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| StriperTalk! All things Striper |
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02-17-2002, 11:03 PM
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#1
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 470
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Here's another joke:
A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, ''Hey, we have a drink named after you!''
The grasshopper looks surprised and says, ''You have a drink named Steve?''
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Mom by Day
Fishing Widow By Night
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02-17-2002, 11:06 PM
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#2
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 470
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What kind of jokes are you partial to, Goose?
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Mom by Day
Fishing Widow By Night
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02-17-2002, 11:13 PM
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#3
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 470
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Here you go Goose:
''I just got a new set of golf clubs for my wife!''
''Great trade!''
*******************
A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. He was driving his partner nuts. Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long? Hit the blasted ball!"
The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot."
"Forget it, man," said his partner, "you don't stand a snowball's chance in hell of hitting her from here!"
*****************
It's Saturday morning and Bob's just about to set off on a round of golf when he realizes that he forgot to tell his wife that the guy who fixes the washing machine is coming around at noon. So Bob heads back to the clubhouse and phones home.
"Hello?" says a little girl's voice.
"Hi, honey, it's Daddy," says Bob. "Is Mommy near the phone?"
"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank."
After a brief pause, Bob says, "But you haven't got an Uncle Frank, honey!"
"Yes, I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy!"
"Okay, then. Here's what I want you do. Put down the phone, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout in to Mommy and Uncle Frank that my car's just pulled up outside the house."
"Okay, Daddy!" A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone. "Well, I did what you said, Daddy."
"And what happened?"
"Well, Mommy jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and went out the front window and now she's all dead."
"Oh, my God! What about Uncle Frank?"
"He jumped out of bed with no clothes on too, and he was all scared and he jumped out the back window into the swimming pool. But he must have forgot that last week you took out all the water to clean it, so he hit the bottom of the swimming pool and now he's dead too."
There is a long pause.
"Swimming pool? Is this 854-7039?"
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Mom by Day
Fishing Widow By Night
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02-17-2002, 11:13 PM
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#4
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 470
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I'm sticking it out until 130!!!!!
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Mom by Day
Fishing Widow By Night
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02-17-2002, 11:14 PM
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#5
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 470
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Gotta be there soon - must get sleep.....
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Mom by Day
Fishing Widow By Night
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02-17-2002, 11:15 PM
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#6
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 470
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Me either - when are we hitting 130!?!?!?!?!?
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Mom by Day
Fishing Widow By Night
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02-17-2002, 11:16 PM
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#7
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 470
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Okay, if this doesn't do it I give up!!!!
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Mom by Day
Fishing Widow By Night
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02-17-2002, 11:17 PM
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#8
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 470
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Now I'm just pissed - 130 here we come!!
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Mom by Day
Fishing Widow By Night
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02-17-2002, 11:18 PM
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#9
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 470
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Thank goodness!! In the immortal words of Donny and Marie Osmond - "Goodnight Everybody!!!"
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Mom by Day
Fishing Widow By Night
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02-18-2002, 08:35 AM
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#10
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 470
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Good Morning Everyone:
Happy President's Day!!
Nice and sunny down here in Rhody - no snow, but a little cold!
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Mom by Day
Fishing Widow By Night
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02-18-2002, 08:36 AM
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#11
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 470
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Hey Red - how's it going?
Jenn and Ox: you did a good job of pushing it to 2000 last night - way to go!
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Mom by Day
Fishing Widow By Night
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02-18-2002, 08:38 AM
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#12
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 470
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We must be l#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&g out big time this year - we haven't gotten half of the snow you've gotten.
The winter that wasn't a winter - I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. We're going to have a March blizzard for sure.
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Mom by Day
Fishing Widow By Night
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02-18-2002, 01:51 PM
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#13
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 470
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I'm sneaking in to take it to 138! Anyone want to stop me?
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Mom by Day
Fishing Widow By Night
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02-18-2002, 01:52 PM
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#14
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 470
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The little one is napping and I can get a couple of posts...
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Mom by Day
Fishing Widow By Night
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02-18-2002, 02:14 PM
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#15
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 470
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Had to take a break - the little one is not cooperating with this nap thing....
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Mom by Day
Fishing Widow By Night
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02-18-2002, 02:15 PM
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#16
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 470
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I don't think you stink, Red. Especially if I get to take the next page......
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Mom by Day
Fishing Widow By Night
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02-18-2002, 02:16 PM
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#17
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 470
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Got the taxes done today -
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Mom by Day
Fishing Widow By Night
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02-18-2002, 02:17 PM
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#18
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 470
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Step back from the edge, Red!!
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Mom by Day
Fishing Widow By Night
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02-18-2002, 02:17 PM
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#19
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 470
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Gotta be getting close to 139, right?
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Mom by Day
Fishing Widow By Night
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02-18-2002, 02:20 PM
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#20
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 470
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Hellooo 139!
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Mom by Day
Fishing Widow By Night
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02-18-2002, 02:21 PM
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#21
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 470
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Pretty sad when the best part of my day is getting the next page on this thread.....
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Mom by Day
Fishing Widow By Night
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02-18-2002, 02:29 PM
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#22
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 470
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Actually I have, just got to find it.
Looks like the nap for Liam is a no go - so I'm going to have to go away for a while.
Might be up for a marathon tonight - John is going to be out with Bloo ( I think) so I will have time to get a couple of pages under my belt.
Maybe by then I can get this icon updated.....
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Mom by Day
Fishing Widow By Night
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02-18-2002, 02:41 PM
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#23
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 470
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Thanks for the advice, Red. What do you think of the one I found?
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Mom by Day
Fishing Widow By Night
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02-18-2002, 02:44 PM
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#24
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 470
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Hey Bloo!! I don't want him turning completely over to the Bloo side, if you know what I mean!
Okay, taking the little one out - have fun posting everyone!!!
See you later tonight!
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Mom by Day
Fishing Widow By Night
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02-18-2002, 04:29 PM
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#25
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 470
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Hey guys - getting close to a new page - Watching the hockey game (finland/russia) and listening to my son play cymbals with pot lids......
I think I need an aspirin....
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Mom by Day
Fishing Widow By Night
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02-18-2002, 04:29 PM
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#26
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 470
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Finland just scored - now tied 1/1
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Mom by Day
Fishing Widow By Night
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02-18-2002, 04:30 PM
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#27
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 470
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Here comes 142!!!
Wow, is it really 4:30?
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Mom by Day
Fishing Widow By Night
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02-18-2002, 04:31 PM
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#28
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 470
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This is a pretty good hockey game -
I just want the next page.........
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Mom by Day
Fishing Widow By Night
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02-18-2002, 04:34 PM
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#29
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 470
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Come on next page!!!!
My bologna has a first name......
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Mom by Day
Fishing Widow By Night
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02-18-2002, 04:35 PM
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#30
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 470
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It's O S C A R.......
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Mom by Day
Fishing Widow By Night
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