Joke for today?

[Jimbo]

Bounce -- Who knew? And all this time I've just been putting Bounce in the dryer. Don't know if a word of it's true.
1. It will chase ants away when you lay a sheet near them.
2. It takes the odor out of books and photo albums that don't get opened too often.
3. Repels mosquitoes. Tie a sheet of Bounce through a belt loop when outdoors during mosquito season.
4. Eliminates static electricity from your television screen. Since Bounce is designed to help eliminate static cling, wipe your television screen with a used sheet of Bounce to keep dust from resettling.
5. Dissolve soap scum from shower doors. Clean with a sheet of Bounce.
6. Freshen the air in your home. Place an individual sheet of Bounce in a drawer or hang in the closet.
7. Prevent thread from tangling. Run a threaded needle through sheet of Bounce before beginning to sew.
8. Prevent musty suitcases. Place an individual sheet of Bounce inside empty luggage before storing.
9. Freshen the air in your car. Place a sheet of Bounce under the front seat.
10. Clean baked-on foods from a cooking pan. Put a sheet in a pan, fill with water, let sit overnight, and sponge clean. The antistatic agent apparently weakens the bond between the food.
11. Eliminate odors in wastebaskets. Place a sheet of Bounce at the bottom of the wastebasket.
12. Collect cat hair. Rubbing the area with a sheet of Bounce will magnetically attract all the loose hairs.
13. Eliminate static electricity from venetian blinds. Wipe the blinds with a sheet of Bounce to prevent dust from resettling.
14. Wipe up sawdust from drilling or sand papering. A used sheet of Bounce will collect sawdust like a tack cloth.
15. Eliminate odors in dirty laundry. Place an individual sheet of Bounce at the bottom of a laundry bag or hamper.
16. Deodorize shoes or sneakers. Place a sheet of Bounce in your shoes or sneakers overnight.

17. Golfers put a Bounce sheet in their back pocket to keep the bees away.