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Grumpy Old Pharts Board Gerritol, Ex-Lax, Immodium, Bad Breath - all requirements for the Grumpy Board

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Old 01-19-2007, 01:48 PM   #1
justplugit
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Angry smart A-- little

bastage. I have this one squirrel that's been around 2 years. He can get in any squirrel proof feeder ever invented. Cockey as they come and struts around like he's King Tut.
Yesterday he turned the suet feeder upside down and carried off the suet cake. Sooz i wired it shut.
Today he comes, early, chews the cage off and i catch him running across the street with the whole shooting match. By the time i get out there he and the feeder are gone, the feeder for ever, but not his wise little tail.

His A-- is grass.

" Choose Life "
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Old 01-19-2007, 01:59 PM   #2
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some aren't destructive...

others seem to live for it...

gotta shoot those
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Old 01-19-2007, 02:11 PM   #3
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HMMM, time to make a nice noose of braid, make sure it's attached your beefiest pluggin rod, put the little beasts favorite treat in it... hide and when the little thief shows his bushy tail... set the hook!... they go absolutly nuts when encased in a snare.....

I had one stealing eggplants a few years ago, never had a problen until that one, I set up the snare and nailed his hairy little carcass,, he did escape after totaly spazing out.. he never stole another eggplant!
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Old 01-19-2007, 02:17 PM   #4
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Birds are impervious to capsasin (hot peppers). Squirrels are not. Lace all your bird food with hot chili peppers and the squirrels won't bother with it.

The future ain't what it used to be. --Yogi Berra
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Old 01-19-2007, 02:20 PM   #5
Christian
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buy a pellet rifle.
they have these new pellets, depending on the gun you buy, they can go supersonic. they go directly through squirrels.
good luck

live to fish. fish to live. rod tips high.
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Old 01-19-2007, 02:46 PM   #6
vanstaal
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get the snagging rod ,u can practice so your arm won't stiffen up over this winter

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a
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Old 01-19-2007, 02:53 PM   #7
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Finished hooks with squirrel tails
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Old 01-19-2007, 03:13 PM   #8
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I wouldnt mess with it . here you have a tree rat that can think on his hind legs . I would feed him and eat the birds myself
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Old 01-19-2007, 03:38 PM   #9
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Drown the mf-er

Take a 5 gallon bucket, half fill it with water, then smear some peanut butter around the inside above the water line. Build the little bastage a ramp by placing a piece of wood against the bucket. Hopefully he'll perch on the rim of the bucket to try to get at the peanut butter, and fall in. Once his tail gets soaked, he's dead meat

Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools, because they have to say something.
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Old 01-19-2007, 06:04 PM   #10
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Quote:
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Drown the mf-er

Take a 5 gallon bucket, half fill it with water, then smear some peanut butter around the inside above the water line. Build the little bastage a ramp by placing a piece of wood against the bucket. Hopefully he'll perch on the rim of the bucket to try to get at the peanut butter, and fall in. Once his tail gets soaked, he's dead meat
wow a lot of thought in this a lot of time on your hands is that like salt on a birds tail ????

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Old 01-19-2007, 06:23 PM   #11
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I bet that'd be a good fight on a 3 weight flyrod
LMAO Scott.

I was thinking about using the old inverted box trap held up by a stick and a string. Run the string to the kitchen window, and when he goes under to eat, chazam i got his sorry arse.
Killed a bird that way once when i was a kid, the box fell on his head.
Felt guilty for days.

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Old 01-19-2007, 07:14 PM   #12
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They are very suceptible to a pellet fired from a pump pellet gun. I am in the squirrel hunting hall of fame. Just ask my wife. She demanded I stop shooting the little rat bast....! Have-a-hearts work well too. I trapped a ton of them and removed them to another part of town across the river, so unless they walked all the way back on a road I know they sure as hell didn't swim the river. If you shoot them in the hip area you may find to be humane another shot to the head is necassry. It sounds like your mad enough to shoot em twice anyhow.

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Old 01-19-2007, 08:00 PM   #13
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I have the pelt of one that destroyed two of my bird feeders - got out of the shower one day and saw that he was gnawing another one. Got the bow out opened the window and took him out. Skinned him out and used it for fly tying. Wish I could have shot that well at deer.

The bucket trick is a very effective way to remove pesky chipmunks as well - I have heard you float sunflower seeds on the water and they lean over to get them and they are all done.
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Old 01-19-2007, 10:10 PM   #14
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Get a hanging feeder(s).
2 feet 80# Ande mono.
6 years I have never seen a squirrel even attempt to get at it.
They are in the attic.
But not the feeder.

