Spring checklist--audience participation time

[fishweewee]

1) Waders
2) Wader belt
3) Foul weather top
4) Korkers and replacement studs and duct tape
5) Sweatpants, sweatshirt (I prefer fleece tops and bottoms), tube socks
6) Hat & Gloves
7) Beverages and snacks
8) Pliers & sheath
9) Belt gaff
10) Sand spike
11) Waterproof flashlight and spare batteries
12) Length of thick rope to string up your catch.
13) Boga-grip or similar type of weighing scale

14) Tide charts
15) Weather report

16) Rods (including backups)
17) Reels
18) Spare spools

19) Hooks
20) Swivels
21) Snaps
22) Leader
23) Lead sinkers - bank, pyramid, or storm, various sizes

24) Lures - tins
25) Lures - bucktail jigs and trailers (pork rinds, plastic rubs)
26) Lures - Scandinavian-style swimmers (single body, jointed)
27) Plugs - poppers (polaris and pencil types), and spooks
28) Plugs - metal lipped swimmers (e.g., dannies)
29) Plugs - darters
30) Plugs - bottle swimmers
31) Plugs - needlefish
32) Lures - rubber minnows, paddletail type swimmers, jerk baits

33) Plug bag(s) and tackle bag(s)

34) Coolers
35) Ice
36) Filet knife
37) Tape measure/ruler
38) Recent copy of updated fishing regs
39) Bait cutting board
40) Bait knife

41) Tire pressure gauge
42) 12 inch x 12 inch plywood jack boards
43) Tow cables
44) Porta-potties and TP for your bungholes
45) Shovel suitable for moving sand
46) Jack
47) 4WD Beach Permit
48) First aid kit
49) Fire extinguisher
50) Spare air hose and nozzles

51) Your prescription meds
52) Fully-charged cell phone

53) Fishing buddy

Extra Gear for Newport, Jamestown, and The Avenues - ASIAN FISH POACHERS

* Lots of non-biodegradable litter (like beer cans, fishing line, bait wrappers and soiled baby diapers). Don't be stingy, spread it around.

* A swaggering I-don't-give-a-fukk disregard for sportsman-like conduct and marine recreational fishing regulations.

Extra Gear for Newport, Jamestown, and The Avenues - GOOD Weather

54) SOS inflatable vest and replacement CO2 cartridges
55) Wetsuit instead of waders and foul weather top
56) Waterproof marine band VHF in case you need to call for help
57) Change of underwear in case you have a close call with a wave
58) Several hundred hours of swimming at the local Y under your belt.

Extra Gear for Newport, Jamestown, and The Avenues - BAD Weather

59) Your ID tattoed on your forehead
60) Your next-of-kin phone contact in a waterproof ziploc bag
61) Your signed organ donation card
62) Updated Last Will & Testament
63) Proof of most recent premium paid for your life insurance policy

Extra Gear for Breachways - WEEKDAYS

64) Duct tape to cover your mouth up to mask uncontrollable giggling

Extra Gear for Breachways - WEEKENDS

65) Taser or cattle prod

Extra Gear for Breachways - HOLIDAY WEEKENDS

66) Threat Level III A Kevlar ballistic vest (riot helmet optional)
67) Glock pistol, 9mm - .357 Sig - .40 S&W - .45 ACP - 10 mm (n.b. you can fire a Glock underwater if you need to).
68) Four spare loaded mags for the Glock
69) Zip-loc bags for Glock
70) Rhode Island carry permit http://www.riag.state.ri.us/criminal/bci.php
71) Name and # of good criminal attorney to bail you out.

Extra Gear for Quonnie East - Anytime

72) Spud gun to launch tubers or rotten chum at the RIMS guys on the other side.

73) Big metal pot or bucket to bang on at 2 a.m. on the way out to the rocks so you can announce to the locals that you are poaching scup.