Old family expressions--

[The Dad Fisherman]

Another of my Dad's Classics. "Sit Down before I Knock you Down"

[Raven]

having to grow up with 5 other mischievious brothers...

i got blamed for many things as the scape goat....

even if i was off on a walk about.... i knew ever inch of the woods and the charles river...

my dad would say... i only trust you as far as i can throw you.

[justplugit]

"What he needs is a good swift kick in the rear end"


"Keep it up and you'll feel the tip of my shoe"

[justplugit]

Thought of a few more :

"he's a goner"

"look what the cat dragged in"

"it's seen better days"

"ignorance is bliss"

"your guess is as good as mine"

"procrastination is the thief of time"

"as useless as teats on a bull"

and my very favorite of all time--"if BS was $$ we'd all be millionaires"

[Roger]

We're French, so there were always phrases like:
"Pickup your room" translation - clean your room
"next time you run through my garden, go around"
"there it was - gone"

[Mike P]

Originally Posted by Roger

We're French, so there were always phrases like:
"Pickup your room" translation - clean your room
"next time you run through my garden, go around"
"there it was - gone"

And I'll bet you parked the cars in the driveway side by each

[Roger]

Originally Posted by Mike P

And I'll bet you parked the cars in the driveway side by each

I still do

On Tursdee my pepere might yell to my memere, "Gertrude, trow me out the window my keys. I'll bring da machine around front so I can bring you ta go make your stores down Social cwen. When you go ta Halmacs buy a coupla two tree steaks, dare on sale for a buck tree eighty. While you make your stores I’ll pickup the machine and make gas."

Translation for the non-RI French:
On Thursday my grandfather might yell to my grandmother, “Gertrude, throw my keys to me from the window. I’ll bring the car around front and take you to Social Corner to do your grocery shopping. When you go to Almacs, buy a few steaks, they’re on sale for three dollars and eighty cents. While you’re shopping I’ll clean the car and get it filled with gasoline.

Of course, I can’t speak French nearly as well as they could speak English.

[Mike P]

Those two years I worked at the Stop & Shop on Diamond Hill Rd were a blast. You had to know the difference between "hair spray"--Glade or Renuzit--and "air spray"---Clarol.

[missing link]

Mrs Link grew up,in the projects 5 sisters totally on there own, would ask? where's the hair brush? " If it was up your arse you'd know",then they would be called "ungratefull little Chits" if they asked for anything, it was all about their FATHER. but there 5 brothers that lived next door that he wish he had, oh yes the mom was divorced RED HEAD, He bought the boys everything even drove them to school, I never saw the EVIL Farther in action " good thing" & my wife now ,thought back then Ketchup hot water and stale bread was an awesome meal, condiments kept the girls going.
I hope he is rolling over in his hole over and over
ML SR

[striprman]

Ya think our last name is Rockefeller ?
Go get the strap
Just who the f do you think you are ?
Where were you when god passed out brains ?
Looks like the floor needs a good scrubbin' (after I had already scrubbed it 4 times)
Your brother wouldn't do that (ya right)
Your going to bed right after supper
No supper, go straight to bed.
For the 96th millionth time
How many times do I have to tell you ?

[justplugit]

Whata ya think i'm made of money?

[vineyardblues]

I hate to say these but :::

shut the f-in nigger music off.... beatles or monkeys playing ..lol
your as useless as tits on a bull

[PoPin Plug]

dont make me backhand you painfull

[toddonbi]

-Cool your jets.
-The, "You don't know sh@@ from Shinola."
-Hey Capt. A-hole try and get home earlier next time.
-Or if I was late getting up,"It lives, it breathes, it crawls on it's belly like a reptile."
-When bringing girls home for dinner and then going to my room I had to leave a boot in the door so it wasn't shut, one time with a particular hussy I got the, "Hey Capt. Sperm nevermind the boot, just take the doot off it's hinges jack."

[striprman]

Remember the three rules of aging:
1, Never pass up a bathroom stop
2. Never waste a boner
3. Never trust a fart

[toddonbi]

While we are on the topic of farts, my uncle had a good one.
He would bomb us out, practically making us puke from the stink of it all, and when we asked him how can you do that he would reply, "Hey man, everybody likes thier own brand!" --side note use that one at your own risk.

[justplugit]

When it came to someone exagerating or tellin lies-

He talks through his hat.
He says more than his prayers.

[justplugit]

Oh and another in the same vain--

He talks to hear himself talk.

[Raven]

Originally Posted by justplugit

He talks to hear himself talk.

Scientists studying why dogs bark for no apparent reason
discovered that they do it just to hear themselves .
and............
one of the reasons people were found to want to smoke cigarettes
is to know they were still alive because they could see the smoke that they just exhaled.

[Raven]

Originally Posted by Karl F

Or, as Dad would say,
"He plays to an audience, of one."

a little off topic... but your comment reminded me of this .......
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Paul Horn the Flute Player ...who has made recordings in the cheops pyramid in egypt and in the taj mahal too... a long time ago...tho

Anyways, Paul goes walking into the Taj Mahal and gets stopped by the cleric (priest) in there and he says "you can't come in here!"
"this is where we pray to GOD !"

Paul just walked right past him saying....
"i came here: to play to GOD"....and kept on walking.
followed by his recording technician....

[Backbeach Jake]

Originally Posted by Karl F

Or, as Dad would say,
"He plays to an audience, of one."

My Dad's was "He talks just to hear his head rattle"

[mekcotuit]

Originally Posted by toddonbi

While we are on the topic of farts:

"Dear god, what keeps you on the ground?"

or:

"Somethng crawled up inside you and died!"

[ReelinRod]

When I was a know-it-all teenager my Dad used to tell me, "you don't know yet what you don't know yet and you think that makes you smart."

[justplugit]

[QUOTE=Karl F]cool Uncle Karl story..
"Oh $hit!"...
[QUOTE]

Infamous words, handed down from generation to generation.

[Nebe]

you say potato, i say F- You. was my gramp's favorite

[justplugit]

"Don't be listening to every Tom, #^&#^&#^&#^&, and Harry."

[BW from AZ]

Moms quotes, #! "The night before has nothing to do with the following day". Usualy followed by git your butt outta bed and go to work / school etc.
#2 "I ain't running no house of illrepute, if i was i'd be a lot richer than i am, so knock it off. (meaning no girls in your room. HE HE)
#3 Put all your wants in one hand and crap in the other and see which one fills up first.
Dads,#1 "Lockes keep the honest people honest"
#2 "If you don't get caught taking it, don"t get caught taking it back".
#3 "Use the rest room at work and get paid for it" My improvement is getting time and a half for a sat morn dump.
The evil step mother, #1 was allways wanting to "knock me into the middle of next weak". (some day im gonna get a BIG dog to crap on her grave when she dies. wife wont let me do it personaly).

and people wonder why i am the way that i am. BW

[vanstaal]

i guess that ended this forum

[justplugit]

A guy would go to jail and they'd say, "he's in the hoosegow".

[backbeach]

From Dad, "Don't bite your nose to spite your face"....From Mom, regarding excuses beginning with "If", "If the dog didn't stop to have a crap, he would have caught the rabbit"....