I suppose I'd have to kill my fishing partner on the spot so he couldn't tell how/where I caught it.

(sorry Joe, Paul, Eben or John) Make sure I remove all evidence of the eel and eel hook from it's mouth
Drive to the other end of RI and pretend to recatch it on my most expensive namebrand, rod and reel, line and plug AFTER donning every single piece of name brand gear I could find. Then, I'd weigh it at a certified scale, while still wearing said gear (for the photos of course).
after that, a lucrative career opening supermarkets, attending state fairs and being the grand marshal for parades... maybe while wearing a cape with a big striper woven on it. And a scepter shaped like a surf rod. With a crown of needlefish...


