Teenagers are pushing my bottons

[tattoobob]

My daughter thinks it is ok to just do whatever she wants never once does she listen to anyone never does anything to help around the house, and will not listen to simple rules, last night I came home from a walk about 10pm and take a shower, she had 2 friends over, well I get out of the shower and I had to waters left I walk out in my towel and go to the fridge, the girls are there drinking them I open the door and I am like where is all my waters. they just look and said but we were thursty wtf. now I am like kinda pissed and didn't want to look like a A-hole so I went to get dressed. and I come out and now there are 2 boys there and they are all drinking the last of the caprie suns juices, just gave my wife a look like what is going on, and went to bed.

[reelecstasy]

I woulda wrote them out a bill, and let them know-cash only

[likwid]

Allowance?

Go get a Brita filter and take it out of their allowance.

[vineyardblues]

Let it go, trust me ,,,,
We have more freekin kids over our house that eat everything.
The worst is the mess and then when you think it can't get any worse ,they leave a little surprise in the old bathroom for ya ...lol

VB

ps, hide your stuff

[Karl F]

Just outside my slider door on the patio, I keep a huge igloo marine cooler, spring, summer, fall.. full of poland spring bottles, gatorade, assorted sodas and ice, lots of. I make sure it stays full. Both my teens, (well one is 20) work 40 hour a week jobs all summer, and play soccer those three sesons, and after work, practise, or games, they come home to shower, and usually bring thirsty friends, and they hang out.... I look at it this way.. it's kinda like bait.. the teens are here, I know where they are, and What The Hell they are doing... my sons almost 21 (already back at school pre-season).. and is moving on, and I hear of what is offered at other folks houses... no wonder his age group don't come to my cooler as much anymore.. .. but they all still greet me with a smile and speak with me, with respect too!

[Raven]

stock it and lettem pay.
put a padlock on the fridge.

otherwise.... you loose.

[Jimbo]

I'm learning it's a fine line you gotta walk. Karl makes a good point, if they're at your house you at least know where they are, and there are indeed worse places. My 16 year old is part lazy, part spoiled, part slob, so she has no problem making the mess, but it's a battle to get her to clean up after her friends leave. On the otherhand, she is a good person, doesn't generally get in trouble and does extremely well in a school that in less than a year has had one teacher convicted of child molestation, and another fired just last night after he was arrested for serving beer and pot to minors, which makes me have to be a combination of Gunny Highway and Dr. Phil. Today it's more Gunny than Phil, as before I left for work I checked down in the basement where the kids "hang" to find an old dining room table, not special in any way, just a nice sturdy table the kids would play cards or Monopoly at, anyway, I find the top completely separated from the base on it's side, the bolts having been ripped through the wood, and the top which had two extension inserts, in four separate pieces also on the floor. Even Barney Fife could figure out someone was sitting or standing on it and it broke. Kids will be kids. If she had just told me when it happened and had someone apologize it would be no big deal, but what I got back when I talked to her was, "Oh yea, that table has been sort of wobbly lately. I bet it was broken and all it took was the cat jumping up on it and it broke." Naaaaaaaaaah. You come up with a more believable story before I get home, and you will be home, without your friends in tow, until further notice, I believe it's called confined to quarters. I feel your pain TattooBob!

[BigFish]

I agree with KarlF....when I was a kid my Dad kept us in sodas and we had friends over all the time. I will not complain when my kids have their friends over...actually they already do!

[whiplash]

I have 2 teenage boys and about 30 some odd friends of thiers that are always thirsty or hungery and an Italian wife who thinks its her mission to feed the friends ,the football team ( you should see those little darlings clean a table and the icebox out) and a boy scout troop. But I know were they are and by way of the heating vents I know what they are up to. They're all good kids ,but even the best kids sometimes make bad decisions. I've gotten calls at 2AM from kids that aren't mine " can you come pick me up? I'm $hit faced and my dad will kill me ". Better that than reading about them. If I can keep them safe and out of trouble it's worth it to me to pony up cokes and pasta dinners.

[Katie]

I'd be ticked off too..My mom took care of the friends thing for me.. Nobody is allowed over, that simple. no if's and's or but's about it. And i feel ya on the lazyness part.. i go to work and bust my butt, and i come home and my sister has just been sitting on the computer doing nothing..

So i get what your saying. I like raven's idea a lot too..

[tattoobob]

It really isn't a big deal, I remember what I was doing when I was there age and it wasn't pretty, oh I was a dad at 17, this is my youngest and she is 17 the best kid in the world, but we are going to have a sit down when she comes home this afternoon 1) about respecting others stuff, 2) homework, 3) cleaning up after herself and friends 4) and keeping her friends down stairs. 5) her new car she bought last night.

I don't mind feeding and giving the drinks (normally) but I haven't had a pay check in 4 weeks and times are getting tough money wise. so we all have to conserve. even her friends

it must be real nice to not have a care in the world

[MrHunters]

blame it on hormones and be done with it... it should be done in about 5 years

[Backbeach Jake]

They're at your house because they feel safe there. Calm down so they can feel safer. Just leave it be and keep the reefer stocked. You'll be proud of yourself later, trust me. My kids are grown and gone now, I'd love to be short a coupla waters.

