Joke for today?

[justplugit]

Waay to funny, Karl.

[Nebe]

-Two Muslim Extremists are sitting in a cave while smoking hashish and chatting over a pint of fermented goat's milk.
The first Muslim Extremist pulls out his wallet and starts flipping
through pictures, and they start reminiscing
"This is my oldest son, he's a martyr."
"Praise Allah! You must be so very proud," says the other
yes, and this is my second son. He's a martyr also."
"A fine looking man... praise be to Mohammed!" replies his comrade
After a pause and a deep sigh, the Muslim Extremist says wistfully, "They
blow up so fast, don't they?"

[hooked]

A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem.
I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."

"What do they say?" the priest inquired.

"They say, 'Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?'"

"That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed. Then, he thought for a moment.

"You know," he said, "I may have a solution to your problem. I have two
male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring
your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Pete
and Jacob. My parrots can teach your parrots to pray and worship, and your
parrots are sure to stop saying that phrase in no time."

"Thank you", the woman responded. "This may very well be the solution."

The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house.

As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their
cage, holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and
placed her parrots in with them.

Immediately, her parrots said, "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some
fun?"

There was stunned silence.

Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and said, "Put
the beads away, Pete, our prayers have been answered!"

[Jimbo]

Wal-Mart will have its own wine...

Some Walmart customers soon will be able to sample a new discount item: Walmart's own brand of wine. The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo Winery of Modesto,California, to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the $2-5 range. While wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Walmart brand wine into their shopping carts, there is a market for cheap wine, said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at Roger Williams University in Bristol, R.I. She said: "The right name is important."

So, here we go: The top 12 suggested names for Walmart Wine:

13. Chateau Traileur Parc

12. White Trashfindel

11. Big Red Gulp

10. Grape Expectations

9. Domaine Wal-Mart "Merde du Pays"

8. NASCARbernet

7. Chef Boyardeaux

6. Peanut Noir

5. Chateau des Moines

4. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar!

3. World Championship Riesling

2. Sams Shiraz

And the number 1 name for Wal-Mart Wine .

1. Nasti Spumante


The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with both white meat (Possum) and red meat (squirrel).