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Old 04-15-2009, 06:11 PM   #1
Tagger
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Great Job George ...

George W. Bush's Resume






George W. Bush (Dubya)
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave., NW
Washington, D.C. 20500

Past Work Experience

Ran for congress and lost.
Produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.
Bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas; company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
Bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago White Sox.
With father's help (and his name) was elected Governor of Texas.
Accomplishments in Previous Positions

Changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas the most polluted state in the Union.

Replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog-ridden city in America. Cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

Set record for most executions by any governor in American history.

Became president after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes, with the help of my father's appointments to the Supreme Court.

Accomplishments As President

Attacked and took over two countries.
Spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.
Shattered record for biggest annual deficit in history.
Set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.
Set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.
First president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
First president in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.
First year in office set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in U.S. history.
After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.
Set the record for most campaign fundraising trips than any other president in U.S. history.
In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their job.
Cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any president in U.S. history.
Set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
Appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in U.S. history.
Set the record for the least amount of press conferences than any president since the advent of television.
Signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any president in U.S. history.
Presided over the biggest energy crises in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.
Presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history and refused to use the national reserves as past presidents have.
Cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.
Set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.
Dissolved more international treaties than any president in U.S. history.
My presidency is the most secretive and unaccountable of any in U.S. history.
Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history (the 'poorest' multimillionaire, Condoleezza Rice, has an Exxon oil tanker named after her).
First president in U.S. history to have all 50 states of the Union simultaneously go bankrupt.
Presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any country in the history of the world.
First president in U.S. history to order a U.S. attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation.
Created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.
Set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any president in U.S. history.
First president in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the human rights commission.
First president in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the elections monitoring board.
Removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional oversight than any presidential administration in U.S. history.
Rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.
Withdrew from the World Court of Law.
Refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. prisoners of war and by default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
First president in U.S. history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. elections).
All-time U.S. (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.
My biggest lifetime campaign contributor presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).
Spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in U.S. history.
First president in U.S. history to unilaterally attack a sovereign nation against the will of the United Nations and the world community.
First president to run and hide when the U.S. came under attack (and then lied saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1)
First U.S. president to establish a secret shadow government.
Took the biggest world sympathy for the U.S. after 9/11, and in less than a year made the U.S. the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in U.S. and world history).
With a policy of 'disengagement' created the most hostile Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.
Fist U.S. president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.
First U.S. president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the U.S. than their immediate neighbor, North Korea.
Changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
Set all-time record for number of administration appointees who violated U.S. law by not selling huge investments in corporations bidding for government contracts.
Failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive.'
Failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of our country at the United States Capital building. After 18 months I have no leads and zero suspects.
In the 18 months following the 9/11 attacks I have successfully prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of the United States.
Removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in U.S. history.
In a little over two years created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided the U.S. has ever been since the Civil War.
Entered office with the strongest economy in U.S. history and in less than two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.
Records and References

At least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving record has been erased and is not available)
AWOL from National Guard and deserted the military during a time of war.
Refuse to take drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.
All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my father's library, sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.
For personal references please speak to my daddy or uncle James Baker (they can be reached at their offices of the Carlyle Group for war-profiteering.)
Source: Kelley Kramer

With all the Obama bashing in the first 100 days, thought we'd take a moment to remember George ..
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Old 04-15-2009, 06:18 PM   #2
eastendlu
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Yep thats how i remember him too.

Originally Posted by Flaptail
"Throw plugs like we do that will cause them to suffer humility. Pogies make any fisherman look good when bass are around. Bait is easy."
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Old 04-15-2009, 06:38 PM   #3
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That Kelley Kramer's a busy little lib. She has it all figured out
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Old 04-15-2009, 06:44 PM   #4
detbuch
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tagger View Post
George W. Bush's Resume






George W. Bush (Dubya)
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave., NW
Washington, D.C. 20500

Past Work Experience

Ran for congress and lost.
Produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.
Bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas; company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
Bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago White Sox.
With father's help (and his name) was elected Governor of Texas.
Accomplishments in Previous Positions

Changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas the most polluted state in the Union.

Replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog-ridden city in America. Cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

Set record for most executions by any governor in American history.

Became president after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes, with the help of my father's appointments to the Supreme Court.

Accomplishments As President

Attacked and took over two countries.
Spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.
Shattered record for biggest annual deficit in history.
Set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.
Set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.
First president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
First president in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.
First year in office set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in U.S. history.
After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.
Set the record for most campaign fundraising trips than any other president in U.S. history.
In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their job.
Cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any president in U.S. history.
Set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
Appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in U.S. history.
Set the record for the least amount of press conferences than any president since the advent of television.
Signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any president in U.S. history.
Presided over the biggest energy crises in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.
Presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history and refused to use the national reserves as past presidents have.
Cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.
Set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.
Dissolved more international treaties than any president in U.S. history.
My presidency is the most secretive and unaccountable of any in U.S. history.
Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history (the 'poorest' multimillionaire, Condoleezza Rice, has an Exxon oil tanker named after her).
First president in U.S. history to have all 50 states of the Union simultaneously go bankrupt.
Presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any country in the history of the world.
First president in U.S. history to order a U.S. attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation.
Created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.
Set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any president in U.S. history.
First president in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the human rights commission.
First president in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the elections monitoring board.
Removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional oversight than any presidential administration in U.S. history.
Rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.
Withdrew from the World Court of Law.
Refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. prisoners of war and by default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
First president in U.S. history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. elections).
All-time U.S. (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.
My biggest lifetime campaign contributor presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).
Spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in U.S. history.
First president in U.S. history to unilaterally attack a sovereign nation against the will of the United Nations and the world community.
First president to run and hide when the U.S. came under attack (and then lied saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1)
First U.S. president to establish a secret shadow government.
Took the biggest world sympathy for the U.S. after 9/11, and in less than a year made the U.S. the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in U.S. and world history).
With a policy of 'disengagement' created the most hostile Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.
Fist U.S. president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.
First U.S. president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the U.S. than their immediate neighbor, North Korea.
Changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
Set all-time record for number of administration appointees who violated U.S. law by not selling huge investments in corporations bidding for government contracts.
Failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive.'
Failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of our country at the United States Capital building. After 18 months I have no leads and zero suspects.
In the 18 months following the 9/11 attacks I have successfully prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of the United States.
Removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in U.S. history.
In a little over two years created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided the U.S. has ever been since the Civil War.
Entered office with the strongest economy in U.S. history and in less than two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.
Records and References