[Redsoxticket]

Good luck

[tattoobob]

Originally Posted by Backbeach Jake

They're at your house because they feel safe there. Calm down so they can feel safer. Just leave it be and keep the reefer stocked. You'll be proud of yourself later, trust me. My kids are grown and gone now, I'd love to be short a coupla waters.

You are right, and they are all welcome any time. I am just a grumpy old fart at times

[numbskull]

Originally Posted by tattoobob

My daughter thinks it is ok to just do whatever she wants never once does she listen to anyone never does anything to help around the house, and will not listen to simple rules, last night I came home from a walk about 10pm and take a shower, she had 2 friends over, well I get out of the shower and I had to waters left I walk out in my towel and go to the fridge, the girls are there drinking them I open the door and I am like where is all my waters. they just look and said but we were thursty wtf. now I am like kinda pissed and didn't want to look like a A-hole so I went to get dressed. and I come out and now there are 2 boys there and they are all drinking the last of the caprie suns juices, just gave my wife a look like what is going on, and went to bed.

I'm going to give you some advice you should listen to.
Go buy a book called "Get Out of My Life! but could you drive me and Lisa to the mall first?" by some guy named Wolff, and read it. It will help you........ and your daughter...............a lot. If you love her, do it now.

[Squid kids Dad]

Bob....Bite the bullet and try to enjoy them while they are still home..Both of mine are more or less not living with me and at 1st it was nice & quite,but now its too quite and I miss them alot...six of one and a half dozen of the other...

[justplugit]

Originally Posted by whiplash

I've gotten calls at 2AM from kids that aren't mine " can you come pick me up? I'm $hit faced and my dad will kill me ". Better that than reading about them. If I can keep them safe and out of trouble it's worth it to me to pony up cokes and pasta dinners.

That is a great relationship you have created with the kids,Whiplash. You have my respect and congratulations for taking the time and caring enough to build it.

Two other good books on kids/teenagers and parents, are Between Parent and Child and Between Parent and Teenager by Ginop. Well worth the read.

[gone fishin]

Bob - ya just need to vent. I reared 4 kids . Three girls and one boy. Karl and others hit it right on the head. It's better to sacrifice and feed em now, rather than having them running around and getting into drugs. God knows there is enough stuff for them to get into. As far as getting a teenager to do anything around the house - forgedaboudit. Numbskull is so right - get that book and read it. It will save you and your daughters relationship.

Your daughter has wheels now - that makes the relationship even more important. Man I remember when my kids started driving. I was a wreck every night until they were in the house. Later I found that it was because I really loved them and all the nuances didn't amount ot a hill of beans.

[tattoobob]

Well it seems we are all on the same page, and Don you are right I am just venting the only people who know I was a little miffed is my wife and who ever read this thread, we are very close and she my youngest fell safe at home and I don't want to mess that up. I am totally agreeing with everything that was said here. a couple of years and we will be alone and I will be wishing they were back, my oldest boy is gone and my 2nd boy is going 9/1 so it will not be long till we are emtey nesters

Right now the car deal is going to have limits big limits school and work for now.

[stiff tip]

i have a great ans. too that prob..... just blink your tired eyes . and they will be grown and gone..enjoy every min. you have with them , deal w/ every good time or bad and never give up or turn your back on them ...after rasin to boys .. i fineeeeeely realize that , that could be good advice...never raised girls???????

[NIB]

Originally Posted by tattoobob

You are right, and they are all welcome any time. I am just a grumpy old fart at times

Teenagers push buttons.It's their job.
This is where the generation gap gets born.U can keep Ur daughter or drive her away.
U'll do the right thing.just make urself 17 again when u right Ur speech to lay down the law.
Buy cheepo water they will drink it cause it's cold.
Good Luck. I was telling Slip the other day I don't envy Parents trying to raise a 17 teenagers in this day an age.Boy that makes me sound old.

[greenmeanie]

My son has been helping all summer fixing his grandmothers house up. He knows if he dosn't help no paintball tourny's. But I think he would help because it is his gramdmother. I never have problems with him and he is a great student that gets awards all the time. I just get tired of hearing about paintball LOL. He dosn't like to fish because of the rotation and people bitching at him before for getting them tangled up so that kind of stinks.

[Swimmer]

I know its not the cost Bob. So with that said I say this. I'd feel good about your daughters feeling comfortable enough with her parents to have thier friends over as opposed to them being out in a car wandering whereever. In that regard your quite lucky.

[BottomBouncer]

Bob,

It everything all built up. Being out of work really puts a strain on your self worth and can put you into a depressed state. Start refilling the water bottles from the tap, and remember always take 10 deep breaths before speaking out of frustration or anger.

Best of luck!

[Tagger]

It gets better .. You don't want to make them hang somewhere eles ,, good you can keep an eye on them .. waters cheap .. we drank beer ..

[BottomBouncer]

Originally Posted by Tagger

It gets better .. You don't want to make them hang somewhere eles ,, good you can keep an eye on them .. waters cheap .. we drank beer ..

Unfortunately nothing is cheap when your outta work. Keep Smiling Bob better days are coming.