Joke for today?

[HighTide]

A guy walked into a bar with his pet monkey. He ordered a drink and while he was drinking, the monkey jumped all around the place. The monkey grabbed some olives off the bar and ate them, then grabbed some sliced limes and ate them, then jumped onto the pool table, grabbed one of the billiard balls, stuck it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallowed it whole!!!

The bartender screamed at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did!?!"

The guy said "No, what?"

"He just swallowed the cue ball off my pool table --- whole!"

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he eats everything in sight, the little bastard. Sorry. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."

He finished his drink, paid his bill, paid for the stuff the monkey ate, and left.

Two weeks later he was in the bar again, and had his monkey with him. He ordered a drink and the monkey started running around the bar again. While the man was finishing his drink, the monkey found a maraschino cherry on the bar, grabbed it, stuck it up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it! The monkey then found a peanut, stuck it up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it as well! The bartender was disgusted.

"Did you see what your damn monkey did now? the bartender asked.

"No, what?" replied the guy.

"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled them out, and ate them!" said the bartender.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he measures everything first!