At least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving record has been erased and is not available)
AWOL from National Guard and deserted the military during a time of war.
Refuse to take drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.
All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my father's library, sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.
For personal references please speak to my daddy or uncle James Baker (they can be reached at their offices of the Carlyle Group for war-profiteering.)
Source: Kelley Kramer

With all the Obama bashing in the first 100 days, thought we'd take a moment to remember George ..
Wow! That's an awful lot of accomplishments for a dummy. More, in number, than I've ever heard attributed to any President in American history. And not a positive one in the lot. Except, maybe, in some opinions, those relating to the U.N. AND HE WON A SECOND TERM. I guess the American electorate is even stupider than W. And they voted for Obama too.
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Old 04-15-2009, 07:41 PM   #5
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forgot to mention

secretly a Member of Skulls and Bones..... Secretly shhhhhhh....
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Old 04-15-2009, 07:51 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by buckman View Post
That Kelley Kramer's a busy little lib. She has it all figured out
If it walks like a duck.
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Old 04-15-2009, 08:29 PM   #7
Mike P
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Well---that bit about executing the first federal prisoner in decades--the guy he juiced was one Timothy McVeigh, who blew up a federal building in Oklahoma City and killed a couple hundred folks, including babies in a day care center.

I tend to think that even Al Gore or John Kerry would have pulled the switch on that one

Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools, because they have to say something.
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Old 04-15-2009, 09:00 PM   #8
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He is a POS, to quote a Buckmanism
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Old 04-15-2009, 10:08 PM   #9
Cpt. Crunch
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George Bush is a Hero and a Patriot. He deserves all of our respect. He kept us safe form the terrorists and the gays. Us freedom loving Americans understand that.

Currently, 61% of Americans approve of the way that Barack Obama is handling his job as president while 26% disapprove.
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Old 04-16-2009, 05:48 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cpt. Crunch View Post
George Bush kept us safe from the terrorists :
Well put
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Old 04-16-2009, 06:59 AM   #11
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One good thing I would say about him (and his wife) is that he showed a lot of class during the transition in how he treated Obama and has refused to say anything critical about Obama (keeping w/tradition). Cheeney is another matter. I wouldn't call Bush a POS.
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Old 04-16-2009, 07:06 AM   #12
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Quote:
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Well put
you can't say "terrorist" anymore....

they're "Religeon Redistributionists"
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Old 04-16-2009, 07:17 AM   #13
JohnR
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Quote:
Originally Posted by scottw View Post
you can't say "terrorist" anymore....

they're "Religeon Redistributionists"
And no longer GWOT but Overseas Contingency Operations

The last 8 years were miserable and George was one of the worst presidents in the past hundred (maybe overall) and will probably enjoy a Carteresque reflection on his administration (though without the post presidency late career glossiness). The bleep up after bleep up would almost be funny if it were not so depressing.

The last 8 years of Congress were equally miserable too. And WE THE PEOPLE elected these frauds.

Miserable, as is the division of the country, accelerated over the last 8 (16?) years.

But yes, Bush did an adequate job in keeping the country safe. More accurately the DOD and Homeland Security did a good job.

My personal biggest beef with Gdubya is Iraq. Never should have happened - certainly the way it did. A big bunch of our problems were as a result.

My biggest problem with Congress and the Left wing was that once that Iraq upgefucht had happened, clicking heels three times and wanting to go home was a fantasyland non option.

Looking through the Left Wing and Right Wing lenses is really hurting us. I hope the next 4 get us more unified. But that is hope, not expectation.

~Fix the Bait~ ~Pogies Forever~

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Old 04-16-2009, 07:58 AM   #14
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Obamas resume would fit on an index card

for Bush's he left off -
Appointed more minorities to senior level federal government positions than any president in history
Donated more funding to AIDS victims/prevention than any president in history

making s-b.com a kinder, gentler place for all
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Old 04-16-2009, 08:21 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RIJIMMY View Post
for Bush's he left off -
Appointed more minorities to senior level federal government positions than any president in history
Donated more funding to AIDS victims/prevention than any president in history
If these are his biggest "accomplishments", I wish we could vote him in for another 8 years.

Quite frankly, I don't care how many minorities are appointed to senior level positions. I want the best person for the job appointed to senior level positions.
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Old 04-16-2009, 08:31 AM   #16
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Let's just forget about him, I am sure history will.
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Old 04-16-2009, 10:40 AM   #17
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He will go down as the GREATEST PRESIDENT the world has ever seen. The Iraqi history books will simply refer to him as "Father Freedom". It is our job as the greatest country in the world to spread freedom and democracy to oil rich countries across the globe. He tried to build that wall across the border to keep out the mexicans and the gays. but libs thought it would be better to invite the terrorist over for tea and back rubs

Currently, 61% of Americans approve of the way that Barack Obama is handling his job as president while 26% disapprove.
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