Yankee to Red Sox fan conversion form

[CSK]

YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. Let the healing begin:

NEW YORK YANKEES TO BOSTON RED SOX CONVERSION FORM


Thank you for your interest in becoming a member of the Boston Red Sox Fan Club. Due to an unprecedented volume of requests, we are currently processing only fan conversion registrations for New York Yankee fans. Conversion requests from other teams will be accepted once all Yankee requests are processed. We expect this to take a number of weeks based on the current backlog of requests.

Please take a few moments to fill out the conversion form below to help us get to know you better and prescribe any required counseling to recover from your previous fan experience.

Name: _______________________________

Address:______________________________

Who's Your Daddy: ____________________

1. Please select your favorite recent Yankee new player acquisition:

[ ] "Flush" Gordan
[ ] "A-Bomb" Rodriquez
[ ] "Grand Slam" Vazquez
[ ] Kevin "Charlie" Brown

2. Which of the following would you most like to see as the most played YES Network film clip in 2005:

[ ] Rivera's blown save in Game 4
[ ] The Red Sox championship celebration on the pitcher's mound in Yankee stadium
[ ] Rivera's blown save in Game 5
[ ] The Red Sox spraying celebratory champagne on their fans in Yankee Monument Park
[ ] Vasquez's grand slam home run pitch to Johnny Damon in Game 7
[ ] The Red Sox celebrating in their Yankee Stadium locker room
[ ] Vaquez's second home run pitch to Johnny Damon in Game 7
[ ] David Ortiz being awarded the MVP trophy at Yankees Stadium
[ ] Mark Bellhorn's winning home run in Game 6
[ ] A-Rod crying in the Yankees dugout after game 7

3. Please indicate the last book you read:

[ ] How to lose the ALCS in four easy lessons
[ ] The Suicide Hotline - It's not just for Cubs' fans anymore
[ ] The Heimlich Maneuver -- What to do when choking

4. Which recent Yankees personnel move did you enjoy most:

[ ] Seeing future Hall-of-Famer Roger Clemens in an Astos' uniform
[ ] Seeing David Wells in a Padres' uniform
[ ] Seeing Tino Martinez in a Devil Rays uniform
[ ] Seeing Alphono Soriano in a Rangers's uniform
[ ] Seeing Manny Ramirez remain in a Red Sox uniform
5. Which following designation best describes Derek Jeter's effort in the ALCS:

[ ] Captain October
[ ] Captain Underpants
[ ] Captain & Tenille

6. Math: The Red Sox and the Yankees played 26 times in 2004. How many more games did the Red Sox win than the Yankees? (hint: the number is the same as the number in a four game sweep)

7. Please choose your favorite movie:

[ ] Anger Management
[ ] Hunt for Red October
[ ] Damned Yankees
[ ] Still We Believe

8. Finish this sentence: "Alex Rodriquez is

a. overrated
b. overpaid
c. overdue
d. over-inflated
e. over

9. Please select your favorite recent Yankee moment:

[ ] Bucky Dent throwing out the first pitch with more velocity than Kevin Brown
[ ] A-Rod mimicking every Jeter antic in the Yankees' dugout
[ ] The Yankees wearing themselves out by scoring 19 runs when it didn't really matter
[ ] Rivera failing to prevent unkempt hooligans from eating the Yankees' lunch

10. Math: How many times have the Yankees won the World Series in the last four years? (hint: less than one)

11. Please select the most vociferous Yankee fan:

[ ] Former NYC Mayor Rudi Giuliani
[ ] Present NYC Mayor David Bloomberg
[ ] Tim McCarver

12. Are you ready to admit that:

a. Ted Williams was better than Joe DiMaggio? [ ] Yes [ ] No
b. Carl Yastzremski was a better than Mickey Mantle? [ ] Yes [ ] No
c. Carlton Fisk was better than Thurman Munson? Carl [ ] Yes [ ] No
d. Manny Ramirez is faster than Bernie Williams? [ ] Yes [ ] No
e. Reggie Jackson was a better outfielder that Hideki Matsui? [ ] Yes [ ] No
f. Gary Sheffield's statistics are entirely attributable to steroid abuse? [ ] Yes [ ] No
g. No self-respecting parasite would invade Jason Giambi? [ ] Yes [ ] No
h. The Yankees were unable to win the ALCS because ex-Red Sox manager Don Zimmer wasn't sitting next to Joe Torre making all the decisions? [ ] Yes [ ] No
i. The remainder of this century will be not be any better for the Yankees? [ ] Yes [ ] No
13. Please indicate your favorite moments in Yankee history: (Check all that apply):

[ ] Alex Rodriquez is traded to the Yankees
[ ] Don Mattingly never wins a World Series
[ ] The Yankees let Clemens get away
[ ] The Yankees pay millions to send Contraris to Chicago
[ ] The Yankees let Petitte get away
[ ] Giambi's steroid use causes a brain tumor
[ ] The Yankees let Wells get away
[ ] Mickey Mantle drinks himself to death
[ ] Billy Martin drinks himself to death
[ ] The New York Press hounds Roger Maris into psychosis
[ ] Babe Ruth drinks himself to death

14. Have you experienced any of the following after the embarrassing four
game collapse? (Check all that apply)

[ ] Headache
[ ] Uncontrolled Anger
[ ] Heartache
[ ] Holes punched in doors or walls
[ ] Nausea
[ ] Smashed TV screens
[ ] Depression
[ ] Avoided Red Sox fans for days or weeks

Once you have completed this form, please forward it to Fenway Park. Then burn all your remaining Yankee clothing, memorabilia, and associated reminders. After reviewing your request, the Red Sox Fan Club will contact you with notification of acceptance or rejection.

