The Longest Thread in History

[JohnR]

There is a competition amongst other people that use the same message board program as we do here at S-B. It started a couple days ago and for Grins & Giggles, I figured we could jump in too. Now there is no prize and I won't get a gold star on my forehead if we join in but I figured - Why Not?


Below are the rules that were put together by the guy who started this competition.

So do we have a chance of winning? Hell no! Some of these sites have more users than we do posts but I think we can be a little respectable

A bit of fun, Longest Thread Competition (post #1)

I was thinking that we would have a bit of fun on out forums, and start a "Longest Thread Competition"

The idea is that you start a thread on your site called "The Longest Thread in History" like I have done here, and then try and make it longer than anyone else’s forums longest thread (if you know what I mean).

The topic of the thread is open to what anyone wants to talk about, for example we have played word games, asked random questions, discussed the weather, and just had a really good time.

I guess that because this is not going to be anything more than a bit of fun, we only need a few rules, but here they are:

1, The longest thread must be a new thread started when you enter the competition.
2, The thread must be named "The Longest Thread in History".
3, once you have started your thread, you must post a link to it here.
4, the competition starts as soon as you post your link.
5, You can talk about whatever you want but dont post short messages only like smilies or "k".
6, the competition ends in one month - 4th March 2002, (so you had better enter quick)

Now I fully admit that I've got a bit of a head start on you guys, but my forum is so small that it would be EASY for you guys to catch up with me, and just think of the appraisal when you over take the guy that started this competition.

Now after all, this is nothing more than a bit of fun, so there will be no prizes other than an announcement on my forum stated that you have won (I personally will not be entering the competition because I’ll be moderating it)

And remember, as they used to say on The Big Breakfast, "Don't phone in, it's just for fun".

On your marks, Get set, GO!!

[bloocrab]

..How many times can the same user post a reply in succession?.......

[bloocrab]

Well??....whats the answer?....

[bloocrab]

ok.....if the RED house is on the Right.....


and the bloo house is on the left.......

where's the white house???......

[bloocrab]

WASHINGTON DC!!!!

[bloocrab]

ANOTHER QUICKIE.......

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband
stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"


He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on
the phone."

[bloocrab]

Sheeeeeeeesh!!!!.......I have a lot of time on my hands right now...


...I was asked to design a menu cover, maybe I should get off here....and start gettin busy.....

[bloocrab]

...First a George Burns quote for ya......


"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot
pool with a rope."


I laugh at that one everytime .....

[chris L]

this is the cleanest I could find
An old Italian woman is riding the elevator in a very lavish New York City office building.
A young and beautiful woman, smelling like expensive perfume, gets into the elevator. She turns to the old Italian woman and says arrogantly, "Giorgio Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce!"
A couple of floors later, another young and beautiful woman, smelling like expensive perfume, gets into the elevator. She turns to the old Italian woman and says arrogantly, Chanel No. 5, $150 an ounce!"
Three floors later, the old Italian woman has reached her destination. As she exits the elevator, she peers at both women, bends over and farts, then bellows,
"Broccoli - 49 cents a pound!"

[bloocrab]

.....I hope this ones' not too......ummm...naughty for the site John..

..feel free to remove it, if anyone protests....


"An elderly couple, Sam and Bessie, are "snowbirds" in Donna,
Texas. Sam always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots.
Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home,
walking proudly.

He walks into the house and says to his wife, "Notice anything
different about me?" Bessie looks him over, "Nope."

Frustrated
Sam storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back
into the room completely naked except for the boots. Again
he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything DIFFERENT
NOW?"

Bessie looks up and says, "Sam, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down > again tomorrow."

Furious, Sam yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT IS
HANGING DOWN, BESSIE? IT'S HANGING DOWN
BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!!"

To which Bessie replies, "Shoulda bought a hat, Sam. ....
Shoulda bought a hat."

[JohnR]

That's the idea Bloo

[bloocrab]

Hey John.....I gotz a question for ya......

....why don't you ever appear to be online....when in fact, you are!!......you playin "Secret Sheriff" or somethin'...??...

[GBOUTDOORS]

Here gos

Man dies and goes to hell. The big guy comes in and tells his #2 man to but this one to work in a field smashing rocks with a 20# hammer and to make it 90 deg. and 90% humidity. That night he stops by to see how sick the guy is but he is smiling and loughing as he smashs the rocks. He gets mad as hell and tells the guy he should be sick as hell of this job but the guy said it was great just like back home in Massachusetts on his wonderfull farm. So he tells the #2 man to make it 110 deg. and 110 % humidity. The next night he stops by to see how sick the guy is and he is singing and has a big smile on his face. He looks at the guy and tells him he should be sick of hell but the guy said this is great just like back home on my beloved farm back in Massachusetts. So he tells his #2 man to make it -20deg. 40 mph winds and a snow and ice storm! Next day he stops by and the guy is now smiling,dancing,and loughing, he looks at the guy and asks him how can he be so happy in hell and the man said back its like this COLD DAY IN HELL MUST MEEN THAT MY PATRIOS WON THE SUPERBOWL!!!!!!!!

[The Iceman 6]

Oldie but Goodie: You actually have to think a little - sorry


Each question below contains the initials of words that will make it correct. Find the missing words.

