The Stable Genius shows off

[Pete F.]

Floridaman thinks Belgium is a city, albeit a pretty one.

Floridaman seems to think Paris is in Germany. (It kind of was for a few years in the 1940s, I guess.)
Man shot inside Paris police station. Just announced that terror threat is at highest level. Germany is a total mess-big crime. GET SMART!

Floridaman thinks there are countries on this planet called “Nipple” and “Button.” (Do NOT, under any circumstances, ask him to point them out. PLEASE.)

Oh, wait. A small correction. Floridaman thought Nipple and Button were in India, not separate countries. My bad—we all make mistakes. Sorry.

Floridaman didn’t understand that when it’s the afternoon in Washington, it’s the middle of the night in Tokyo.

In a meeting with leaders from the Baltic states, Floridaman thought he was talking to people from the Balkans. (No, seriously. This created quite a stir in diplomatic circles.)

I have to say that really is my personal favorite. Floridaman is there trashing the presidents of Latvia, Lithuania, and Estonia for the breakup Yugoslavia, and they’re like, WTF. And then it dawns on them—Balkans, Baltics ... buffoon.

Don’t forget that beautiful border wall Floridaman is building between Colorado and Mexico.

Floridaman once bombed Syria but thought he bombed Iraq.

Floridaman once got a call from the president of South Korea, but then told hundreds of journalists that he’d gotten a call from the leader of North Korea.

“After I had won, everybody was calling me from all over the world. I never knew we had so many countries.”

Floridaman once told the prime minister of India, “It’s not like you’ve got China on your border.” (India has a 2,520-mile border with China.)

When Gordon Sondland called Floridaman on July 26 and said he was in Kyiv, Floridaman had to ask whether Sondland was in Ukraine, according to the testimony of embassy staffer David Holmes.

National-security officials once showed Floridaman a map of Korea. What he saw stunned him: He had no idea Seoul was so close (15 mi) to the DMZ, well within the range of KPA-GF artillery.

He asked, “Why is Seoul so close to the North Korean border?”

And then, referring to the 10 million inhabitants of South Korea’s capital, he said, “They have to move!”

In 2018, Floridaman didn’t know the difference between England and the United Kingdom, our closest ally.

And in 2019, Floridaman remained blissfully ignorant, and confused about, the distinction between England and the UK. He seems to think that England changed its name. Maybe a branding thing. Who knows.

Floridaman had to be told in 2018 that Ireland isn’t part of the U.K. ... yet made the mistake again in 2019.

And just a few days ago, Floridaman earned global mockery when he met with the president of Iraqi Kurdistan but thought he was talking to someone from Syria.

What me worry?