Yankee Fishing

[redlite]

Mi Madre just sent this to me, figured I'd share it with all ya':

Red Sox and Yankees

On a tour of Florida, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the coast for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the beach in the Pope mobile when there was a frantic commotion just off shore.

A helpless man, wearing a New York Yankee's jersey, was struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 25-foot shark. As the Pope watched, horrified, a speedboat came racing up with three men wearing Boston Red Sox jerseys aboard. One quickly fired a harpoon into the shark's side. The other two reached out and pulled the bleeding, semiconscious Yankee fan from the water. Then using (autographed Nomar) baseball bats, the three heroes in red beat the shark to death and hauled it into the boat also.

Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned them to the beach. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions," he told them. "I heard that there was some bitter hatred between Red Sox and Yankee fans, but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not the truth."

As the Pope drove off, the harpooner asked his buddies "Who was that?" "It was the Pope," one replied. "He is in direct contact with God and has access to all of God's wisdom." "Well," the harpooner said, "he may have access to God's wisdom, but he doesn't know squat about shark fishing.... how's the bait holding up?"

[BigFish]

I like that one Redlite.

[fishsmith]

Roger Clemens, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded Yankee flag in the window.
"This house is yours for eternity," God said. "This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here."
Roger felt special, indeed, and walked into his house. On his way up to the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a three-story mansion with a bright red and blue sidewalk, a 50 foot flagpole with a Red Sox flag flying on it, and a Red Sox logo in every window. In the front yard was a sign reading "Welcome to Beantown".
Clemens looked at God and said, "I don't mean to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I won three World Series rings, more awards than I can remember, and I won 300 games."
God answered, "So what do you want to know, Roger?"
"Well, why does Pedro Martinez get a better house then me?"
God chuckled and said, "Roger, that's not Pedro's house... it's mine....
and by the way - you're an A$$hole.

[argh]

YOU guys are great, AND I'm proud to be a member on this site. Forgive me, cause I'm gonna steal these. Go sox, screw the Stankees!

[TheSpecialist]

[Rock Hopper]

After god got finished telling Roger Clemens that he was an A$$hole, Roger said to god, "I was wondering where you were this October or the last 85 years?" "You weren't dozing were you?" "or were you trying to correct the curse?" "Yeah your house looks great...but where is YOUR trophy?" God said "I know Roger, I know... I am a forgiving god....and every year I forgive those damn losers for putting me through it again...!"

Then Roger said "no problem god....I got 26 of them in my house...I'll speak with the higher ups in the Evil Empire and see if they might let you at least see one..." God was grateful and couldn't thank Roger enough and said "Roger you are a stud and I knew all along you would never reach the promised land with these bums...that is why I changed the fates of you, the babe and Catfish...being a forgiving god, I couldn't forgive myself if I let any of you suffer in this Red & Blue hell we have called Bean Town "

Roger understood exactly what he ment...as he walked away and into his shrine, proudly wearing his home-pinstripes, greeted by "the Babe"who asked, "is he whinning again about not having any of these..." pointing to the 26 shinny trophies dressing the mantel.

[argh]

Nice sox loving site. Yet still have to put up with new york a-holes. Aren't there other sites you can join. THEEEEEEEE yankmees SUCK, OH so does tim mccarver.......SUCK!!!!!!!!

[Rock Hopper]

Come on Argh,

Lighten up pal....if you're (Sox Fans) going to bash the Yanks...you gotta at least expect to get a little back...even on a Sox loving site. Besides, now that you have Schilling and maybe getting A-Rod we (Yanks and their fans) don't have a rats chance in hell to win another WS in at least a year or two

[Bassman18]

Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in Central Park when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his stick, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck. A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Rangers Fan Saves Friend from Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook. "But I'm not a Rangers fan," the little hero replied. "Sorry, since we are in New York, I just assumed you were," said the reporter. "Yankees Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack" he continued writing in his notebook. "I'm not a Yankees fan either," the boy said. "I assumed everyone in New York was either for the Rangers or Yankees. What team do you root for?" the reporter asked. "I'm a Red Sox fan," the child replied. The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Bastard from Boston kills Beloved Family Pet."

[JohnR]

Hey Arghhh we bash lightly on Yankees fans here, not harshly (beside - shoulda seen it here 2 months ago)

Hey Rock Hopper - you hear the latest? No, no, not that Petit has gotten the OK from Roger to wear #21 in Texas, not that. I'm talking about todays Clemmens comments when asked if there was any chance he could be playing for his home team come April & he said YES

[The Dad Fisherman]

A teacher asks her students What their favorite baseball team is.
One of them says, “Well, my Dad is a Red Sox fan, my Mom is a Red Sox fan, so makes me a Red Sox fan.”
So the teacher says, “Well, that’s not very good; if your mother and father were both morons, would that make you a moron too?”
“No, that would make me a Yankees fan.”