Advice Needed...

[spinncognito]

Surely some of you have had this dilemma before...

I am dealing with my stubborn, aging Italian father and his gradual decline. Although only 74, he has had a series of falls, mishaps and surgeries to fix bones broken in the falls/mishaps. He also has diabetes and is starting to more frequently "forget" what he is talking about or stumble through his story-telling.

My problem is his driving. This past week he has had two incidents. First, he busted a tie-rod on his pick-up but decided it was a better idea to drive with the snapped tire for more than a mile to the shop. He somehow managed to scrape his way there but the bumper fell off on the way and the tire was so hot it was amost on fire when he got there. Then on Saturday i get a call from the local police who tell me he was driving on route128- THE WRONG WAY. Someone stopped him and got him turned around before calling in the plates.

So, my siblings and I got together with his wife and went to his house for the "intervention". It did not go well. He refused to give up his license despite all the promises of a ride whenever and wherever he needed one. He became beligerent and starting screaming at us all to get out of his house.

He is a sweet man, an oldtime draggerman, a great father and grandfather but he is simply not safe to drive anymore. His wife is overwhelmed and hopeless at this point. Myself and my siblings can not get through to him. Even when we eventually call the doctor and they take his license away, he will likely still drive.

While I truly understand that giving up independence must be the worst thing in the world for him to agree to do, I cannot allow him to drive and kill himself or others. We gave him the chance to decide for himself but now we are at a loss as to what to do next.

How have any of you folks dealt with this circumstance with aging/declining parents? Any advice on how to get him to realize he is not safe to drive? He drove down to the shop this morning to make sure they are going to fix his truck....

Thanx in advance for any suggestions...

Paul