Doug Mirabelli Coming Back

[beamie]

Sweet,

Always liked him. Now maybe Wake can win a game.

[Surfcastinglife]

piss poor management imo. they had him here and let him go, now they have to give up another pitcher and cash to get back what they already had and could've easily kept

[The Dad Fisherman]

A day in the life of Red Sox Catcher Doug Mirabelli

9:00 Shakes off the cobwebs and gets out of bed.

9:01 Lets out blistering fart and takes 90 second piss on his hands -Farts five more times.

9:03 Drinks three raw eggs Rocky Balboa style and opens the fridge.

9:05 Takes out leftovers from the Kowloon pupu platter for three he
picked up last night.

9:15 Grunts at his wife and gives hid kids 20 bucks each to leave him alone.

9:17 Takes a dump.

9:22 Sings Van Halen in the shower.

9:25 Shaves and leaves his soul patch.

9:30 Takes 35 vicious cuts with his bat naked in front of the mirror
- screams out loud "Dougie's going deep tonight!"

9:45 Puts on his cowboy boots, tight jeans, and tank-top and gets
ready to leave.

9:50 Grunts at his wife and kids and tells them he'll see them tomorrow.

9:57 Pulls onto Rt 1 with Led Zeppelin blaring - cuts three people
off - gives the finger to all three people.

10:15 Pulls into Fenway Park - tells clubhouse parking attendant to
make sure he blocks Nomar in.

10:16 Puts the kid in a headlock and threatens the kid and his families' lives if there is one scratch on his truck.

10:22 Walks into clubhouse and calls Nomar a homo for the first time today and 350th time this month - asks Nomar if he misses his boyfriend Lou Merloni.

10:27 Takes a sh** - leaves door open and yells at anyone who walks by.

10:30 Gives Nomar a dead leg and calls him a homo.

10:33 Stuffs Derek Lowe in a locker and pisses on him.

10:37 Goes through a 10 minute hand shake with his boy Tim Wakefield.

10:45 Takes Pokey's headphones off and steps on them - says until he is hitting .250 no music.

10:50 Francona walks by and Dougie cuts him off and says "Is Dougie DH-ing the first game?"

10:51 Francona runs and hides behind Schilling.

10:55 Dougie tells Trot if he played 162 Games his numbers would look like this : .375 72 Hr's 52 Doubles 9 Singles 6 Walks 220 K'S.

11:17 Writes back response to fan's Letter "Hey Pussy, I don't wear batting gloves because they are for pussies like your boyfriend Nomar."

11:30 Walks out to batting practice with a tank-top on.

11:45 After no stretching steps into the cage - ignores the 5 bunts
standard procedure.

11:47 Takes 25 cuts - hits 17 over the monster and misses the other 8.

11:48 Calls the batting practice pitcher a homo and tells him to go
bang Nomar for mixing in a curve ball after Dougie hit one onto the Pike.

11:55 Tackles Nomar and gives him a wedgie - calls him a pickle smoker.

12:00 Dougie's daily order of Double Chicken Parm from Joe Tecci's arrives.

12:07 Dougie finishes Chicken Parm and pours the rest of his sauce
into Nomar's locker.

12:15 Tito posts lineup - Dougie sees he is not the DH - Calls
Francona a pussy. Francona runs behind Schilling.

12:25 Dougie gets naked and takes 25 swings in front of the clubhouse mirror announcing "Dougie's going deep tonight!"

12:45 Takes a sh** - uses Nomar's 350 dollar silk shirt to wipe his a$$.

1:05 Game starts - Dougie tells Francona he is not going to the
bullpen to warm up pitchers. Francona hides behind Schilling.

1:25 Dougie announces he is ready to pinch hit in the bottom of the
first for Nomar.

1:45 Abe Alvarez comes in - Dougie tells him he sucks and will be
back at Trenton (minor league) by 7 tonight.

1:55 Dougie's 4 Fenway Franks arrive - pays with Nomar's credit card.

2:15 Finishes shopping with Nomar's credit card - maxed it out at Auto Zone.

2:30 Dozes off.

