Forgot Wife's birthday

[Caffeine fisherman]

Last weekend I forgot my Wife's Birthday.
Holy %*&#!!!
It's my fault plain and simple and I feel like crap.
But is it an easy fix? Hell no. It's the thought that counts, or in this case didn't count. If it was my birthday that was forgotten, no big deal, just buy me a present. Hell I'm too old to care about birthdays anyways. But noooo, when it comes to females it is all about the fact that you didn't think about them. This is one of the things that buying jewelry won't just do. You have to come right out and proclaim your unapreaciative bastardness. I do love her so and she is the best thing in my life. This will probably take three months to fix. But still, you know females, they never forget. It is truly going to be a cold winter.

[BigFish]

Thats not good.....did you tell her what you said in your post? That she is the best thing in your life and how lost you would be without her and so on? Wow, thats a tough one....I gotta say that was one huge bonehead move. Nothing monetary or superficial can fix this! I would do exactly what you said....plead ignorance and tell her all the things that she wants to hear.......everyday for the rest of your natural lives together! You do however get five smashes on the head from me....now go serve your penance! May the Gods of fishing forgive you......if you ever get to go again!

[capesams]

my prayers r with u.

[missing link]

Originally posted by capesams
my prayers r with u.

dito

[Bassman18]

Hell hath no fury than a woman scorned...

my prayers are with you

[Slingah]

good luck man.......
good luck

[fishweewee]

Originally posted by capesams
my prayers r with u.

Oh man, and on the off season too. You have no excuses!

[hooked]

I bet some lucky lady is going to get one hell of an anniversary present this year.

[davess23]

You poor bastard. This is a major, and I do mean major, setback. I don't know how you managed to commit a blunder of this magnitude, but short of being able to rent a time machine, you're screwed. Your entire existence for the immediate/foreseeable future needs to be dedicated to damage control. You're lucky it's winter. Something much smaller than this could very easily cost a man an entire summer.

A few pointers:

First, forget about making excuses. "I don't even think about my own birthdays..." and all similar crap are useless, in fact worse than useless. She's not about to listen to that. You need to agree with her that you screwed up big-time, and you need to admit it. Sincerely, contritely, loudly and often. Grovel a little bit, too. Women seem to like a good grovel now and then. But remember, #^&#^&#^&#^&can the excuses. You need to understand that short of Alzheimers or nuclear winter, there's no excuse that she'd ever buy, anyway. So don't add more fuel to the fire...believe me, it's burning just fine already.

Next, get ready to make a gigantic (better yet, "colossal") concession of some sort. Everyone's got one of these big, nasty beasts lurking in the shadows of their relationship: a vacation with the in-laws that you've been avoiding like the plague for years, sale of your boat to finance a bathroom makeover, moving her sister in with you for a while, or whatever. I'm sure you're fully aware of one of these metaphorical toothaches waiting to be inflicted on you. Well, my friend, now is the time to tell her that it can happen. Whatever it is, give in to her. It'll hurt like hell, but that's the whole idea.

Then, anticipate the next significant date. About the only decent thing about this disaster is your timing: Valentine's Day is right around the corner. I hope you've got some major headroom on the ol' Visa card, because boy are you ever gonna need it. This VD has to be at least three times the intensity of the most heartfelt one from back when you were dating, and it has to be clearly stated as intended to make up (tell her, "at least just a little bit") for the birthday effup. In fact, you might want to do this one in stages, beginning, say, tomorrow.

Finally, whatever you do for Valentines, spectacular though it may be, should be considered as merely a warmup for your next anniversary. Think, "Paris in springtime" or something of that magnitude...

So that's what you need to do if you want to begin, just begin gaining some forgiveness and rehabilitation. Better get on it skosh.

Oh, and have I made clear yet that even if you accomplish all of the above with straight "A pluses", and add a few of your own gimmees to it, you're still nowhere near out of the woods? Because that's the way it's gonna work, in spite of your best efforts. I said, "damage control," not "fix everything," didn't I? Women have memories that'd put the elephants to shame. No matter what you do to atone for your sins, this little incident is written in indelible ink, no, let's make that "carved in granite," and it will follow you for the rest of your life together, surfacing whenever a conflict between you two leads her to require a good stout club with which to beat you.

My sympathies, friend, and my hopes go with you.

[Bawana]

Sounds like a serious setback in domestic tranquility and time for the large size chap stick.They deffinately frown on memory loss at the worst times.Aniverseries another biggy.hope the dog house is insulated.

[Jimbo]

I concur with Davess23, if you make a truly great impression on Valentines Day it may help overcome the fact that you forgot the birthday. Call the florist now to get your order in or it may be too late and they'll tell you they can't get to it before the 16th, which will mean a return trip to Doghouse-ville.

