both fresh and salt. It is sometimes a chore to get going with him but usually once we go he loves it. The best trip I had this year was with him on the south river. 1 Schoolie and that's all it took. I think he'll grow up liking to fish with me but we'll see.

[bassballer]

Maybe I can chime in on a perspective from someone with no kids. I always grew up on my fathers boat and his father always had a passion for fishing. My father considers himself a fisherman, but i consider him more of a boater with fishing rods in it. Any chance I could I wanted him to take me out. Even when I younger we would be out on buttermilk bay cruising around and I would get annoyed when we would do more cruising than fishing. Thats when my dad realized my passion for fishing was greater than his and he supported it greatly. And he became more of a fisherman because of that, and its somethign we share till this day. My brother on the other hand was never really into it. He would come along for trips but usually would rather be doing something else. when this was apparent he was never forced to come along and my Dad would always focus on baseball, and golf with him rather than make him come fishing. I think you either into it or your not, and if their not find what they are passionate about and focus on that. Some day they will ask you to go fishing to repay you for the years you sacraficed a a great tide so you could take them to the batting cages.

[JoeBass]

Here's an interesting case. I'm an identical twin. My brother and I fished every day of the summer from age 9 to 18. mostly for trout in the Pocono mountains where we spent the summer. By age 15 i was fishing more than him and going off on solo trips often. By age 20 he still enjoyed it but almost never went. We are currently mid 40's and he never fishes. I fish every chance I get. My Dad didn't fish but really supported that we did.
I now have a 16 year old son that is as passionate, maybe more, than me. This weekend we went trout fishing and he caught a nice Brown and Rainbow. He's crazy about striper fishing and won't let us bring the boat in even after 8 hours of fishing (i'm not kidding). We fish every chance we can and it's usually the highlight of my week. I don't think I did anything different than other Dads, he just has the passion.

[spinncognito]

A friend's father took me fresh water fishing often when I was 10-11 years old and I have never looked back. I have a 15 year old daughter who would tag along with me but was never into it. Growing up here in Gloucester and being surrounded by water and with my own Dad being a commercial fisherman, there is little doubt as to why I am the obsessed individual I have become. Never had a boy to influence unfortuneately.

[Flaptail]

George, your a great Dad, I watch you as you teach Pete how to run the boat, like the other night, youre a great teacher and more importantly to Pete is you are his friend, he can count on you as do Nick and Colin. There is mutual admiration there, a deep bond built by giving them your time even though it may not have been doing what you wanted to do.

I don't have sons, I was blessed with two wonderful and wonderfully different daughters, I never believed in forcing them into anything I like to do. To me forcing them to become a "mini-me" is just totally wrong. They need to become thier own persons with thier own likes and dislikes and as a parent our job was to fgure that out and foster growth in what is that they seemd to want to be involved in. That train of thought is so prevalent in our family that no one is named after anyone else on my side of the family, from birth you are an individual and the first thing you get is an individual identity starting with your first and middle name.

Parenting is a tough job, one should never make it tougher on themselves or thier children by forcing them to be or do something they have no interest in. And the greatest gift you could ever give them is your time and show them your willingness to share that time regardless of the endeavor.

That they will always remember and respect you for and most importantly love you for it.

[Big Water]

This is a great thread, the guy who clued me in to it, I first met on Cutty when he was there fishing with his dad and brother. It was nice to see them all together. I then mentioned it to my son and daughter when I saw them at Thanksgiving that year. Over the years my son and daughter have fished with me a dozen times at the most. They enjoyed it but not enough to do it more. I started them young, taking them to NJ in Dec. to catch the last schoolies before they left for a long winter, they were 5 and 6 at the time. I have taken them wetsuiting, they both liked that adventure and caught fish besides. My daughter has been to Block with me, and my son, with me to Montauk. They know fishing through me. They are in their 30's now and have approached me about the three of us going to Block next spring for a week of fishing. We have talked about going to Montauk the next year and then Cutty. They want this to be a yearly thing and spend a week with me fishing. There is no pressure on my part, I know that doesn't work in the long run. I can fish 24/7 but need to tone it down a little and play off them and see how it works! Something to look forward too, and to you guys with younger kids it can never be too late. Gary

[tynan19]

Gary, great post. I hope you guys get to do your trips and share some pictures with us.

