Win a BuggerPlugger Story - Striper Talk Striped Bass Fishing, Surfcasting, Boating

JohnR · 07-23-2003, 10:06 AM

OK - I want to here a funny story from or about a member here that happened in the past year and a half! Winner, chosen by the membership, will win choice of a #^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^& 2OZ Needle (Blurple), a 2.5 Ounce Black scale Slammer, or a Parrot 1.5 Needlefish....

Getting someone in trouble with their wife or the authorities is not recommended

or anything related to F.E.B. (or about the webmastah seeing that I can't win anything)

We'll let this run for a few days - maybe through the weekend - and then the members will tally the votes for the Plug. The runnerup CAN win a plug providing the story is good enough AND you members want to award it

Jimbo · 07-23-2003, 10:35 AM

Does it have to be about fishing? Also, if it was previously mentioned on these boards is it still acceptable? Or should it be original and as yet unpublished?

JohnR · 07-23-2003, 10:43 AM

Original and unpublished is preffered but not necessary - fishing preffered but not necessary too

lennyr · 07-23-2003, 11:02 AM

let me try. I fish with my black lab Luther. He Knows when I am going fishing just by the clothes I wear. If I put on my waders he starts going nuts knowing he's going fishing. At first it was tough keeping him off my plug when surf casting. He would try to swim out to it and grab it. But after catching a few fish he got the hang of what we were out there to do. He can hear a fish strike my plug from anywhere on the beach and comes over to help me land my catch of the day.
One day after fishing the morning tide, we came home and being to tired to put my fishing gear away, I put my plugg (atom popper) on a unlit cooking grill and leaned my rod against the shed. I went to sleep. Luther loves one thing more than fishing and that is food. Luther went sniffing around the grill looking for leftovers and found my atom popper and buried the treble into his nose. The noise the dog made was demonic sounding and my wife runs out to find luther running around the yard with my atom popper hanging off his nose. Not being able to calm him enough to get the hook out, we piled into the car an off to the vets we went. They sedated him and removed the hook. They still remember him there. He is truly a saltydog.

JohnR · 07-23-2003, 12:33 PM

That is good but I can see the PETA e-mails flowing

STEVE IN MASS · 07-23-2003, 12:47 PM

I'll beg off the contest entrance, since, first, this doesn't fall within John's time frame, and second, I've told it before....

But for some of the more recent members (and the fact that I NEVER miss an opportunity to bust Mr. Kav's chops.....

)

Kav and I used to work together.....a few years back, he was itching to go shark fishing, and was looking for chum. So, he had asked me if I knew anywhere to get some pig blood......

....

I told him "no", but since near where we worked was a poultry farm that I frequented to buy fresh chicken and ducks, I told him that maybe he could get some chicken blood there.

So at lunch, we headed off to the poultry farm. Walked in the door, and since David was a bit hesitant, I asked the nice lady at the counter, whom I knew pretty well from my visits there, if they had any chicken blood they could sell us. She gave us a strange look, and said "Um, no, but I can sell you live chickens for $3 each"......

I looked at Kav, and the look he gave me back was priceless.....his mind racing, a bit of a smirk, and I knew what he was thinking.....but then he told the lady "Um, no thanks".

We got back in his truck, and laughed all the way back to work, and for the rest of the afternoon....

"Imagine live-lining a chicken for shark...."

Have fun with PETA on that one, John.....

Jimbo · 07-23-2003, 01:38 PM

This is sort of fishing related, but it's all I got and I want the parrot. It was after a trip I'd made solo to the Cape for a few days early this Spring. True story as I recall it.