For Example: 8 = S on a S S, would be:
8 = Sides on a Stop Sign

1. 8 = S on a S S

2. 3 = B M (S H T R)

3. 4 = Q in a G

4. 24 = H in a D

5. 1 = W on a U

6. 57 = H V

7. 1,000 = W that a P is W

8. 29 = D in F in a L Y

9. 64 = S on a C

10. 40 = D and N of the G F

ICE

[bloocrab]

#2....3 Bass Men...(Striper Hunting The RacePoint)...

#3....4 Quahogs in a Grinder??..

#4....24 Hours in a Day....

#5....1 Walleye on a Unicycle....???...

#6.....57 Heinz Varieties.....

#7 ....1,000 Ways that a Pogy is Whammed!!!...

#8.....29 Days in February in a Leap Year.....

#9....64 Stripers on a CuttyHunk trip!!!!!...... (my favorite)

#10....40 Days and Nights of the Goin' Flukin' (routine)...

[bloocrab]

.... Where are the rest of the troops???....

c'mon fellas......point click ....point click!!!.....

its easy.....

.....Sheeeeeesh!!!...so much for team effort!!....


....I think you guys need a new water cooler at the shop!!!..

[AnthonyN]

Im on a 56K that actually runs at 28.8 because of line noise that verizon can't seem to fix!!! All well here goes. Heres some jokes.

[AnthonyN]

this is my wifes not mine!



THREE MEN

One day, three men were hiking and unexpectedly came upon a large raging,
violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how
to do so.
The first man prayed to God, saying, "Please God, give me the strength to
cross this river"; Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs, and he was
able to swim across the river in about two hours, after almost drowning a
couple of times.
Seeing this, the second man prayed to God, saying, 'Please God, give me the
strength and the tools to cross this river"; Poof! God gave him a rowboat
and he was able to row across the river in about an hour, after almost
capsizing the boat a couple of times.
The third man had seen how this worked out for the other two, so he also
prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength and the tools...and
the intelligence... to cross this river." And poof! God turned him into a
woman. She looked at the map, hiked up stream a couple of hundred yards,
then walked across the bridge.

[AnthonyN]

THE HOTEL BILL
------------------------------------------------------------
A husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to
Boston. After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're
too tired to continue, and decided to stop for a rest. They
stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to
sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When
they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them
a bill for $350.

The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so
high. He tells the clerk althought it's a nice hotel, the
rooms certainly aren't worth $350. When the clerk tells him
$350 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to
the Manager.

The Manager appears, listens to the man and then explains
that the hotel has an Olympic sized pool and a huge
conference center that were available for the husband and
wife to use.

"But we didn't use them", the man complains. "Well, they
are here, and you could have," explains the Manager.

He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the
shows for which the hotel is famous. "The best entertainers
from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here," the
Manager says. "But we didn't go to any of those shows",
complains the man again.

"Well, we have them, and you could have", the Manager
replies. No matter what facility the Manager mentions, the
man replies, "But we didn't use it!"

The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and
agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it to the Manager.
The manager is surprised when he looks at the check.
"But sir," he says, "this check is only made out for $100."

"That's right," says the man. "I charged you $250 for
sleeping with my wife."

"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.

"Well," the man replies, "she was here, and you could have!"

[AnthonyN]

In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight mini skirt. When the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step on the bus. Embarrassed, and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again, she tried to make the step only to discover she still couldn't. A little more embarrassed she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step, and once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. With an embarrassed smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to make it. About this time, a large Texan, who was standing behind her picked her up by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus. She went ballistic and turned to the would be Samaritan and yelled "How dare you touch my body! I don't know you!" The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, Ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we were friends."

[teaser]

One Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair, drinking beer and watching my wife mow the lawn.
The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged at this that she came over and shouted at me, "You should be hung."
I took a drink from my can of Budweiser, wiped the cold foam from my lips, lifted my darkened Ray Ban Sunglasses and stared directly at this nosey neighbor and then calmly replied, "I am, that's why she cuts the grass."

[seabass]

[Swimmer]

Here is another post that pays homage to absolutely nothing.

[bloocrab]

Little Boo Bloo

[tattoobob]

Originally Posted by teaser

One Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair, drinking beer and watching my wife mow the lawn.
The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged at this that she came over and shouted at me, "You should be hung."
I took a drink from my can of Budweiser, wiped the cold foam from my lips, lifted my darkened Ray Ban Sunglasses and stared directly at this nosey neighbor and then calmly replied, "I am, that's why she cuts the grass."

Thats a good one I love it

[UserRemoved1]

NEWS FLASH!!!!!

In an attempt to thwart the spread of bird flu, George W. Bush has bombed the Canary Islands.

[Hooper]

Originally Posted by teaser

One Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair, drinking beer and watching my wife mow the lawn.
The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged at this that she came over and shouted at me, "You should be hung."
I took a drink from my can of Budweiser, wiped the cold foam from my lips, lifted my darkened Ray Ban Sunglasses and stared directly at this nosey neighbor and then calmly replied, "I am, that's why she cuts the grass."

[Raven]

til spring

[reelecstasy]

Dat's the fact, Jack

[Katie]

Originally Posted by teaser

One Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair, drinking beer and watching my wife mow the lawn.
The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged at this that she came over and shouted at me, "You should be hung."
I took a drink from my can of Budweiser, wiped the cold foam from my lips, lifted my darkened Ray Ban Sunglasses and stared directly at this nosey neighbor and then calmly replied, "I am, that's why she cuts the grass."

Priceless..