Capt. Dino's Humor

[dondkim]

A senior citizen in Florida bought a brand new Mercedes convertible.

He took off down the road, flooring it to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head.

"This is great," he thought as he roared down I-75. He pushed the pedal to the metal. Then he looked in his rear view mirror and saw a highway patrol trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.

"I can get away from him with no problem," thought the man and he tromped on it some more, flying down the road at over 100 mph. Then 110, then 120 mph.

Suddenly, he came to his senses, thinking, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing."

He pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the trooper to catch up with him.

The trooper pulled in behind the Mercedes, walked up to the man and looking at his watch said, "Sir; my shift ends in 30
minutes and today is Friday. If you can give me any single good reason why you were speeding, that I've never heard before, I'll let you go with a warning"

The man thought a moment, looked the trooper square in the eye and said, "Young man, years ago my wife ran off with a Florida State trooper, and I thought for just a few moments you were bringing her back."

"Have a nice day, sir." the trooper said as he tipped his hat and
left.

[blue oyster]

thats great

[teaser]

A man in a bar, after several drinks, began bragging that he could identify any type of wood by its smell only. The patrons of the bar decided to test him. The man was blindfolded and presented with several
pieces of wood.
First they tried maple. He smelled it and said, "That's maple."
They then tried ebony; he again smelled it and named the wood correctly.
He did this with ever piece of wood they brought before him.
The bartender then got an idea to trick him. And they took one of the waitresses and put her crotch up to his nose. He sniffed for a while.
"Boy," he said "this is difficult, flip that board over and let me smell the other side."
So they took they waitress and put her butt near his nose.
He took a big whiff, started to smile and said, "You guys can't fool me! That is the sh*t house door from a tuna boat!"

[Nebe]