The Longest Thread in History - Page 160 - Striper Talk Striped Bass Fishing, Surfcasting, Boating

bloocrab · 12-28-2002, 11:19 AM

Twas the month after New Year's, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).

I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt---
I said to myself, as I only can
"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"

So--away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
'Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won't have a cookie--not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.

I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore---
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

Goose · 01-03-2003, 10:51 PM

Is there any SHEILD fans out there? Me a big one! Lookin forward to seeing that "ruthless bad boy Mack" kick some more bootie.

Jenn · 01-03-2003, 11:21 PM

Is there any SHEILD fans out there? Me a big one! Lookin forward to seeing that "ruthless bad boy Mack" kick some more bootie.

the other half started watching it last season ...I kept saying....."whatever" and stuffed my nose in a book or something....then found myself watching it with him!!!!

bloocrab · 01-04-2003, 11:29 AM

OSAMA - REVEALED!!!

DaveS · 01-08-2003, 11:23 PM

Just keeps on rolling along............................

Christian · 01-16-2003, 02:46 PM

ive been putting off this thread for a while but this seems like the right time.
200!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bloocrab · 01-23-2003, 11:33 AM

An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato
garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Bubba, who used to
help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and
mentioned his predicament.

Dear Bubba,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to
plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be
digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would
be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.
Love, Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Dad,
"For HEAVEN'S SAKE, Dad, don't dig up the garden! That's where I
buried the GUNS!"
Love, Bubba

At 4 A.M. the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police
officers showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any
guns. They apologized to the old man and left.

That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Dad,
Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. It's the best I could do under
the circumstances.
Love, Bubba

mikecc · 01-23-2003, 12:41 PM

fishsmith · 01-23-2003, 01:03 PM

A West Virginia boy's mother tells him no breakfast until he does his
chores. Well, he's a little pissed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he
kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to
feed the pigs, and he kicks the pig. He goes back in for breakfast and his
mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.
"How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my
cereal?" he asks. "Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so
you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't
get any bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so for a week
you aren't getting any milk.
Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat half way
across the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile,
and
says, "Are you going to tell him, or should I?"

redcrbbr · 01-27-2003, 09:00 PM

i think it is time....

cabin fever is on the increase and i need a release,
have to ralley the gang, maybe drink some spiked tang.
loosen up the mind, and leave these winter blues behind.
we can post all night, it will make everything alright.
do not fear, team looney is here.

Jenn · 01-28-2003, 12:33 AM

ah and you say,
cabin fever is near,
come out and play,
dangit I'm here!
I dreamt of fishies,
and awoke too soon,
thought they were real,
what a bafoon!
fish on my mind,
even at work,
is it springtime??
i feel like a dork!
i stare at the wall,
and see the blue waves,
ihear them all talk,
HOW ODD SHE BEHAVES!!!!
i'm going insane
i'm going to weep
is this so vain???
that I cant even sleep???
slurppp, splish slap zzzzing!
is it so bad
this wonderful thing
driving me mad
silver black stripes
long deep in the night
these are the types
that give a good fight!