Well it all began when I returned home from my dangerous and very fulfilling fishing trip in the perilous waters at the Cape of Cod. My woman was waiting for my return as though she had been looking toward the horizon since my departure, waiting, no yearning, for her old man to come home from the sea. (It was sort of like a cross between an Old Spice commercial and the end of that song, "If You Like Pina Coladas and Getting Caught in the Rain"). I believe it was my rough, unshaven demeanor, my shirt which said, "Kiss My Bass" and my dirty, ripped jeans which revealed just a hint of the black watch pattern boxers I was wearing underneath, maybe a wisp of pogy scent or possibly a couple too many beers certainly didn't ruin the mood (I'm sure it made me look even more lusty in her eyes). So you can see the house oozed passion...an emotion to which I was no stranger. BUT! With two young children in close proximity it would indeed be difficult to satiate her full and unbridled lust. Finally, I had the forethought to put on an old AMC movie which made them fall asleep on the couch and Lazy Boy and at once Mother and I took advantage of the break and bounded up the stairs to our love lair above. Well, more like she walked because her knee is bothering her and I pretty much staggered. From that point on it was like a checklist: Clothes off...check.....get in bed...check....see to her pre-lovemaking needs...check....then there was this voice in my ear, "Jim, don't you think you ought to lock the door in case Hannah wakes up and comes looking for us?" Frig! I was just about to use one of my patented moves on her, and she calls a mandatory time out. "Oh all right, I responded," and I bounded out of bed temporarily switching from her needs to her order. Fumbling in the dark, this was a task I knew I could accomplish with great speed and even intoxicated, but something was amiss. "What's taking so long?" a voice from the direction of the bed said. I was devastated and even began losing staying power. I panicked and said, "I can't believe it! When the painters removed the door handle to paint they must have put it back on backwards. THE LOCK IS ON THE OUTSIDE! What are we going to do?" So I'm ready to mount her like Roosevelt's head on Rushmore and we can't lock the door! "Well think of something" she demanded. Then it dawned on me. If I couldn't lock the damn thing I'd at least block it for the minute or two, at most, that I'd need to perform my obligatory husbandly duty. I dumped the contents of the dirty laundry hamper and piled it high against the door. It was surely an immovable force no seven year old could get thru. Finally I was back "in the saddle" so to speak. Things were progressing per normal for a lover of my calibre and experience, when there was a noise barely audible over my partner's shrieking shouts of ecstatic nonsense which is par normal for women to do when I am at the top of my game. Pausing briefly, there it was again, we could hear the door handle being tried, then a seven year old like voice and pushing against the door and saying, "This door is stuck! There is something behind the door that's making it hard for me to open, but I think I can get in." Curses, foiled again! Eventually we would get her to sleep and accomplish our mutual goal, but it would be the wee hours and the access security of our love chamber would only then be realized by the use of the traditional chair propped against the handle of the door.

macojoe · 07-23-2003, 01:46 PM

As you all no my truck broke down a couple of weeks ago, and we were stuck waiting for AAA to come and pick us up. Well when we got out of the truck to try and figure out what was wrong with it, My son was standing there with a stupid look on his face

I said what is wrong? still nothing but this stupid look on his face

again what the heck is wrong with you??

I can't belive it he yells!! Belive what?? I craped my self!!!!!

I said what?? I craped my self ! He says again, well me and my buddy started

so hard I had to wipe the tears away. So I said well go clean your self in the woods over there. I got him some paper that we have on the boat and off to the woods he went. When he came back he said, I really liked them boxers and they are the ones that uncle Eddie gave me.
You had to be there to see that look on his face!!
MacoJoe

Van · 07-23-2003, 02:58 PM

OK, I've got one.

When my buddy and myself were fishing the MSBA tourny, my wife called me on the cell several times during the day.
I got pretty aggravated about it.
Near the end of the day Tom was into a nice fish near one of my favorite rockpiles. I had not anchored cause we were flippin live bait into nasty spots. So I am manuevering the boat to keep the fish from wrapping around the rocks and keep the boat from smacking the rocks too , there are boat wakes, wind, and 1-2 footers all around.

THEN THE CELL PHONE RINGS AGAIN.

I pick it up and look at the display,,,yup its her again. I threw the phone down and proceeded to call her every name in the book. Quite loudly too. We finally boated the fish and after a while moved off toward the dock. THE PHONE RINGS AGAIN. Its her.
She says, "when I called earlier, you left the phone on". Thats when my stomach came up into my throat. I had somehow pressed the answer button when I threw the phone down..

