Spreading remains/ashes.

[Raider Ronnie]

On June 5th I got the call that I feared I would eventually get.
My younger brother was found dead of a drug overdose. 49 years old.
He made it clear to everyone that he never wanted to be buried in the ground when he died, wanted to be cremated. Wanted nothing to do with a Church Mass.
Tomorrow I will be taking about 10 of my immediate family, including his son, my parents, sisters and a few cousins & uncle out on my boat to spread his ashes in Boston harbor.
It was he who about 30 years ago was the one who got me into fishing & he was the one who had a boat. Plan to spread them at a handful of spots he & I fished in happier days back when we started. Figure we will lay him to rest in the place he was happiest.

Anyone here done this type of thing and if so, how did you go about handling the ashes as the be respectful rather than just grabbing them with your hands or dumping them from the box we were given from the funeral home.
Thank you in advance.

[RIROCKHOUND]

Originally Posted by Raider Ronnie

On June 5th I got the call that I feared I would eventually get.
My younger brother was found dead of a drug overdose. 49 years old.
He made it clear to everyone that he never wanted to be buried in the ground when he died, wanted to be cremated. Wanted nothing to do with a Church Mass.
Tomorrow I will be taking about 10 of my immediate family, including his son, my parents, sisters and a few cousins & uncle out on my boat to spread his ashes in Boston harbor.
It was he who about 30 years ago was the one who got me into fishing & he was the one who had a boat. Plan to spread them at a handful of spots he & I fished in happier days back when we started. Figure we will lay him to rest in the place he happiest.

Anyone here done this type of thing and if so, how did you go about handling the ashes as the be respectful rather than just grabbing them with your hands or dumping them from the box we were given from the funeral home.
Thank you in advance.

Sorry for your lost Ronnie.
It is a nice way to spend him off.

With my grandfather, the priest recommended dropping the urn so the wind didn't blow the ashes around. It was a spot my grandmother can see from her condo offshore of Newport harbor.
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[Pete F.]

Sorry for your loss
With my father we spread them off our dock at our camp in Mass. Straight from the box. Same with my stepfather but on his farm. I think we used scoops. It can be kind of messy but life is also at times.

[PaulS]

Sorry for your loss. Scattering them with the breeze might be nice also.
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[Sea Dangles]

Very sorry Ronnie,sad news

No Lebowski
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[niko]

we had an urn with my dad so everyone got a chance to pour a bit out into the water. little bait fish swam into it like it was a mini chum slick . my condolences ronnie

[Clammer]

sorry Ronnie

My wife is on the dresser & out Golden next to here .she asked to be put wherever I end up . I told my kids it will be there call if I,m cooked or planted ….... I know my daughter went with agrave with her husband so the family can visit him .
My son doesn,t believe in a afterlife or church or anything so it could be interesting ><>
Most people I,ve know have gone to a special spot , some they are spread around their own property .

Whatever is decided will be Ok >,

[wdmso]

Sorry for your loss

[Guppy]

Sorry for your loss, Ron
Grrr, Freaken drugs!

[nightfighter]

Ron,
Condolences sent...


My father's ashes did blow about a bit in the wind 25 years ago. Later this month we will be spreading half my mom's ashes at the beach she walked every morning at 0700, then heading out on the boats to spread the rest with my father at Halfway Rock.


At the funeral home they had something to spread the ashes, for another nominal fee. I think we got one so all the grandchildren have a turn. Let me look into that and I will get back to you.

Ross

[nightfighter]

Ron,

The urn we got is cardboard, shaped like a Quaker Oats cylinder, has a flip top that allows you to shake out contents in a controlled manner.

[fishsmith]

So sorry Ron, very sad. While in the Navy we did a couple burials at sea, and as noted above know what the wind is doing, maybe bring some talc powder to get an idea. Again very sorry and wish you and your family peace and strength.
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[JFigliuolo]

So sorry Ron. I hope knowing his spirit is somewhere he loved brings you and your family peace.
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[spence]

My thoughts to the family that is way to young.