[Dad 818]

George, great thread and perspective. Still trying to get used to not seeing my kids every day since the divorce. The one thing I have come to realize is how much I love spending time with them now and how much I miss them when it's not my day(s) to see them.

As far as fishing, I had an uncle growing up who loved fishing (still does actually) and seeing pics of him in Alaska and going out on his boat a few times and I was hooked. (no pun intended)

My daughter (12 tomorrow) and my 7 year old son have taken to sweet water fishing so far (sunnies and bass). I don't know if they have the patience to fish the salt yet, and I won't take them until I get comfortable with them in the salt anyway. I have always preached the importance of following their own interests and not feeling that they have to like what I like for me to love them. (although if they started rooting for the 'Fins, Jets or Steelers we may need to have a talk)

Again great topic!!

[johnny ducketts]

Thanks for the insight George, my now 8 month old son is crawling, pulling himself up to standing, and is generally interested in everything. I hope to one day instill in him my love for fishing and conservation of the sport. If he doesn't enjoy or like it then I will be there to support any endeavor he wishes to pursue with my full attention and commitment. It's amazing how fast he's changed in 8 months already.

[Slipknot]

Originally Posted by numbskull

For what it is worth, I have three boys.....now grown or mostly so. None are serious fishermen. Two go on occasion and enjoy it, but none live for it. The guy across the street is a superb boat fisherman (Tuna, Cod, Bass, Fluke). He has 3 children, one would rather fish than breathe, and approaches it with energy, enthusiasm, and skill that leaves me astonished....the other two have no interest.

I see lots of posts by new or young dads who obviously dream their children will become their fishing partners. For some it will happen, but for most their kids will move on to their own interests. I'm not sure you can teach your kid to love fishing.....though my own experience suggests you can teach them to dislike it. I tend to think real fishermen are born, not made. I also tend to think that exposing kids to fishing by taking them with you and putting them on big fish using advanced techniques they don't really understand (which is what I tried to do with my kids) may not be the best way to try and build a fisherman.

Better, I think in retrospect, to keep it simple, easy, and fun. Make it more about spending time with them, than trying to get them a special fish that will "hook" them on the sport. Such a fish does not exist and, anyways, watching you catch large while they struggle is frustrating for both (I've released many 20-30lb bass in the company of my kids I wished had never hit my plug). If they find they love it and pester you to tag along on difficult stuff.....great for you and them. If they find it is fun, but so are lots of other things, OK too.

Parenting is the most complex thing we do in our lives and it seems to me that it involves a delicate balance between leading and following your children. Anything you can do to spend time with them is what they need.........even if it doesn't involve a fish. Good Luck.

An excellent post by George worth a bump

and I just found an oooold picture of my 2 kids where they caught their first striper, that's right, they both caught this same fish, it ate both their hooked worms right under the dock so they made it a team effort landing it and of course i got to unhook it and hold it for the pic. Even made the Fisherman magazine

"keep it simple, easy and fun" like George said

[Fishoholic]

Lots of great posts in here.. Thanks for bumping!

My boys are 4 & 6 and love it. They usually ask to go every weekend. I try to not let them get burned out by going both days but they still ask. We have fun and like what was said above, there's fishing ad fishing with kids. I usually just drop the hook and let them bottom fish for scup and sea bass. They want to catch more tog this year and bass so maybe we will switch it up a little.

[OLD GOAT]

Great posts Well we have five daughters ,the youngest turned thirty nine today.
#2 and#4 fish and fish verywell The others could care less

[SurfCaster413]

My father always took me fishing every weekend or whenever he could. I caught my first trout when i was 3. I got all my buddies into fishing.We vacationed on the outer beaches and was introduced to surf fishing. Bait fishing mainly little plugging when I was 12 thats when I became addicted with,by 18 was doing my own trips to the cape bringing friends. I was born to fish.