She said all she could hear was swearing and cussing. Something about a friggin beatch !!! YEA I said that fish had me in real trouble near the rocks and I was very upset. Thats what I was swearing about. Man that was a close one!!!!

I double check the phone is off everytime now !!!!!!!!

bud8fan · 07-23-2003, 03:14 PM

I have a friend from PA who with his friends take an annual trip to Canada for Walleye, Pike and Smallmouth.
Well this past springs trip did not go uneventful.
Evidently while there they became friendly with a waitress at a diner in the area. Well my friend is a real prankster and clever at that. He has this waitress right a note to one of his friends.
" Next trip give me a call" phone number and address included and signs it "Cherri" with XXX and OOO's.
My friend goes to a local department store and purchases a real sexy pair of thong underpants and procedes to put them in his friends suitcase along with the note.
The guy's wife finds them when she unpacks his suitcase and the SH_T hits the fan. Well this guy is livid and drives to my friends house with fire in his eyes.
After the I should kill you remarks everyone gets a great laugh out of it.

Can you all imagine this happening to you?

Russ

RickBomba · 07-23-2003, 04:10 PM

Ok Guys, Here Goes...
When I was getting married (not too long ago), my brother in law George decided to take me out for a mini batchelor party.
Now George is the closest human approximation to Dom Delouise; just as large and just as funny.
Anyhow, George has never been fishing in his life, and decides to take me out fishing. Not knowing where to bring me himself, I suggest Nahant. I used to fish there a lot and it's not too hard to take a beginner out there.
Anyhow, we go out to the very large rocks @ Bass Point. Anybody who's been there knows that it's productive, but a difficult place to land a fish. Realizing this, Ricky starts to drink like one, while minding the rods of George and myself.
Fishing was dead, I spent most of my time rebaiting, cutting and drinking. Much to my surprise, George decides to start casting for himself, leaving me to pound the Sierra's full time.
About half-an-hour later, I see George with a puzzled look on his face. I ask what's wrong, and he answers that my rod must be broken because it keeps making noise and he can't reel it in.
At that moment I realize that George has got a WHOPPER. I scream to him, "Don't lose it!!!" Realizing that he now has a very large fish on, he looks at his rod and screams like he's holding a cobra and throws my beautiful rod onto the rocks.
Instinctively, I grab the rod and begin to play the fish into shore. Just then I remember that there is a large offshore storm throwing very large swells at the rocks (like 10 feet). As the fish approaches the rocks, I scream to George to wait for the wave to break and I will play the fish in, so he can scamper down the rocks to get it.
Realizing his plight, George wimpers, "I can't, I'm a fat man!!!"
Thinking quickly, but very stupidly (as I am quite drunk), I decide to give the rod to him, and I will get the fish.
By now, all my attention is focused on the fish, not the surf. George's lack of experience causes him to hesitate, but he eventually gets the fish close to the rocks, between the rollers.
I run down the rocks like a mountain goat, grab the fish (which was maybe 30 pounds) and look seaward to see a wave not five feet away from me that was easily five feet over my head.
Quickly I ponder the situation, and decided that my safety was worth far more than the fish, drop it, and grab onto the rocks like a mountain cllimber...It was all I could do not to be swept away!
I cleared the water from my eyes, and the fish was gone.
By now I was totally dejected, soaked, and very, very shaken.
I turned my head upward to hear a crowd of beautiful late teen girls laughing and cheering to me as I trudged back up the rocks.
I thought to myself, oh they must be applauding my heroism or bravado and felt like a very big man.
Just then I looked down and realized that the wave hit me so hard that it broke open the fly on my pants, and I was walking up the rocks with my shriveled Johnson sticking out as plain as day.
And I still didn't get the fish.
Everybody seems to laugh very hard every time I tell this story.
Send me the plug, John, please...my dignity is still all but gone.
Rick

