It has taken an hour to calm down

[ecduzitgood]

I agree totally I lost it and it feels kinda like I just had sex and want to lay down now (my memory is not so good so I think thats how I used to feel..2+yrs.ago). I really wish I had handled it better and came back with something like if I had my handicapped child with me it would be my business but I don't like to lie so that never even crossed my mind after she threw the F-bomb I just lost it.
12-13yrs. ago I spent 3yrs down near the Cape Cod Cafe and dealt with these types and have escaped muggings twice when walking to my job each night, so I don't let them get close enough and become highly alert at any time I get that feeling something is going down. I know in my mind I was already thinking if a gun comes out and I can get in my car I was just going to push theirs into the store and hope if I they get me they can't get away fast and at least without their car and loads of people watching the whole thing go down there's a good chance they would get picked up, plenty of cops near the Belmont st store. Having no children and not much to lose makes me think of how things could or would go down and if it's me taking the bullet for one or more of those scumbags rotting in prison so be it. I'm not a bad guy at all in fact all I did was turn and get ready to tackle the guy when I heard him run up behind me and he put on the brakes abort 10 feet away and said "I ain't comin up on you" and took off back the other direction no tough guy here I just was ready to defend myself rather than freeze up. I honestly would rather talk my way out of a fight or get the hell out of there by running or what ever. The second time they came from across Main st. splitting up as I approached I told the guy coming towards me "wrong guy, not me, wrong guy, aint happening" and he kept coming till he was within reach and I put my hand out to keep him at a distance while watching his eyes as he was waving he arms trying to distract me saying "no problem man, no problem man" I saw his eye move towards my right and closed my hand taking a hold of him and throwing him to my right and he collided with his buddy who was coming from his hiding spot around the corner as I turned on the afterburners and got my arse out of there. I couldn't believe it but I had my tax return cash with me because my apartment had been ripped off and I wasn't going to leave it there (I know, try the bank but remember I had no car to get to the bank if I needed cash). It is a shame Brockton got as bad as it has, and I know it's gotten better but not better enough to not be aware of everything and everyone when I'm there. I guess I'm a pessimist because I always think of the worst happening and prepare for it and hope for the best.