[BigFish]

We have not had any word from Caffeine Fisherman for some time now....... I hope he is alright......you know how them women can be.... he is probably grounded for a week with no computer privilages! Fair thee well my friend......fair thee well......

[Caffeine fisherman]

I made sure not return home the next day with out a card in my hand. Cards mean allot to her. Don't know why cards mean so much, but they do. Spent an hour trying to find the right one. Something to the point of “it may seem like I’m an unappreciative bastard, but deep down I really love you with all my heart”. Not in those exact words but basically the same point.

She is not the kind that you can just buy stuff for, she has to pick it out herself. So far she has picked out a few things but nothing big. Plus any attempt on my own would come off as a bribe.

The only savior is that we both get wrapped up in our jobs. So she hasn’t been dwelling on it as much.

It would be easier if she was mad. But she isn’t mad, just disappointed, and that is ten times worse.

Will definitely spare no expense on the big V-day.

I always held the theory that the card and the chocolate companies invented Valentines Day. But now that day can’t come soon enough.

[BigFish]

Show her how bad you are being lambasted by your fellow fisherman.........you moron! (kidding about the moron....not kidding about showing her the thread)

[davess23]

Caffeine Fisherman, it's good that you're hanging in, looking for a cure.

Disappointment...hell, I'd rather deal with anger, any day, much as I hate it when they throw things, especially my fishing equipment. But anger generally has a beginning and an end.

Basically, the tactical situation sucks, but the one thing you have going for you is that you really and truly care. The guy who forgets his wife's birthday generally does so because he doesn't give a rat's ass about the woman. His neglect of her day is only one among numerous other signs that she's nothing to him.

Obviously, that's not you, or it wouldn't bother you. For sure, you wouldn't be trying to fix it. And Valentine's is definitely a golden opportunity. You can't afford to blow it...and I know you won't.


Incidently, I agree with Big Fish...show her this thread.

[ThrowingTimber]

I'll light a candle for you.

Or youcan always plan something quick and just tell her that you couldnt get timeoff work etc. Just before the season starts I take the mrs. to the harraseeket inn in maine (you can probably do a web search) she can shop and hang out etc, nice food there etc. and... well soon after that she doesnt see me til late november. Check it out if you want to play catch up its a good place

[Crafty Angler]

Whew....man, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Just do little things like the normal household duties she expects of you, maybe do the painting or whatever it is she wants to do redecorate, etc. - and give her a hand with her chores like cooking or whatever. Do something real nice and romantic with Valentines coming up.

DON'T make a point of telling her you owe her for your forgetfulness - she'll remind you when necessary. And don't worry, this will all blow over in a couple of years - unless of course, you have an argument -

"What? You're going fishing AGAIN? Gee, you don't forget your fishing buddies, do you? Etc., etc."

Seriously, CF, don't beat yourself up over it - you sound like a nice guy who committed a major oops. She likes cards because they're sentimental, so get busy on them but don't overdo it either.

Outside of that, tattoo the date of her b-day on your arm so you never forget again - not that I think that's gonna happen.

My condolences on starting the 2004 season with a deficit in the points department - but you'll find a way to pull out of it.

Just some words of experience from a guy who's been married 22 years - and I still love the grouchy old girl as much as I ever did if not more.

[fishweewee]

LOVE the avatar Caffeine Fisherman!

[chris L]

she may not be dwelling on it now ! just wait ! she wont forget you will and she will remind you at your most inconveinent moment . you may want to think of things you could do to get back in her graces , grovelling comes to mind ,So does lying ( flat tire , got robbed , car jacking , train accident and you had to help and your gift worked perfectly honey ) or the truth I forgot . so dont make too many plans that you cant live without doing . and that really special fishing trip you want to plan . play it down and really push the ones that arent so special . and maybe just maybe youll fly under the radar and get your trip in .

I HOPE YOU HAVE LEARNED FROM THIS ?

knucklehead

[MrsSFrances]

i bet your in the doghouse....this is for your wife im sure shell like it

[MrsSFrances]

photoshop what a wonderful thing

[Caffeine fisherman]

LMAO!!!

[MrsSFrances]

glad you like it...lol...thats where my husband would be if he forgot too...

[Fishpart]

I'm still in trouble for fishing the Canal on the wife's birthday in 1999......

Had a hit or a fish every drift for an hour that night

[RIROCKHOUND]

Never went that far, but I forget little stuff so much my GF thinks I'm an Idiot... I just put some extra effort in when possible, even during the season I try and take her out for a nice dinner, chick flick, drinks, whatever... and dont blow off her family get togethor, got to know that the hard way....