I hereby acknowledge that the real curse is being a Yankee Fan.

I hereby renounce the New York Yankees for all eternity on this the ______ day of ________________, 200__

____________________________________
(Signed)
(Office Use Only)

[ ] Approved

______________________________
[ ] Declined John Henry

[Bassman18]

never will I root for the red sox, nor will I ever not believe in the Yankees. BTW, the mayor of NYC is Michael Bloomburg, not David. Long live the evil empre

[KLMulder]

Geez win one WS and yall think your the straw that stirs the drink. Call me back when the Red Sox have won 26 then we will talk. Let's see they are 20 behind, have won 1 in the past 86 years so it should be the year 3724 before you come lookin for me and that would be assuming the Yankees wont win for the next 1720 years.

[fishsmith]

Geez win one WS and yall think your the straw that stirs the drink.

I think its being the first team in baseball history to win 4 straight (well 8, but who's counting ) that makes us the straw that stirs the drink.

[Squid kids Dad]

Chokers...

[28inches]

You guys are still talking about the Series??


What's worse? Not winning for 86 years, or winning ONCE in 87 years?

[CSK]

Originally posted by Bassman18
never will I root for the red sox, nor will I ever not believe in the Yankees. BTW, the mayor of NYC is Michael Bloomburg, not David. Long live the evil empre

While you're in auto correct mode there Mr. Wizard, it's Bloomberg.


I'm sure that's not much of an issue in wherever the f you're from in New Jersey. Again, you must be a big hit around the dorm in BU.

[Bassman18]

Originally posted by CSK
While you're in auto correct mode there Mr. Wizard, it's Bloomberg.


I'm sure that's not much of an issue in wherever the f you're from in New Jersey. Again, you must be a big hit around the dorm in BU.

excuse me? wanna explain where that came from?

[CSK]

Originally posted by Bassman18
excuse me? wanna explain where that came from?

My mistake, I forgot the

[Bassman18]

CSK, just wasn't sure what you meant by that comment. no harm done

[toddonbi]

one of many wonderfull ones we've all seen

[Bob Thomas]

Originally posted by 28inches
You guys are still talking about the Series??


What's worse? Not winning for 86 years, or winning ONCE in 87 years?

I LOVE that quote!! Here's some simple math.....how many times did the Red Sox win the world series in my grandfathers lifetime (He was 90) and how many did the YANKEES win in MY lifetime (30)? Pretty easy to see who's the team!

[fishsmith]

All you non Red Sox fans will never know how good this World Championship feels, and that makes the feeling even better.

Go Red Sox

[28inches]

Non Red Sox will never know why a guy would take the time and trouble to write up a form like that.

The inferiority complex should be gone by now.

[CSK]

Originally posted by 28inches
Non Red Sox will never know why a guy would take the time and trouble to write up a form like that.

The inferiority complex should be gone by now.

You're joking right? The RedSox to Yankee conversion form has been floating around for years. Please try and turn your negagtive energy into postive and help some of the tri-state area teams They need the help. Except for Buffalo.

[28inches]

Floating around for years?? A-Rod just got here this year.

Come on...how long did it take you to type that thing up?

Buffalo? I took you for a Bills fan. That's another team with a long tradition of not winning.

[The Dad Fisherman]

NOT the Yankees to red sox form. The Red Sox to Yankees form, That has been around for years.

[CSK]

Originally posted by 28inches
Floating around for years?? A-Rod just got here this year.

Come on...how long did it take you to type that thing up?

Buffalo? I took you for a Bills fan. That's another team with a long tradition of not winning.

Nah, you're confused.

The form was floating around for a couple of years in the form of disgruntled Red Sox fans look to change allegiances.

I can't type for nuthin.

I ain't no Bill fan, Pats all the way

[Hooper]

Johnny was in his 4th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up: fireman, policeman, salesman, etc...

Johnny was being quiet so the teacher asked him about his father. "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go out to the alley with some guy and make love with him for money."

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, sent the other children to work on some coloring, and took Little Johnny aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"

"No," said Johnny, "He plays for the Yankees, but I was too embarrassed to say so.

[The Dad Fisherman]

That Rocks.....and is being forwarded immediately

[Codfather4]

28 inches its very easy to be a fan of a team that wins all the time.