Subject: WHY ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REAL JOBS

[JohnR]

Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role
model: "I wan all them kids to do what I do, to look
up to me. I wan all the kids to copulate me."

New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about
the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or
1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd
run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt
Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over
Joe's Mom, too."

Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his
coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets
us wear earrings."

Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann,
1996: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A
genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

Senior basketball player at the University of
Pittsburgh: "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter
how long it takes."

Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You
guys line up alphabetically by height." And "You guys
pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."

Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up
again with promoter Don King:"Why would anyone expect
him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three
years, not Princeton."

Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining
why he keeps a color photo of himself above his
locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name,
I can still find my clothes."

Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan
training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a
guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning
regardless of what time it is."

Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player,
explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared
nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby,
and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an
aunt."