Parental Control - How Far Do You Go?

[Jimbo]

Maybe someone could give me a little advice. By accident last night I found out my 15 year old and her friends and others I don't even know (nor does she I found out) have created webpages of sorts for themselves on some common website, many posting pictures and personal information of themselves. Apparently, their individual pages are accessible for posting messages by others if they get permission. Somehow she had stuff from guys she didn't even know I felt some of the other kids' pictures, as well as the quasi-porn some posted, the absolute worst language they used, and some with sexual or quite violent descriptions of things they wanted to do was totally inappropriate and she (all of them) were setting themselves up for trouble, be it perverts, conartists, whoever. She shut down on me and told my wife alot of it was just people venting or feeling their way in the world and it was harmless. I told her shut it down, delete it do whatever you have to so it doesn't exist on your PC anymore.
Just a sanity check. Am I over reacting? Or does this sound like the kind of thing parents are supposed to do given the internet freaks we hear lurking for this stuff, as well as her (former) friends with serious mental issues. Are these sites harmless? Sorry I can't remember the url here at work.

[outfished]

Not a good idea imo. It's quite possible to have your computer taken over by some perv and not even know about it and have them find personal info on who uses the comp, unless she's pretty smart about these things. I would do a deep thorough check on that hard drive and make sure all the nasties are gone. There's a program called net nanny that will track all the activity that goes on and let you set limits on where she can surf. Sounds like someone needs a stern talking to, good luck!

[Skip N]

Its a F'ed up world out there and if she's posting personal info and talking to strange guys i'd play it safe and shut it down. better be safe than sorry these days. Just my 2 cents.

[Jimbo]

Thanks so far. I feel like I'm not in the wrong. (BTW the site is called myspace.com). A day after we had her shut it down she's not pissed and talking to me as though it never happened, so hopefully she is understanding and accepting of my decision. But there's something else about this that's bothering me. My daughter has always been an honor student involved in school activities since she was able. I consider hor honest and trustworthy and except for a "slut test" I saw she had taken (and fortunately got a score only a parent would appreciate) she posted nothing I would consider inappropriate. However some of these kids, and I've had them over at my house plenty of times, are posting pictures of themselves looking incredibly slutty, like they're drunk or on drugs or as I mentioned before posting stuff that immediately gave me the impression they might benefit from professional help. I'm sure some of it is the hype of beoing able to create a whole new personality just by typing it in, but do I keep what I read and saw about other kids to myself? I have no desire to be a martyr or a snitch, but should other parents have a right to know what I stumbled onto totally by accident?

[outfished]

My Brother had me check myspace.com a few months ago, some of it seems legit, other parts are stictly for adults only. The problem is you never know who's on the other end. My Brother posed as an 18 yr old virgin girl and you wouldn't believe how fast the crap came in. At 15 your daughter is quickly became an adult with the mind of a.....well, 15 yr old. As for the other kids out there on the site, should you alert their parents? I think not, It would take up too much valuable time away from fishin.

[chris L]

jimbo you did the right thing . cause thats what I would have done too . unfortunately most youguns are not aware of the jerks that are out there just waiting for a chance to hurt them or worse .

she will see the light and understand . Maybe a call to the other parents as a heads up . too many have no idea what their kids surf on the web .

[outfished]

One last thing Jim, even though myspace.com may be taken off your computer, the account still exist and can be accessed from any computer. Just a thought, carry on......

[The Dad Fisherman]

I'm a bit of a dink so you can take as much of this as you want.

1st, the PC would be coming out of her room and moved into the den where I can see it.

2nd, I pay the interent bill so I determine what gets done with it, not her.

3rd, and most important, My House, My Rules. The End

too many weirdos out on the Internet


I think you did the Right thing by shutting it down immediately

[capesams]

Originally Posted by The Dad Fisherman

I'm a bit of a dink so you can take as much of this as you want.

1st, the PC would be coming out of her room and moved into the den where I can see it.

2nd, I pay the interent bill so I determine what gets done with it, not her.

3rd, and most important, My House, My Rules. The End

too many weirdos out on the Internet


I think you did the Right thing by shutting it down immediately

I agree on all count's.....it's your roof that's over her head...stand firm, it'll pay off in the long run.

[spence]

I think the important element is to accept there's a line there somewhere in which teens are always going to be doing things you don't want to see. That being said, there are real dangers to exposing too much on the Internet and these rules need to be established and firm.

I'd just make sure she understands what you consider bad and what's acceptable. Taking a slut test probably isn't that big of a deal, but talking about sex with people she doesn't know could be...etc...

-spence