GORE FOUND FROZEN

[scottw]

(EP) dateline ICELAND 12-16-2008

The Former US Vice President , Nobel Prize winner and Climate Change Guru Extraordinaire was discovered frozen solid on an arctic ice flow in a bizarre twist of Global Warming fate and yet another dangerous piece of misinformation emanating from Gore’s top advisor on Climate Change. The details are sketchy at this point but according to sources that refused to be identified, AL Gore had grown annoyed recently with the abundant evidence that the planet is in fact cooling. After proclaiming just days ago that both polar caps would completely melt within five years as much of the US was plunged into record cold temperatures with significant snows falling as far south as New Orleans, ice storms ripped the Northeast and record cold temperatures being felt in from Denver to Texas. The former VP was also disturbed by recent polls showing that 60% of Brits believe that AGW is a scam and most of the world was unwilling to accept that their exhalations constitute a pollutant that should be heavily taxed and regulated.
Apparently, the last straw for Gore was a weeks old report of Narwhales trapped in ice near the Arctic Circle. Gore proclaimed that “there is no ice up there”, a claim that was apparently spurred by a report from one of his top advisors who had transposed his August 2008 records onto December 2008, showing December as the hottest December on planet earth since the Big Bang.
Gore family members divulged that Mr. Gore climbed aboard his 110ft Green Houseboat named the “GOREVIDAL” and headed north to prove the reports of existence of ice anywhere on the planet to be completely false and to finally disprove the “deniers”. It was also reported that the Gore family pleaded to Mr. Gore to stop and reconsider but their attempts were met with repeated claims that “NO CONTROLLING LEGAL AUTHORITY IN THE UNIVERSE COULD STOP HIM!”.
From what authorities have been able to piece together so far, it appears that Mr. Gore houseboated north until a cloud passed over which interrupted the voyage on the solar powered vessel, a back- up generator which runs on bio- diesel was apparently of no use as the former VP had used all of the bio-diesel to deep fry his 6 meals a day. One investigator reported “he even deep fried his desserts”. The combustion engine back up could not be used because Gore was 6 months behind in paying his Carbon Credit Tax Payments and those things are evil anyway. The vessel appears to have drifted into an ice flow where Mr. Gore likely disembarked while wearing only a GORE 2000 tee shirt, his Nobel Peace Medal, shorts and sandals and wandered out onto the ice pack . It is believed that starving polar bears ate the rope that linked anchored boat to the ice as it was made entirely of HEMP prompting on investigator to suggest that” it was very lucky those bears didn’t get the munchies and eat Mr. Gore”, another commented “when we first saw him there we thought it was the Michelin Man but then we notice the tee shirt and medal and immediately knew that we were dealing with a real celebrity”.
In a strange twist of fate, the houseboat was restored to full power when discovered adrift as the weather had apparently "changed".