The Brothers' Wars

[BassDawg]

Now that Larry's youngest is outta the woods, medically speaking, his
dilemma brought back many funny and not so funny memories
between me and my kid brother.

Sounds like there are some real hilarious stories out there that we all survived, but freaked us and our parents out at the time? Anyone care to chime in? it's still TFCTF in my neck of the surf!!!

[Gunpowder]

I have two.... the first one is just plain hilarious the second is just plain stupid so try not to judge me ...

1.) brother and I argue over who gets the remote, I say no even though I flat out no its his turn to watch his show but I'm a senior in HS at the time and have some seniority (as every senior believes)... well he got pretty ticked and tried to grab it form me, I smacked him in the head and that set him off..... next thing I know he is reallllyyyyyy winding up for a big punch. however, being the clever older brother that I am, I turn my back to him and he wallops me right in the spine. Next thing I know he is balling his eyes out and I'm like what could of happened it didn't even hurt me that much. After an hour he is still like my hand really hurts and I was like well it suits you well but I'll take you to the hospital to have an xray done. VERDICT: hand broken in 6 different places I was dying when the doctor came in and told him that.

ok story #2............. with the same brother ------> he got his revenge

2.) ok on the vineyard for thanksgiving and and with my two cousins... my brother is now about 14 and i'm about 18. my cousins took us into the woods to show us something (cant remember now what it was) but anyways we went for a walk. my brother was way up front and it was foggy out so i thought it would be funny to try to freak him out by throwing a rock in the woods right next to him. well i scared the ^%&%^& out of him . i'm casually walking along now and i see my brother winding up with something in his hand but as it is foggy i can't tell if he actually threw it or not. next second later, a palm sized rock / boulder comes down on my head form about 35 yards away. he musta launched this thing into the trees and it came down on my head. i was FURIOUS. I felt my head where the rock hit and ran over to him and punched him in the face. i thought i killed him cause all of a sudden blood splashed everywhere on him. but then i realize and the look of panic on his face confirmed that my head was gushingggg blood out of it. i left a solid trail in the woods as we ran home and went for a nice little ride to the MV hospital..... mom was not too happy.

all in good fun of course brothers will always be brothers

[Huge Dinghy]

here's mine...me and my bro who is two years older...went out before detention and..um...smoked....so the, of all people, principal comes into detention..."I smell smot"..."i'm comming around to smell everyones fingers to see who it was"...course I'm infront of my older bro and his friends who were with us......so the p-pal gets to me...I give it a swipe...."THATS SHAT, THATS REALLY SHAT!"..as he wipes his upper lip and runs out....never even got in trouble....names Brain, sorry if this story offends anyone.....

[Goose]

Did any of you make guns as a kid. Take 30"length of hockey stick staple several rubber bands to the end(the rubber bands they used to use for newspapers) then secure close pin to the other end and shoot bottle caps, can thumb tabs. Lets just say somebody's gonna loose an eye. Thankfully he was ok.

At work I see this strange raspberry looking thing growing on a plant. It looked just like a raspberry except was bigger, same color and everything. I cut it off took it home, when I got home I told him " dude I had a bunch of these they are wicked good...I saved you one.......lololol for give me lolol At first he didn't beleive me but I told him "If you don't want it, just say so.""....he ran around the house screaming in pain, my Mom was BS at me. We still see those raspberrys watchamacallits and laugh about it.

[BassDawg]

Hilarious, Gunpowder!

That second story is a little scary, but being the older brother, i get it! Some may think we're deranged, but they've not lived it to know the depths of sibling bitter rivalry and the heighths of brotherly Love. Those of us who survived the Wars can laff about those bizarre days when, boyz would be boyz and brothers always brothers .

1) We were in our late twenties and living in Ft Myers, doing Ironwork.
We'd met some Ironworkers from Buffalo, NY and in the interest of handing them the keys to our fair town we introduced them to the local dance teams, club by club.

One night it was just after our work softball practice and my li'l bro was in the process of beating the whole club in arm wrestling. this one guy more than once, and for close to a c-note. Anyways.................the guy gets pissed and says he won't pay the last monies due, and including myself and Chief (6'-6", 275#, Mohawk, Ironworker) we are severly outnumbered, at first glance 4/5 to 1. I can't get my bro to back down, but after awhile he agrees to walk away after the schlub buys him and me a drink.

We tell Chief that it's time to go, he says he'll stay. My brother and i walk out, arms over shoulders, me sort of pushing us to get out. So, wise arse is walking behind us with three of his buddies, Chief is behind them. Cal, my bro, and i stop to talk to the dude, but before we can do that......Chief picks this yahoo up by the neck and dangles his feet to the tune of, "These are my friends and what did you want to talk with them about?"