I saw one time someone used a basket on a rope. Put the ashes in a basket and let it float and sink, then pull it back with the rope. Offshore I would definitely think about wind and ashes.
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[Got Stripers]

Dad and mom were spread by the bell outside Scituate Harbor, best way to go if there is one, sorry for your lost.
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[nightfighter]

This is the one we got

https://www.stardust-memorials.com/O...iABEgI6a_D_BwE

[clambo]

Sorry for your loss Ron. It may seem like an end but is not! It is a change to another reality

[MAKAI]

So sorry Ron.
My wife’s ashes were put in a beautiful sand dollar shaped urn provided by the funeral home. It floated for ten minutes surrounded by roses. The urn sinks and dissolves in about 24 hours. Ashes dispersed in the currents. Brings me great comfort every time I’m on the water.
Peace to your family.
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[Raider Ronnie]

Thank you everyone.
My plan is to spread portions at a handful of different spots, starting with an inshore spot I caught my very 1st Fish with him over 30 years ago. Got a few more inshore spots we always fished and caught fish then head to a few spots outside the harbor.
Tomorrow’s forecast is calling for little to no wind so that should not be an issue with them blowing.
Hopefully being the 4th holiday boat traffic won’t be too crazy.
Thanks again and for the kind words at this very difficult time.
Pretty surreal feeling knowing I held him in my arms as a baby when my parents brought him & my sister (twins) home as babies from the hospital, I was 6 years old then.
Now 40 something’s years later I’m holding him again in my arms as a box of ashes.

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[The Dad Fisherman]

Just ask yourself, what would he think? Nobody knows more than his family what he would like. What would make him laugh or cry. If you know your brother would have dug it, then that's what counts.

When my cousin passed away at the age of 37, me and a couple of my other cousins were tabbed as pall bearers. We knew my cousin was a wise ass and a huge 3 Stooges fan, so we all wore 3 Stooges ties for the service. We didn't give a chit what any one else thought, we knew our cousin Ronnie would be like #^&#^&#^&#^& Yeah.....that's what counts.
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[Higgie]

Sorry for your loss Ron
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[BEETLE]

Sorry for your loss Ron

[vineyardblues]

So sorry for your loss
I can only hope your brother is in a better place with loved ones.

My plans if I ever get sick and have time to plan 😎 Is to make lures out of giant horse pills
Fill the pills with my ashes. Weights/ hooks the whole ten yards. As people cast them they would dissolve and release the ashes , maybe even catch
God Bless your brother
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[JohnR]

Poignant service for your brother, Ron. At least his demons are at rest now.


I too know what it feels like when you wonder when that call will come.

[bart]

I’m so sorry for your loss. This epidemic does not discriminate. It’s a real mother#^&#^&#^&#^&er.
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[BigFish]

Ronnie my sincere condolences for your loss. Keep the memories close.

[Slipknot]

Ronnie, I am so very sorry for the loss of your brother. I can't imagine what you are going thru now but remember all the good times and I hope today went well. Be strong for your family.

[Raider Ronnie]

Thank you everyone.
Very emotional day that I won’t soon forget nor will my family.
Ended up taking turns everyone spreading his remains at 1 spot, dead low tide and not a whisper of wind for his remains to stay that spot along with a Bruins jersey (another thing we both loved & had in common growing up) and some flowers.
Strangest thing happened as we arrived on the spot.
Birds working all around us and fish busting, though small fish. Pretty normal at sun up & sun set in a handful of areas of Boston harbor but not at 10:30 -11;00 am and hadent been happening at this spot all year. I took it as a sign of his approval.
Thanks again.
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[Fish On]

Very sorry for your loss Ronnie. No two experiences are the same but I had a similar experience late last year. Got a call from the police that my older brother had been found that moring at home 3 days after his 52 birthday and 10 months after our mother passed. Our mother had died in November 2016 and we were all very close. Her passing and other personal challenges proved to be too much for him. I spread his ashes from our boat in our lake where we spread our parents ashes and where we have owned a cottage since 1965. This lake is where we shared many of our best life memmories and the same lake that he saved me from drowing in when he saw me, yelled for our parents and our mom pulled me out as I was floating face down at 4 years old in 1971. I love him and I miss him as you miss your brother. My thoughts are with you. We all have both good and difficult memmories of our loved ones and what I can offer is that the good memmories grow stronger with time while the difficult memmories tend to fade. Hug his son often, share your best memmories of his father with him and find comfort in each other. My thoughts are with you. God bless.

[piemma]

Ron, sorry for your loss. Lost my brother also to drugs last year. Tough on everyone except the deceased.