3:30 Sees they are losing and goes back to the dugout and tells whole team they suck except for him and Wakefield.

3:33 Announces himself ready to pinch hit.

4:30 Sox lose game - Dougie tells Francona he should have DH'ed him - Francona runs away.

5:00 Dougie tells Nomar that singles are for pussies.

5:30 Dougie takes Batting Practice again - refuses to bunt.

5:33 Dougie hit 22 pitches over the wall 11 fair - 11 foul - all pulled - he missed 15 pitches.

6:00 Dougie notices name in line-up - calls Fancona a pussy for
batting him 8th - Francona hides behind Schilling.

6:05 Dougie demands to bat cleanup.

6:25 Announces that "Dougie's going deep tonight!"

6:30 Dinner arrives - 2 steaks from the Capital Grille - Dougie pours
steak juice into Nomar's locker - makes Derek Lowe eat the fat.

6:35 Dougie gives D Lowe an atomic wedgie.

7:00 Tells Wakefield to show some balls tonight and don't throw
anything in the dirt.

7:10 Scoreless first - Dougie tells Francona it must be the catching.

7:25 Dougie tells fans in on deck circle he is going deep.

7:27 Dougie screams at pitcher - tells him he is a pussy and he is
taking him deep.

7:30 Dougie hits bomb off the wall - coasts into second, almost gets thrown out.

7:31 Tells pitcher his fastball sucks - tells shortstop and second
baseman that he didn't get all of it.

8:15 Dougie ropes a rocket to third - third baseman takes all day and still turns a double play on Dougie.

8:16 Fans boo Dougie.

8:17 Dougie tells family of four to f*** off and steals some kids hot
dog on way to dugout.

8:18 Dougie is tired and is happy he hit into a double play - he did
not want to run the bases anymore.

9:10 Dougie strikes out on inside pitch after crushing four foul home
runs - calls pitcher, catcher, and umps all pussies.

9:30 9th inning - Dougie is exhausted - walks out to the mound and
calls Embree a pussy and tells him to just bring the heat - Dougie wants to get home.

9:50 Dougie showers - and walks around the clubhouse naked - tells the Globe's Dan Shaugnessy and Gordon Edes to blow him.

9:55 Dougie shaves - and leaves a soul patch.

10:00 Knocks Nomar off his exercise bike - calls him a homo singles
hitter and leaves clubhouse.

10:10 Cuts off four Red Sox fans - gives the bird to everyone near him.

10:25 Arrives at Kowloon Chinese Restaurant on Rt 1.

10:45 Sits down at bar and digs into his pupu platter for 3.

12:00 Stumbles home and parks truck on the front lawn - goes for a dip in his above ground pool.

12:10 Leaves tighty whiteys on his neighboor's windshield.

12:15 Walks into house naked and screams "Who saw my bomb I hit tonight?"

12:30 Wakes up whole neighborhood.

12:45 Takes 35 swings naked and orders porn.

12:55 Pulls out bucket of KFC and gets ready for movie.

1:15 Dougie passes out on couch.

[BigFish]

Is this official? Heard rumors yesterday!

[spence]

Rumor is he may even be pitching tonight

-spence

[Sea Dangles]

Originally Posted by spence

Rumor is he may even be pitching tonight

-spence

He's a catcher donkey.You scared off NIB!!!

[spence]

Originally Posted by Sea Dangles

He's a catcher donkey.You scared off NIB!!!

OOps

-spence

[Squid kids Dad]

No rumor..Its a fact!!!!

[fishsmith]

What an enterance, and he guns down Bubba Crosby, Welcome back Dougie!!

TDF - that is a classic!!

calls Nomar a homo for the first time today and 350th time this month - asks Nomar if he misses his boyfriend Lou Merloni.

lol!!!

[vineyardblues]

Another great game last night, Doug had a "Buzz" going around the park and I am sure that helped!

I hope they get the game in tonight , it would be nice to take both games this early !
VB

[RIROCKHOUND]

I think it's a great move... we end up getting Lauretta to play second, lose the catcher who cant catch and get back Doug...

Actually my favorite line was knocked Nomar off the exersize bike......