missing link · 07-23-2003, 06:41 PM

RickBomba gets my vote

NIB · 07-23-2003, 07:12 PM

WE where out all night gettin bait an only managed 2 bunker it was Third week of june an I think they where spawnin cause we had spent five hrs an it was tough.its now about 400 am an after 4-6 coffies I gotta crapso I start to walk off the bridge.about a 1/4 mile.I get about half way an I here my buddies screamin so I start to walk back.They were gettin baits an managed to snag a few in the time it took me to Tiajuana twostep that far then it hits me again I know its the last warning so a scurry off an climb down the embankment but i'm a few seconds too late to get my draws down. I see a tree to lean on an finish the job.I take my Knife out to cut off my Underdraws to clean up the mess just then a a Dove takes off outa the tree an scares the (crap that was left) outa me an I stab myself in the leg with my knife.so Know I got a bad ass an my leg is bleedin an I got no bait.I get to the truck an drive up an my buds are like where the hell where ya the baits are dyin as they got buckets full.so I throw em in the truck an then we divi them up an I go to my favorite jetty an I picth the bait out an catch a 34#er an several other nice fish.Stuff like this happens to me all the time.

blackeye · 07-23-2003, 07:23 PM

My grandfather used to go drinking with his buddies up in new hampshire every year, and hunt deer while they were out there. So one morning after leaving camp he has to lay some cable. So he takes off his vest and puts down his rifle and backs into the bushes and takes care of business. Later on back at the camp everybody is complaining about the stench, but they can't find where it was coming from. Later on when my grandfather goes to turn in he removes his vest and finds s**t all on the inside of it and plastered on the back of his shirt. He had stepped on a branch when he was giving birth and when he stood up and stepped foreward the branch flung crap all over his back..

BigFish · 07-24-2003, 06:53 AM

Jimbo gets my vote if not for shear hilarity, then just on the skillful way in which he wrote that piece.

BigFish · 07-24-2003, 06:54 AM

Honorable mention goes to Van of Team Karavi. You dumb son-of-a-beatch. Funny story Van.

mrmacey · 07-24-2003, 08:24 AM

Was seeing the expression on budfan8 {russ} face as I came from way down south to cast and my plug caught his expensive fluking rod and watched it get casted to the white water and in utter amazement and a fit of rage how he casted his plug just as the rod was to perish in the deep he caught it!!

we both got a good laugh when that was over all he could say was I cant wait to get to my computer!!!

striperjerk1 · 07-24-2003, 08:54 AM

went down to nauset one weekend and the beach was full up. so we wait at the holding area to get on. while we were waiting,one of the guys said go fishing for a while,so some of us did.well one of the guys hooked on to a fish and yells fish on. i see hes having a tough time"newbie" i go over and see the handle turning like crazy,i said grab the handle and put the clicker on, well his knuckles were sore .but he did catch his first keeper.
OOPSS sorry, this story is not within time frame of 1 yr and a 1/2.

JohnR · 07-24-2003, 02:59 PM

Some good stuff here - keep it coming...

Fish On · 07-24-2003, 10:36 PM

I heard of pinch a loaf, drop the kids off at the pool, take a crap, but.......lay some cable.......???????? Now that's a new one.

Must be a southie term.

blackeye · 07-24-2003, 10:43 PM

i got a million of em

JohnR · 07-31-2003, 02:27 PM

OK - seeing that I forgot about this and it dropped off the radr - let's run it thru this weekend and we'll pick a winner (get it bugger // booger

- man I'm tired) on Monday & Tuesday...

Let's here about the bow stuff from Clammer (which in hindsight is funny) or maybe the polar bear on Cuttyhunk chasing that little girl (guess you had to be there)....