Within ten seconds the place empties, two bouncers, the owner, and 20 or so eager participants. the odds jumped to like 10 to 1, oh yeah and they had two tazers. Ever fight while wearing cleats on brick. it was CRAZY!! You'd square off, throw some good punches keep moving, take out a couple dudes then ZZZZZAAAAAPPP! And fall into a heap. Get up, go to the next group and better the odds, as much as possible, and then get ZZZZZAAAAPPPPPED, AGAIN!!

Now the girls have come out, cause nobody's in the bar and it's Thursday night, and Cal's girl has dropped one of the dancers. My bro's girl~at the time~ was a tuff chick from the wrongside of Philly. She had a quick right, and didn't like where we were in the first place. Cal was getting tazered, too. This continued until the cops came and we were just able to stop them from stomping in Chief's head. They had somehow separated us long enuff to drop Chief.....................

We all made it to work the next day and Chief got released from the ER within a couple of hours. The weird thing was nobody went to jail that night. The owner knew me pretty well, my brother less, and i guess Chief had tipped rather well that night. The more ironic thing was the worst i got, that whole night, was those stinking ZZZZAAAAPPPPPPS and falling into a heap like a sack of potatoes!!!

[Sudsrat]

My older brother and I were shooting at tin plate targets tacked onto a styrofoam surfboard propped up against a tree in the woods at our lake house in North Jersey.
I was 10......he was 12.
I was shooting a recurve bow with target arrows and he was shooting a BB gun.
Naturally with the arrows,I had to go up and retrieve them from the target after each set.
So my bro thinks it's funny to fire off a round while I'm yanking arrows out of the target.
Hits me right in the soft part of the hand between the thumb and 1st finger!!
mf'er.............I spin and load an arrow and let it go!
He saw me loading up and ducked behind a tree....................
stuck his head out just a tad to look, as the arrow was just nearing him...........................
dam if that arrow didn't lift up a lock of his hair as it flew on by.
We just looked at each other and said Oh S***!...............
and swore never to screw around like that again.................
yeah right........
still have the scar.

[NIB]

I never could hit my younger brother full on in a fight.I always pulled back.We would wrastle quite a bit where I would not let him hit me.I did put my fist thru the window of his first car.A chevy Nova.I remember the off colored door we got to replace it at the junkyard..We also had a foster brother who lived with us from age 10-19.He was bigger than me but not as smart.In High School he broke the record for dead lift an squat at the time.Somewhere's around 1100 lbs..The Freak...I still ruled as the alpha male..I had to make up other tactics to win.

[BassDawg]

I hear ya NIB, i never could "punch" my younger bro, who was husky ~as a kid~ and bigger than me our whole lives. His kids are hosses too. That reminds me of another laffer when we were kids at our house..................

Who remembers the wrist rockets craze of the early seventies?
ALL of us had them, those and the two hard plastic balls tied together by a string coming out of each one and a ring in the middle ('72-'74??). Remember clacking them together at high rates of speed and deafening tones??? But that's a different story.............

We used to play WAR with real acorns and no goggles, you just had to dodge, juke, duck behind the oaks, elms, and hedges. Heaven forbid you should drive down any of our streets after 3:20 and before suppertime.

The first day we got them, Li'l bro was the designated moving target. We were gonna take turns, he just wanted to go first and prolly never thought we'd nail him?!!? I think it was my three best friends and i. We were 13 and he was 12. The "killing field" was a drop of about 15' below our sniper positions on the above pool deck and patio area that wrapped a portion of the back side of the house.

Funny thing was, he never copped to any of the body shots, "Missed me!" "NOPE! Not that time!" "THWACK! MAWWWWWM! Who the FFFFF shot me in the NOSE!!!" he came screaming up the hill with a direct hit to that place between the upper lip and the nostrils, the flesh ripped wide open, three stitches later, and we never knew who made the direct hit, because my buddies got sent home, immediately!??

It wasn't me, THAT time, although i have my suspicions...........................man was he pissed!!

[Gunpowder]

Originally Posted by NIB

I did put my fist thru the window of his first car.A chevy Nova.

Wow good thing you didn't hit his face

[Backbeach Jake]

My brothers and I gave one another stitches, broken arms, broken legs, black eyes and our parents most evil glares and sermons. I can't believe that we survived each other to this day. But, there are no other men who I would trust as I trust them to this day. Best men I know. My best friends.

[BassDawg]

Well said, BB!

My little brother, too!
Couldn't anybody get inbetween us when we would GO!
And there was not too many that would take us on,
when we were together. My best friend, by farrrrr!

Only one cat that knows the real me and my WHOLE story
and still LOVES me, ~and I him~ for who we are today!
There is NOTHING on earth thicker than BLOOD!