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Old 02-11-2014, 01:53 PM   #10
putty
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Hummock Flats
Posts: 26
I never post on here, although I have been a regular lurker for a while. This one hits close to home...I have a tough enough time talking about it with friends and family...so lets open up to a bunch of strangers on the interwebs!

I was dealt a swift left/right combo of cancer this past fall- lost my best friend @ age 36 on 9/24/13 and my sister @ age 44 on 9/26/13. Completely surreal and overwhelming feeling knowing both of these traumatic and emotional events were going to be converging on me at once. Still reeling a bit from it- no real safe haven to find when your friends and family are all suffering separately and equally. Selfishly part of me thinks they went out together to somewhat lessen the sorrow to a degree...perhaps get it over with in one fell swoop. Needless to say I was crushed.

I spent numerous nights in October alone on the beach & the rocks trying to either clear my head, assimilate my emotions, or just an alternative from falling into a bottle...I had one time that I was standing on a rock around midnight with my mind adrift thinking of pleasant memories when I got smacked by a nice 20# class bass, which i took as a sign of both of them smiling down on me

The hurt is still there, and probably will be for a while. In regards to Larry's theme of mortality- you never know what tomorrow will bring. Embrace today and enjoy life as you see fit. Even if your sense of enjoyment causes loved ones look at you like you have something wrong with your head because you're going out to stand alone on barnacle covered rock at night getting beat up by the surf in hopes that a fish comes around...just so you can catch it and let it go again...

In the poem Desiderata I love the closing line and it seems apropo: "Be Cheerful- Strive to be happy."

Tight lines to all this upcoming season-

Putty
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