UserRemoved1 · 07-31-2003, 06:38 PM

Van and Bomba are tied

mrmacey · 07-31-2003, 08:28 PM

ok now this was funny me putting myself out there for clipping a sheep!!!!

thewaterfordstriper · 07-31-2003, 11:05 PM

i have a buddy and i swear, tobias, can back me, that all this happen to one person. he is not a member but still too funny not to pass on.

we were about 17 years old out trout fishing. we were trying to be cool smoking cigars and fishing at the same time. keep in mind that he is wearing his brand new spanking nike nylon sweat pants. we were fishing away catching a few trout and i look over and he has a huge ball of flames shooting out of pants. seems that he flicked an ash on them. he jumped into the water to get it out. he passed out one nite, a little tippsy and stuck his foot in the fire pit only to light his foot on fire. another trip to the water.
one morning tobias, my buddy and myself were fishing. tobias hooked a decent fish. i went to gaffe it. (confirmed bluefish). my buddy says, no no give me the gaffe. he stood about 30 feet to the left of where the fish was to be landed. the bluefish spit the hook and he took a 6 oz. sinker off the cheek. nice little cut that required a frozen mackeral to keep the swelling down. we were fishing watch hill and for some reason the spool popped off his reel and into the water. he reached down to grab it only to cut his hand on a barnicle. i look over to see him cutting his sock up to make a turnicut to stop the bleeding. one morning we were fishing charlsetown beach when there was a huge storm the nite before. the beach eroded to a nice 5 foot drop from where the the truck was parked. he, i swear, said this is great i can't get hurt out here. he took one step out of the truck and 1 step backwards and preceeded to fall right of the cliff and onto his back. too funny. i am afraid to take him anymore.

brian

Billybob · 08-01-2003, 10:36 AM

Well, not a fishing story, but it is a boating one - and the funniest thing I had happen to me this year is actually pretty embarrasing, but here goes:

So last night, I get home,it's warm so I can do some glassing.I have some new rodholders (btw, these Solo rodholders are Sweet), and I want to layup a layer of glass under them to beef it up a little.All I have is a real old can with a little left, so I figure I'll give it a shot.I mix it up, hoping it will still kick.I'm gonna brush it on, nice and neat.I notice it's kicking pretty quick, so I decide to pour it on a paper plate, soak the glass and lay it up quick.Get in the boat, lay down lay up a couple strips - it's starting to gel.Wait a minute, my heads starting to burn.When I was laying down, I layed my head right in the plate of resin!
Oh no, what am I gonna do now.I have no acetone,I do have all kinds of automotive paint solvents- but I don't really want to be pouring any of that stuff on my head.Run in the house, stick my head in the shower- just makes it gummy.Grab a handful of gojo - and that does the trick.
You should see/hear what the wife and kids thought of all this - it was hilarious.
Moral of the story:
- Wear a hat when glassing.
- Don't be a dork.
- Keep your work area organized
- Don't be a dork.
- Don't drink beers when your working on your boat, nah.

This is a public service announcement from Billybob!

Jimbo · 08-01-2003, 10:58 AM

John didn't say no repeat story tellers, but if that's the rule I'll stick with my first story, but this one's pretty funny. Last summer my brother shows up at the Cape with a ride on lawnmower he intends to leave there for use as needed, but it had a flat tire. He's sort of a jack of all trades builder kinda guy with a long pony tail. He gets this idea that instead of fixing the tire, he'll just drill some holes in it and get a can of that spray foam insulation that comes in a can and expands to the size of the area it's in. So he gets the can and leaves it sitting on the hood of the mower while he's doing some painting around the house. The mower's sitting in the hot sun all day long before he remembers he wanted to fill the tire with it. Well no sooner had he started filling the tire with it than KA-Pow. The can explodes like a bomb. Spray foam insulation is in gobs up in the trees, on the side of the house and (he was ok, mind you) gobs of it stuck on his chest, legs and a big one hit him in the forehead and on some on top and foamed up and hardened there. He looked like a cross between elephant man and a leper or something. Well he knew it was inevitable he had to shave his head, but not before having some fun going up to people and asking if he looked ok, he'd just had a little mishap. Walked around for a while with a screwdriver stuck in it.
(This is also sort of a public service announcement for anyone planning to fix a flat).

rwilhelm · 08-01-2003, 11:53 AM

I have to go with RickBomba. That story is hilarious.

JohnR · 08-04-2003, 08:52 AM

************ TIME TO VOTE ***********

Who is the winner - you can vote for any story but your own!

NilsC · 08-04-2003, 10:03 AM

Van, and the cellphone gets my vote... hilarious

Nils