The Longest Thread in History

[bloocrab]

Long ago lived a seaman named Captain Bravo.
He was a manly man's man who showed no fear in facing his enemies. One day, while sailing the seven seas, a lookout spotted a pirate ship and the crew became frantic. Captain Bravo bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt." The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt and while wearing the bright frock he led his mates into battle and defeated the pirates.
Later on, the lookout spotted not one, but two pirate ships.
The captain again howled for his red shirt and once again vanquished the pirates.

That evening, all the men sat around on the deck recounting the day's triumphs and one of the them asked the captain: "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before battle?"
The captain replied: "If I am wounded in the attack, the shirt will not show my blood, and thus, you men will continue to resist, unafraid." All of the men sat in silence and marveled at the courage of such a man's manly man.

As dawn came the next morning, the lookout once again spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirate ships approaching. The rank and file all stared in worshipful silence at the captain and waited for his usual reply. Captain Bravo gazed with steely eyes upon the vast armada arrayed against his mighty sailing ship and, without fear, turned, and calmly shouted:
"Get me my brown pants."