Pointless Abusive Van Staal-Bashing Thread

[fishweewee]

Oh, those TREES. Yes, those trees can be very hard on a reel, they fight good!

[Basstime]

Got Wood?

[davess23]

This is great. I recently got a VS, and after reading this and some similar threads, now I know what to expect when I take it fishing next spring...why don't I just go out there wearing a goddamn tutu, instead?

But thanks, bashers. You've inspired me to develop a product that should sell well enough to let me retire within the next couple years and fish and sail full-time.

What I'm designing is a Van Staal camo-kit, for the guy who wants to fish the surf in public without being labeled a pansy-boy or a dumb-ass yuppie because of his choice of reel.

The kit will clip on to your VS without requiring any modifications to the reel (thanks to all those convenient weight-saving slots and holes).

The basic kit disguises your reel as the appropriate-sized model in the Penn SS or 7 series. It will come with an owner's manual that includes handy phrases that demonstrate the genuine Penn fan's mix of exasperation and appreciation for clunky but reliable Ol' Betsy. Guaranteed effective: so realistic that even when the jetty is elbow-to-elbow, the guy next to you will never guess your dark secret. My target price point for this kit is in the $100 range. Good deal, no?

Of course, for those truly committed hardcores, it's gotta be the deluxe kit. Nothing less will do. This one will be guaranteed to make a VS look as if it's made of high-impact polystyrene (including the main and pinion gears) and came from Wal-mart strapped to one of those 16 foot rods. The kit includes a non-functional broken bail that won't interfere with operation of the reel. The manual contains instructions on faking a gear melt-down while landing a moderate-sized schoolie. The kit also features a long-lasting waterproof "Special Combo: $29.99" price sticker to attach in a prominent position near the reel seat. The deluxe kit should retail at $150-200.

Rich...I'm gonna be rich....wonder if I can just license the concept to Zebco and save myself a lot of development time?

[fishweewee]

Originally posted by davess23
This is great. I recently got a VS, and after reading this and some similar threads, now I know what to expect when I take it fishing next spring...why don't I just go out there wearing a goddamn tutu, instead?

But thanks, bashers. You've inspired me to develop a product that should sell well enough to let me retire within the next couple years and fish and sail full-time.

What I'm designing is a Van Staal camo-kit, for the guy who wants to fish the surf in public without being labeled a pansy-boy or a dumb-ass yuppie because of his choice of reel.

The kit will clip on to your VS without requiring any modifications to the reel (thanks to all those convenient weight-saving slots and holes).

The basic kit disguises your reel as the appropriate-sized model in the Penn SS or 7 series. It will come with an owner's manual that includes handy phrases that demonstrate the genuine Penn fan's mix of exasperation and appreciation for clunky but reliable Ol' Betsy. Guaranteed effective: so realistic that even when the jetty is elbow-to-elbow, the guy next to you will never know your dark secret. My target price point for this kit is in the $100 range. Good deal, no?

Of course, for those truly committed hardcores, it's gotta be the deluxe kit. Nothing less will do. This one will be guaranteed to make a VS look as if it's made of high-impact polystyrene (including the main and pinion gears) and came from Wal-mart strapped to one of those 16 foot rods. The kit includes a non-functional broken bail that won't interfere with operation of the reel. The manual contains instructions on faking a gear melt-down while landing a moderate-sized schoolie. The kit also features a long-lasting waterproof "Special Combo: $29.99" price sticker to attach in a prominent position near the reel seat. The deluxe kit should retail at $150-200.

Rich...I'm gonna be rich....wonder if I can just license the concept to Zebco and save myself a lot of development time?

"In-The-VS-Closet Kit?"

[bassmaster]

Yeah but , tell us how You really feel

[JohnR]

Of course, for those truly committed hardcores, it's gotta be the deluxe kit. Nothing less will do. This one will be guaranteed to make a VS look as if it's made of high-impact polystyrene (including the main and pinion gears) and came from Wal-mart strapped to one of those 16 foot rods. The kit includes a non-functional broken bail that won't interfere with operation of the reel. The manual contains instructions on faking a gear melt-down while landing a moderate-sized schoolie. The kit also features a long-lasting waterproof "Special Combo: $29.99" price sticker to attach in a prominent position near the reel seat. The deluxe kit should retail at $150-200.

Will it come with a Walmart FW Fishin hat? Will there be a pseudo graphite look?