Does the bucket trick work for groundhogs?
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Old 01-20-2007, 08:31 AM   #15
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Cool i'd yell squirrel !

out the door the dingo goes to tree the bastage....

then i take the walkin tall stick
(similar to an austalian throwing stick)

and start throwing it up into the tree ...it's incredibly accurate

or i am.... then the squirell has to leap to safety a forty foot to the

ground jump and a huge thud when it slams the ground (ouchies)

with the dingo right on it's heals... several times i've done this

as fair warning... if this and the hav-a-heart trap fails i just blastem

with one shot with the 20 guage....and that sums it up.
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Old 01-20-2007, 09:21 AM   #16
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Cayenne pepper. Bird's aren't bothered by it, squirrels provide great entertainment.
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Old 01-20-2007, 10:52 AM   #17
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I bought one of these this past fall and so far so good...around $80.00. If that fails, a Sheridan air rifle will make quick work of him...not that I know from experience or anything

"Hey...get off my rock!!!!"
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Old 01-20-2007, 12:06 PM   #18
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Unhappy

Ya BN, that feeder worked for years til this smart arse showed up. He puts both hind feet on the pole, snakes around with one leg under the closer bar, which prevents it from closing, and one on top sooz he can reach in with his head and get the seed.

I'd shoot him in a minute, cept i got this nosey neighbor who would turn me in. Friend of mine got caught using his 22 and had to go to court. Cost him $1000 fine, but worse they confiscated all his guns, and as a hunter he had 6.

I'll try the have a hart with some peanut butter, spray his tail pink and take him 5 miles away and see if he comes back.

" Choose Life "
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Old 01-20-2007, 12:50 PM   #19
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My Husky is hell on squirrels. Thinks they are great toys cause after you are done playing with them, you get to eat them. For a few plugs, I might rent her out to you

Jigman
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Old 01-20-2007, 06:28 PM   #20
justplugit
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Talking

She would be right at home with the weather here today, Jigster.

" Choose Life "
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Old 01-26-2007, 02:45 PM   #21
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get a rubberband gun if u can get withing 10-15 feet of it..... other wise get a airsoft gun or something

i need fish!
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Old 01-26-2007, 06:51 PM   #22
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pellet gun (1000 fps min. ) -- aim for the head---don't ruin the meat -- tastes like chicken

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day ...
show him where to fish and ... you'll be sorry
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Old 01-26-2007, 08:56 PM   #23
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Cabela sell air guns that rival firearms. Shoot through an open and the nosey neighbors won't know a thing, unless a badly wounded one decided to climb their screen and bleed out. Don't ask how I know this... Squirrels are quite tasty actually, hunted them in my youth for food. Looong time ago and very far away-'nother life altogether.

He that would make his own liberty secure, must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty, he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself.
Thomas Paine
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Old 02-01-2007, 07:54 PM   #24
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Cabela sell air guns that rival firearms. Shoot through an open and the nosey neighbors won't know a thing, unless a badly wounded one decided to climb their screen and bleed out. Don't ask how I know this... Squirrels are quite tasty actually, hunted them in my youth for food. Looong time ago and very far away-'nother life altogether.
Did you say they were tasty or pasty? I stopped hunting them years ago because they look and taste like rat [ of course I've never had rat so that's only a guess]. If you have a good receipe I'd love to see it.
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Old 02-02-2007, 11:07 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Backbeach Jake View Post
Cabela sell air guns that rival firearms. Shoot through an open and the nosey neighbors won't know a thing, unless a badly wounded one decided to climb their screen and bleed out. Don't ask how I know this... Squirrels are quite tasty actually, hunted them in my youth for food. Looong time ago and very far away-'nother life altogether.
So the Cabelas air rifles are that good?
I went the cheaper route.
Trumark wrist rocket & 5 pounds of 1/4" shot.
(Brought back fond memories of my juvenile delinquency.)
Not squirrels but a pair of fat groundhogs in my yard.
It's amazing how fast they can move when they hear the screen go up.
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Old 02-02-2007, 11:23 PM   #26
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Old 02-02-2007, 11:44 PM   #27
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Talking when i was in the mountains

we had a gopher problem ok....so one day i dig out a tunnel

i'm like bill murry i worked at a golf course and got paid to do it.

but i burried a grip trap...and was checking it out because it was tripped...

so i'm thinkin... cool i got one... ya bastages...
i go and kneel down to empty the trap grabbing it out
of the main tunnel.... and son of BEOTCH it wasn't
a gopher i caught but a three foot pissed off snake...
which recoiled and yanked that trap back out of my hands
so freakin fast it scared the crap out of me....
because it coulda been
a rattler (rattlesnake)
i've had many many adventures with those!
but luckily it was a gopher snake instead.

but anyways.... talk about fast...them gophers could
duck a 22 long rifle bullet if you aimed for their head
which would pop up just like at the shooting gallery.
so i had to skip the damned bullet off the dirt just in front
of the whole to gettem
...and i'd still just catch them in the head
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Old 02-03-2007, 12:45 AM   #28
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I would love to fix my gopher/groundhog problem this way.
A little bit of overkill, but it will definitely work......
http://www.snipercountrypx.com/p-333...ark-earth.aspx

(Take care of all of the neighbors that I don't like within a mile and a half while I'm at it.)
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Old 02-11-2007, 10:50 AM   #29
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Talking some can be trained to water ski

doh..........

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Old 02-11-2007, 11:14 AM   #30
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A good quality airrifle with a decent scope will fix the problem every time.
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